I'll Keep You Safe
by Horses of Shadow and Night
Summary: Alone in the world, 10 year old Alice comes across the dry dock where the great ship Titanic is being constructed. After being found and taken in by the ship's designer, she thinks she must be the luckiest girl in the world. But when the ship begins to sink, will her luck run out? Rewrite of a previous fanfic, "Rags to Riches"
1. Chapter 1

A sandwich, a beautiful glorious morsel, sitting right there next to the biggest ship in the world. The sunlight reflects off the half built ship, shining the dying rays of sun onto the half eaten delight that sits there, mocking me. I haven't eaten in almost a week and suddenly, as I make my rounds around the ship looking for food I see it, sitting up there! My only problem is, the sandwich is very, very high up, and I don't think I'll be able to reach it.

My name's Alice, though in my current situation I've been calling myself 'Al', a boy's name. Why? Because I'm dressed as a boy, hiding out in a boy's world! My hair is carefully tucked up under a cap I keep low on my face, so nobody will notice I'm a girl, I can't be discovered. My current location is Belfast Ireland, in some dry dock I forgot the name of. The only thing that brought me here was word of a big ship being built, a ship that when completed will be the biggest ship the world has ever seen. Its name is Titanic.

I figured this would be the perfect place to hide out, with a ship like this being built, nobody would notice me. The ship is large enough to avoid people, when they're working in one spot, I merely hide out in a completely different spot. It's like a game of hide and seek, only the consequences of being found are certainly not so fun. But I haven't been caught yet, and if I'm right I believe I've been hanging around here almost a month, maybe a little more. That seems to be a clear sign that it's safe for me here.

My day starts with getting up, usually after sleeping under the massive structure and praying that it doesn't fall on top of me. I begin wandering around the ship, waiting and watching as the workers begin to arrive, beginning their work on the ship. Around noon, it becomes clear where they will be focused on working, and those are the places I avoid for the day. The day passes slowly some days, quickly on others. When the whistle blows and the workers go away, that's when I quickly zone in on the places they'd been that day. More often than not, one of those foolish men abandons their lunch, or drops a piece of bread off the top of the scaffolding. This is my food for the entire day, a one course meal, I guess I don't mind. A little food is better than none at all isn't it?

Lately though, nobody has left anything! Not a crumb! Maybe they got yelled at that they need to pick up after themselves, the slobs. So one week without food and then today by chance, I see it! The beautiful sandwich that has caught my eye! I must have it! I must! My stomach has been paining me with the hunger! But it's so high up! Standing next to the ship, it doesn't look so high, the scaffolding platform it is perched on is not even a fourth of the way up Titanic's side! And yet to me, a small girl hardly 10 years of age, I believe I'd have an easier time climbing a 2 story house to get the sandwich than climbing this thing! What if I were to slip and fall?

But I'm so hungry, surely that sandwich would be worth the risk, and definitely worth the effort to climb up there! It looks like it's worth it! From where I'm standing it looks barely touched, like the worker never got a chance to eat it because he was called to do something. That settles it then, I'm going up there to get it! Grabbing onto the metal bars that support the high platforms, I begin to haul my way up towards it. As I climb, I repeat the words 'Don't look down' to myself, like a mantra. The sandwich is in reach now, I reach up and grab it, holding it in my hand. Oh it's such a sight to behold!

"YOU LAD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?" a voice yells. Startled, I jump, the sandwich falling out of my hand and plummeting to the hard ground below. And I, follow not far behind it. I try to scramble down as quickly as I can, and I'm almost there when my foot slips and I fall to the hard ground below. The sandwich splatters into oblivion the minute it hits the ground, and I believe I can almost say the same for myself. The breath has been knocked right out of me, I have to take a breath though! Oh god, that sandwich in my hand so looked worth it too. I feel something sticky and raise my hand to my head, realizing my cap which has been concealing me is gone, and when I bring my hand down front of my face, it is covered in warm red liquid, oh golly I'm bleeding!

I think that man who yelled at me is coming! I have to scram out of here fast before I'm caught! I get to my hands and knees quickly, but regret it in an instant as horrible pain rips through me! It feels like I'm being stabbed! I collapse again, taking deep breaths, I have to remain calm! But the man is coming closer! I see him out of the corner of my eye! I have to go! I have to go! I can feel the panic rising in my chest, urging me on despite the pain. Once again I get to my hands and knees, forcing myself to my feet. I barely make a step though before I'm on the ground again, rolling on my side and drawing my knees up to my chest, into fetal position. I've never been in so much pain before! All for that sandwich, that beautiful sandwich, which is no more. I can see it splattered not far from me, it's enough to completely shatter my heart.

The man is very close now, but my vision is getting a little dark around the edges. I have to get away though, if he catches me I'm done for! But I can't move, hardly a muscle! Defeated, I lie there and listen as his footsteps come closer and closer and closer. I close my eyes in fear of what is coming to confront me now, but I'm caught by surprise as a gentle hand shakes my shoulder. "Young lady? Can you answer me?" he asks. He doesn't sound angry. He doesn't even sound like he's going to throw me out. He sounds, concerned.

I swallow, there's a weird taste in my mouth but I ignore it as I try to answer him, "Yes sir."

He turns me over so I'm lying on my back, facing up at him. The movement causes pain to rip through my and a cry escapes my lips. Immediately he apologizes, and I crack open my eyes to see just what this kind stranger looks like. If I wasn't hurting so much, I'd be admiring how handsome he is, even with concern etched all over his features. "What do you think you're doing here?" he asks me.

Once again have to swallow as I try to speak with him, for some reason I can't get the words to form, it seems so difficult. "Starving," I reply. It is the good honest truth, I was starving here, and my eyes wander to the poor remains of my failed effort.

His eyes follow mine and he looks at the sandwich briefly before looking back down at me, "You couldn't buy a sandwich? You had to come to my shipyard and steal a sandwich from my workers?" he asks. I manage to nod, though immediately regret it as a wave of nausea ripples through me. I have not a penny on me, otherwise of course I would buy my own sandwich! And I'd buy a new dress since I outgrew my only one a year or two ago, and I'd buy a place to stay for the night too! And a nice bath! Oh the things I would get if I had money!

Everything is beginning to grow fuzzy, but I try my very hardest to fight it. If I answer all the questions this man feels the need to ask, maybe I won't get in as much trouble. Besides, who knows what will happen to me if I were to blackout. Would they throw me in the ocean? Would they hand me over to the police? I whimper in pain as he touches my head, "You've got quite a gash there. Where are you parents?" he asks.

It's getting harder and harder to answer his questions, I can hardly breathe. "No family sir," is all I can manage to reply.

The man says nothing for a while, as if he's trying to decide what exactly to do. I glance over at the ship, he said this is his shipyard. That would make this his ship wouldn't it? I swallow again before trying to choke out a compliment, "Your ship is..." I pause as pain rips through me again, "the most amazing thing I've ever seen sir..." That's all I can say, it's getting harder and harder to breathe. I can't say anymore, I just can't say anymore.

He hushes me, "You'll tell me more later, for now you need some medical attention."

My vision is darkening some more, I can't let this happen! I must stay awake! The man gently picks me up and another cry escapes my lips, I can't help it! It hurts! Why couldn't I have the sandwich? Why? It was such a nice sandwich! I'm forced to close my eyes, the pain is too much. I just wanted a little food, just a sandwich, only a little bite of a sandwich! I would have been happy I swear! The world goes dark on me and my last thoughts are not on the sandwich, or the mysterious person who has taken me captive, but are directed towards Titanic, this will be my first time not sleeping under her in a long time. I bid her goodnight before I lose my senses completely.

* * *

Mr. Thomas Andrews, that is the man's name. Apparently he designed that big ship I've been calling home. He has been nothing but nice to me since I woke up, apparently quite a while after my tumble. I tried to say I was sorry for trespassing, but before I could say a word he hushed me and said HE was sorry for scaring me and causing me to fall, and lose my meal. Since that moment I've decided I quite like Mr. Andrews, I like him a lot.

He told me I was quite lucky, although breaking ribs isn't exactly what I'd consider lucky. He gave me a bowl of broth in exchange for information about myself. I would have told him even without the food, but the prospect of a warm meal overwhelmed me and I ate like an animal the minute the bowl was placed before me, as if he would suddenly change his mind and take it. My father used to play cruel jokes like that on me, giving me food after a hard day of working then he'd take it from me and give it to the animals if I said or did something wrong. Usually I didn't really understand what I did, I still don't.

When the broth is polished off, I look up at him and sigh, "Ok, I'll tell you how I got to your ship now. You see, my Mother had been sick for as long as I could remember. About a year ago she finally passed away. My father, he never liked me much, said he didn't like payin' to feed and take care of a mistake. He always forced me to do work around the house like cleaning and feeding the animals and such. Well after my Mother was gone he pulled his shotgun on me hardly a day later and told me to get out of his sight, get off his land. He told me if he ever saw me again he'd shoot me dead right on the spot. My father is a man of his word, and he didn't have to tell me twice to scram. I left. Then I traveled a while, and I heard talk that they were building the biggest ship ever. I decided I wanted to see it for myself, so I traveled here to Belfast. Sure enough, I met your lovely Titanic, and I've been sleeping under her and living off her for almost a whole month!"

The man looks really disturbed by my story, and frankly, I don't blame him. It's not really a nice story. I've already cried all my tears over it though, and now what happened just seems to be a fact. It happened, and I have to live with it. I don't get a choice in the matter. Deep down inside though, I wish for a family. During my travels I saw lots and lots of children, with mothers and fathers that loved them. I have never known that, never. And I would love to know what it feels like to have someone care about me like that. Maybe Titanic was my guardian for a while. Gave me shelter, food, everything I could need to be happy. And I was!

Mr. Andrews looks down for a moment before looking back up at me, "I don't want you to sleep under my ship anymore," he says.

I sigh sadly at this, I won't cry! I won't cry! I feel my eyes water but I'm, oh, ouch sobbing hurts! I can't help it though! Not be able to sleep under the Titanic anymore? Where am I supposed to go? On the road again? I hate the road! I hate it! Food is harder to find! People are mean to me!

Mr. Andrews hushes me and reaches a hand out, taking mine in a firm yet gentle grasp. His hands are rough with callouses, but they're warm and comforting too and I find myself feeling slightly calmer at his touch. "I want you to stay here with me for a while, until you are well again," he tells me. My tears intensify, he's being so nice to me!

I nod my head though, "I'll do whatever you want! I'll scrub the floors! I'll dust! Anything!"

He merely shakes his head and smiles kindly, "You just rest. You don't need to do anything for me," he tells me. I thank him repeatedly, he's a good man! Such a good man! The man I wish my father could be! A gentleman! Yes! That's the word! Gentleman! I never thought I'd ever meet one! I was convinced such a person didn't exist but here he is, there is a gentleman in this world and his name is Thomas Andrews!

* * *

It's been almost two months since the incident. I feel like Cinderella, like this is a fairy tale or some kind of dream that I'll wake up from. But it isn't! This is all real, and I couldn't be happier. I have my own room, all new clothes just for me, and I get a hot meal every day! What more could a kid ask for? All good things must come to an end though, and Mrs. Andrews, Mr. Andrews' wife, she just had a baby. Her name is Elizabeth, but Mr. Andrews and I call her Elba for short.

With a new baby for them to take care of, I don't want to overstay my welcome. Mr. Andrews has been very kind to me, but I feel better now. I really do! So I think tomorrow it would be best if I hit the road again and found a new place to live for a while. I've even packed my suitcase and everything. There's not much in it, I decided it would be rude of me to take all the dresses they bought me, so I only have some bread and things I've been sneaking from the dinner table the past few nights. I'm a little worried though, it's December and it's snowing outside. It looks awfully cold and I don't have a coat, but I'm sure I'll manage! I made it this far.

I'm sitting on my bed playing with some ribbon after dinner when I hear my name called by one of the servants. They don't have many, only five, one of them was hired right when Elba was born but she takes care of me too. She pokes her head in my bedroom door, "Alice, Mr. and Mrs. Andrews would like to see you downstairs."

Did I do something wrong? Nervously, I climb off my bed and head down the staircase and to the glass door on the left, which leads to the sitting room. Mrs. Andrews is sitting near the fireplace with a book in her lap while Mr. Andrews is standing beside her. He smiles gently when he sees me, but he looks almost as nervous as I am for some reason. What's wrong? Did something happen?

"You called for me, sir?" I ask, standing as straight as I can. I've made an effort to be as well behaved as possible, but sometimes it's hard. Mrs. Andrews has had to correct me and teach me a lot of things that I didn't know before. She's also talked about stays to make my waist smaller. I don't know what that means but I'm a little scared. Is that what this is about?

Mr. Andrews nods to me, "Yes Alice, there's something I'd like to ask you." He motions to a chair and I sit down in it carefully, looking up at him. A question for me? I glance over at Mrs. Andrews but I can't tell what she's thinking. "Alice, you've been a very well behaved and sweet little girl. I'd like to thank you for trying to do everything we've instructed."

Is he throwing me out? This sounds like a throwing me out speech. I swallow uneasily, my throat feels uncomfortably tight. I know I need to leave but suddenly, I don't really want to. I don't want to be a burden, but I love Mr. and Mrs. Andrews as though they were my real parents! "You're welcome sir, I know you've been trying to help me. I'm very grateful to you," I reply.

He continues, "Mrs. Andrews and I have grown very fond of you, and we don't feel comfortable with the thought of you being in the streets alone. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you." Where is he going with this? Is he sending me to an orphanage or something? That's not such a bad thought, but I'm not really an orphan. What if they tried to send me back to my father?

At this point Mrs. Andrews looks up, smiling at me in that soft motherly way she usually smiles at Elba. What's going on? I'm so confused. Mr. Andrews steps forward and kneels down in front of me so he's down on my level. "Alice, we would like you to stay in our house, permanently. I want to adopt you, and make you part of our family. Would you consider it?"

I don't know what to say. Be part of the family? "Are you sure?" I ask. Mrs. Andrews actually lets out a laugh from where she sits and Mr. Andrews chuckles as well.

"Of course I'm sure!" he replies, smiling brighter than I've ever seen him smile before.

"Mr. Andrews, I think I'd really like it if you were my father."

He's absolutely beaming as he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. I hug him back, feeling tears prick my eyes. I'm so happy! I can't believe it! Now I really am living in a fairy tale! He stands up and I run over to Mrs. Andrews, who also takes me with open arms, even planting a little kiss on my cheek. I turn back to Mr. Andrews, who ruffles my hair, "Well Miss Alice Andrews, would you like some help unpacking that suitcase?"

I gasp at him, "How did you know about that?"

He chuckles again, "Father's intuition?"


	2. Chapter 2

It's Christmas Eve tonight, and my first night officially being Alice Andrews. It took Mr. Andrews a little while to get all the paperwork done. They had to find and ask my real father permission to give me away, since I'm not an orphan. He had absolutely no problem signing me off to a stranger. It makes me hate him even more. Doesn't matter now though, I'll never see him again!

I can't sleep, not a wink. Too much has happened today and I far too much energy! We got a Christmas tree today, a real one! And I helped the servants decorate it and everything. Mr. Andrews told me that someone named Santa is going to bring me presents tomorrow. I still don't really understand who that is, despite the multiple explanations I've been given about him. Supposedly he delivers presents to all the good children in the whole world, but he's never brought me anything before. Where was he? Did he get lost?

Bessie, our nursemaid, comes into my room and distracts me from my thoughts. "Alice, I think your Father would like to see you downstairs. Are you feeling well enough?"

My family has been very careful with me because of my injuries. Today they were worried about me 'overexerting myself'. However I feel just fine, and I carefully crawl out of bed, "I'm fine; I'm coming!" I tell her.

I pull on my slippers before making my way down the stairs. This house is really beautiful, even without all the Christmas decorations and garlands and trimmings that have been put up for the holiday. The stained glass windows on the landing of the staircase are my favorite thing and I always stop to admire them when I'm making my way up or down. One of the servant girls is coming up the stairs with a tray, she smiles at me, "Mr. Andrews is in the sitting room." I thank her and head right there.

Mr. Andrews is sitting near the fireplace when I arrive, and stands when I enter the room. "There she is! We must prepare for Santa's arrival!"

Prepare? What's there to prepare I thought all he needed was a tree? I'm utterly bewildered, but I can't help but feel a little bit excited anyway over whatever it is Mr. Andrews has planned.

He hands me a piece of paper and one of his fancy pens, "First, you must write a note to Santa. You must tell him what you'd like to receive for Christmas," he instructs.

I frown, feeling a little disappointed already. I push the paper and pen back towards him, "I can't write or read, so I guess I can't write it." I tell him.

He scoffs, not even missing a beat, "Nonsense! I'll write it for you! Here, let's start it out." He stands and places the paper on the fireplace mantel, beginning to write. "Dear Santa," he says slowly as he writes, before turning to me, "Now, what would you like to ask Santa for? You can ask him for absolutely anything!"

I can't really think of a single thing to ask him for, since I already have everything I want. I have to think really really hard about it. My mind drifts back to a few nights ago when Elba was being fussy and having a bad day. Mr. Andrews sent Mrs. Andrews upstairs to get some rest after dinner, and the two of us looked after the baby together. Mrs. Andrews went to bed, and Mr. Andrews told me I could go to bed too. But I replied that I didn't mind staying up and helping, honestly!

He was so tired from work, I don't think he had it in him to fight me to go upstairs. So the two of us stayed up together and tried to get Elba to settle down. She didn't make it an easy task by any means either! Whenever I held her she'd reach up and pull a pin out of my hair. Within the hour my hair was completely loose because little Elba had managed to take every single pin out! It was almost midnight by the time we finally got her to go to sleep and stay that way. And in order to celebrate our success in conquering the infant, Mr. Andrews made us hot chocolate.

Until a few days ago, I'd never had such a thing before, never even heard of it. I'd never even heard of chocolate either! Mr. Andrews was completely shocked by that, he asked me if I'd ever had any candy or sweets before. Of course I answered him with an honest, no. And so, he gave me hot chocolate and told me it would be the best thing I ever tasted in my life. Well, he was definitely right! I downed that hot chocolate quite fast! It's officially my new favorite drink of all time.

That's it! "Well, I'd like some more hot chocolate please, and I'd like to try some candy or sweets. I've never had candy or sweets before," I tell him.

Mr. Andrews smiles, pleased by my answer, and writes down my request before looking back down at me, "What else? Wouldn't you like some new toys?" he asks. Toys? I never had a real toy before, certainly nothing new. I've only ever seen them in shop windows. I saw a doll in a shop window just the other day, wearing the prettiest dress I'd ever seen.

"I saw a pretty doll in one of the shop windows the other day. I think I'd rather like a doll like that one. And maybe, a pony. That's everything"

"A pony?" he asks, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

I smile and nod, "Yes! Ponies are so lovely, I'd just love to learn how to ride one!"

He laughs as he writes it down, "Quite a modest list young lady, with the exception of the pony. That is rather an expensive investment. Perhaps another Christmas, Santa will bring you a horse."

Once the list is done, one of the maids comes in with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. She places it on a table near the tree, smiling knowingly at Mr. Andrews before leaving the room. "What's this for?" I ask him.

"Treats for Santa of course! He gets hungry and thirsty during his travels!" he replies, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. I suppose it makes a lot of sense, I know I got pretty hungry and thirsty when I was travelling. The maid returns and hands him a very big colorful sock and he tucks my note into it before handing it down to me. "Now this is your stocking Alice, it's where Santa will leave little trinkets for you. We'll hang it over the fireplace so Santa will see it when he comes down the chimney."

He takes my hand and guides me over to the fireplace, helping me reach up to a small hook on the mantel. Once the stocking is hung he picks me up and carries me over to the chair he'd been sitting in before, settling me on his lap. "Now that all of the important work is done, tell me Alice, are you happy here?"

"Oh yes sir! Happier than I've ever been in my whole life!" I reply. It's the truth, this really is the happiest I've ever been in my whole life.

"I'm glad," he says, gently reaching up and brushing a blond curl behind my ear. I rest my head on his shoulder and watch the fire cackling in the fireplace.

"Will he really come? Santa I mean. How does he know I'm here?"

"Of course he will come. Santa knows everything."

Knows everything? He must be a really special person then. My eyelids grow heavy, Mr. Andrews is very warm and comfortable. I feel safe when I'm with him, like nothing in the whole world could possibly go wrong. How could it when things are so perfect? It's hard to stay awake, and he must have noticed. "Go to sleep Alice, and when you wake up Santa will have brought you everything your heart desires and more," he whispers, placing a gentle kiss on my head. The last thing I'm aware of is him picking me up and carrying me up the stairs before I fall asleep.

The next morning I'm woken up by Bessie. She smiles cheerfully as she shakes my shoulder, "Wake up Miss Alice, Happy Christmas!" she says.

I blink up at her, before realizing that it is in fact Christmas. I sit up, suddenly energized by anticipation. Did Santa come? He must have because Mr. Andrews said he would and he never lies to me at least he's never lied before! But I gotta go and check! I practically leap out of my bed, and would have raced down the stairs immediately if Bessie hadn't stopped me. "Hold on a moment miss, you'll have your presents. But first let's get you looking presentable."

I can barely contain myself as she takes off my nightgown and puts me in a really pretty red satin dress, with a white bow and white lace around the collar. "Please hold still miss," Bessie says patiently as she brushes my hair, tying a white bow in it. Once I'm finally fully dressed she lets me go, and I run down the stairs as quickly as I can, nearly running into one of the maids once I hit the main floor.

The sitting room is like nothing I've ever seen before. Under the tree are packages galore, wrapped in shiny paper and tied with fancy ribbons and bows. The stocking, which I'd hung with Mr. Andrews the night before is now overflowing with goodies and trinkets. The plate with the cookies now holds nothing but crumbs and the glass of milk is completely empty! Santa! He did come he really did! I feel slightly overwhelmed, I hardly even know where to begin.

Mr. and Mrs. Andrews are already there, Mrs. Andrews sitting on the couch with Elba while Mr. Andrews is standing beside her. They both turn when I enter the room and Mrs. Andrews beams, "Alice, don't you look lovely this morning! Happy Christmas!" she says.

"Happy Christmas," I reply breathlessly, still a little bit in shock.

Mr. Andrews comes over to me, taking my hand, "Well Alice? What do you think? I told you Santa would come! How about we look in your stocking first to see what he's brought you."

He leads me over to it, taking it down for me and leading me to sit beside Mrs. Andrews. I dig through my stocking to find it full of little candies and chocolates, just like I'd asked for! Lollipops and taffy and caramel, my mouth is watering to try them! But there are other things in here as well! Small tin figures of strange animals I don't know the names of, a toy car, and little toy people. At the bottom I even find a skipping rope! Oh I don't know how to skip rope but I've seen other little girls do it so I can't wait to learn how myself!

"What's wrong? Aren't they to your liking?" Mr. Andrews asks, kneeling in front of me.

I sniffle and wipe at my watery eyes. I can hardly even believe I'm crying but I just can't help it. I'm so happy! "Oh Daddy, this is the happiest day in my whole life!" I reply. His smile at that moment could have lit the entire Titanic. He picks me up, twirling me around the room and making me laugh before he hugs me tightly.

When he releases me he sits down on the floor with me and I sit beside him, crawling over to the tree and picking up presents. One by one I begin to unwrap them, many of the boxes have new dresses and chemises and such. There's a beautiful doll house with a bow on it, a rocking horse with a real horsehair mane and tail, and a scooter that Mr. Andrews promises to teach me how to ride when spring comes. There are also ice skates, a stuffed bear, and in the very last box I open is the most beautiful doll I've ever laid eyes on. It's the exact one I asked for! The one I saw in the shop window.

I pick it up carefully, wanting to make sure not to break it. "Oh my, it's just the one I asked for. She's so beautiful," I look up at Mr. and Mrs. Andrews, "Thank you so much!" I tell them.

Mr. Andrews smiles gently, giving me a peck on the forehead, "Don't thank us darling, Santa brought them."

The rest of the day goes by quietly, we eat dinner together as a family and it's a really happy occasion. I'm a little sad I don't get to eat much, my portion of the Christmas ham is really small. The doctor I guess told my new family that I'm so malnourished I should only be given food in small increments. I hope next Christmas I can eat a little more than this, because this is the best dinner I've ever eaten!

* * *

Winter is long, very long. It's only been a month, but it still feels long. I spend all of my time inside the house, usually in my room playing with the toys I got on Christmas. Elba has been moved into my room so we have to share now. I don't usually mind, she's nice company during the day. But sometimes she wakes up screaming in the middle of the night and then I can't sleep.

I rarely call Mr. and Mrs. Andrews by their names anymore, they've become Daddy and Mummy. Daddy isn't around much, he spends most of his day at the shipyard working. When he comes home in the evening I always get at least a few minutes with him in front of the fireplace. He's told me all sorts of stories about when he was a boy, and I think he's a very interesting person. Like Santa, he seems to know just about everything. Daddy also told me one night that when spring comes, he'll take me to see how much progress has been made on Titanic. I can't wait to see it! I bet it looks completely different now.

Mummy is trying to teach me proper etiquette and how to read and write. I have to confess that reading and writing is really hard. I'm trying my best, but I can only do so much. Really, I'm not quite sure what to do. I want to please her, and make her proud of me, but I haven't even been able to read through what's supposed to be a simple book by myself yet.

Today Daddy has the day off because it's been snowing pretty heavily for the past couple days. Today it's not so bad, but work on the ship has still been halted until the snow can be cleared. I am so bored I feel as though I might explode and bounce off the walls. As we eat breakfast together he must notice, "Alice, how would you like to go for a walk into Belfast? I think the air would do you some good."

Mummy looks up from her breakfast, "Are you sure that's such a good idea? What if she catches cold?"

"She won't! She's a tough little girl aren't you Alice?"

Before I can answer Mummy cuts in, "She may be tough but she's in delicate condition. What if it's too much for her?"

Daddy places a hand over Mummy's, looking at her calmly, "She'll be all right. We'll bundle her in her warmest coat and if she tires I'll carry her."

With that, Mummy gives in and consents. I'm so excited! I get to go out of the house for the first time since I injured myself! And I might actually get to touch snow! How crazy is that!

The two of us leave the house not long after that, both dressed in the warmest coats and hats we own. Honestly, I don't think Mr. Andrews' hat is very warm, it's more 'in style' than warm. But it doesn't matter to me, I'm finally getting out of that blasted house! Sure I love the house, but I need to get outside!

We walk down a couple of streets, and I ask Daddy lots of questions as we walk. I like asking him questions, because as I said, he seems to know everything. He answers every single one that I throw at him without even the slightest hesitation. I think he secretly enjoys answering them, even on the occasions he has to remind me not to be rude. Eventually, we have walked all the way to the park, which is quite far from our house. Daddy decides to sit on a bench and rest for a moment, though he doesn't look very tired to me. I think he just wants an excuse to read the paper. I decide to explore while I wait for him to get up again.

I spend a few minutes investigating the snow itself, because I've never been allowed to even touch it before. During the winter months at my old home, my parents never let me outside. There was too much housework to be done! It was certainly just as cold inside as it was outside, and I always hated winter for how cold, dreary, and lonely it was.

During those winters, once I'd cleaned every inch of our dirty little house, if there was time left in the day I'd hide under the stairs and play with the little fabric doll my mother had secretly given me when I was very little. The clothing was torn to ribbons and her yellow yarn hair was hard and crusted with dirt. Even her face, which I'm sure was painted to look quite pretty once, had faded so much that from a distance it looked as though she had no face at all.

I still have the doll, her name is Colleen. I kept her with me on my travels to keep me company. She was abandoned for a short while after I'd fallen from Titanic, but the day after I told Mr. Andrews where I had hidden her and in one of his earliest acts of kindness, returned her to me without question. Sometimes, I pull her out from her hiding place when Bessie isn't around and let her join in as I play with my newer, fancier toys and dolls. I hide her so that Bessie and Mummy don't take her and throw her away, for while Daddy willingly gave her back, I'm not sure they would be so accepting of her appearance. It would make me very sad if they took her away after all we've been through.

Standing in the snow for the first time, I do everything I can think to do in it. I kick it, I make footprints, I even make a snow angel! It doesn't take very long for me to figure out that I can pack it into different shapes. How the gears turn in my mind as I pack a handful of snow into a ball. I look up at Mr. Andrews, he is totally unsuspecting. He's still reading the newspaper!

Trying to stifle my giggles, I take the ball and hurl it at him, pegging him in the shoulder. He looks up from the paper with a surprised and indignant look on his face, which causes me to laugh. He brushes the snow off his shoulder calmly before standing up, scooping up snow, patting it into a ball far larger than mine, and throwing it at me. I dodge out of the way and quickly make another ball of snow, throwing it at him and hitting him again. I have pretty good aim!

The snow war wages for a while, and ends when I dodge a snowball and it pegs a passing lady in the back of the head. We both immediately jump as it makes contact with her and my daddy stands there startled, having no idea what to do. Being the gentleman he is, I don't think he's ever hit anyone with anything. He's probably panicking internally over what to do about it, I can see it written all over his face! I've learned from experience exactly what to do in situations like this though! I run up to him, grab him by the hand, and began racing out of the park with my head ducked. He takes after my example and we both high tail it out of there.

Once we're clear of the park and safe from that woman, we both burst into fits of laughter. I smile up at him, having trouble containing my giggles, "I think you need to work on your aim!"

He laughs good-naturedly and ruffles my hair, "I'll have you know I have excellent aim! I was simply going easy on you!" The look on his face when he pegged that lady though, it told me otherwise! He still can't seem to believe he hit her, I can't believe it either, which makes it that much funnier!

When we return home, we eat dinner with mummy before we settle in front of the fireplace together and talk about various things. I try to pay close attention to what he's saying but the day tired me out, and I end up falling asleep to the soothing sound of his gentle, steady voice.


	3. Chapter 3

Today hasn't been a good day. It's May, the flowers are in full bloom, the birds are chirping, and the weather is finally warm and sunny. I haven't been able to go out and enjoy it much though. Mummy doesn't want me outside unattended frequently and Bessie has her hands full with Elba so that means I can't go out to play very often.

Mr. Andrews has been very busy at the shipyard lately and often doesn't come home until the sun is setting, which is too late to go play. I snuck out once to try out my scooter, but I fell on the sidewalk and ripped my stockings. I got in a bit of trouble for that one, mummy was really unhappy. I was more unhappy because I bloodied my knee and it strung terribly when Bessie cleaned it up. I don't really understand why alcohol is used to clean wounds, I think water would be better. It certainly would hurt less I think!

Sometimes I can get Lizzie to come watch me for a little while. She's the youngest maid in the house, and during her breaks she doesn't mind coming outside with me to get a little fresh air. I go out with her, and she watches me while I race my scooter up and down the street. When I'm a very good girl sometimes I get to sit in the backyard on a blanket and play all by myself with no supervision or anything. On those occasions I confess that I like to climb trees, even though mummy told me not to do that. I can see so much from up there though, and I'm very careful! It's fun! So, I don't really intend to stop climbing the trees, but nobody has to know.

Despite my minimal play schedule, I was enjoying it being spring, until today. Mummy came into my room this morning with a corset, and she dressed me herself instead of Bessie. She pulled on it, and suddenly I felt as though I couldn't breathe or anything. My ribs began to hurt and despite how I tried to squirm away I couldn't.

Once it was all laced up, she put my regular dress over it and smiled, "See how much nicer that looks Alice. You'll see, by starting early you'll have a nice tiny waist when you're a big girl," she'd said.

"But Mummy, it hurts," I told her, trying to adjust myself in any way possible. My back hurt, my ribs hurt, it was so tight I felt as though the life were being squeezed out of me. I couldn't bend over, I felt as though I could hardly move. How was I supposed to play? How was I to do anything?

She'd patted me on the head, "You'll get used to it, I hardly even tightened it! Now come along Alice let's go down to breakfast."

All day I've endured this stay, counting down the minutes til bedtime so I might take it off and be able to breathe again. The moment I'm excused from dinner instead of going into the sitting room to spend time with Daddy like I normally would, I race up the stairs to my room so that Bessie can put me in my nightclothes.

"Bed so soon Miss Alice?" she asks as I enter the room.

I nod quickly, "Yes please!" I tell her. She puts down the linens she'd been folding and begins removing my dress. But just before she puts my nightgown over my head I stop her.

"What about my stays? Don't those come off now too?" I ask her.

She shakes her head, pulling my nightgown over my head. "Oh no, your mother has instructed me to leave them on. You're being waist trained."

What? What does she mean they can't come off? I want them off! I want them off right this instant! Oh please tell me she's only being silly! But, as she puts Elba to bed and then me, I realize she is quite serious. She bids us goodnight before leaving for her own room. Taking a deep breath, well, as deep a breath as I can take in this torture device, I try to settle down for the night.

I can't get comfortable. I toss and turn, trying to find any position that will work. I can't sleep, the stays are hurting me too much. Fine, if Bessie won't take it off I'll cut it off myself! Standing up, I begin searching the room for something, anything sharp enough to cut the ribbons. I do it as quickly and quietly as I can, but as I tear through drawers and peek in every nook and cranny of the room I realize that Mummy must have taken all the sharp things out of the room.

My eyes begin to well with tears, blurring my vision as I grow more desperate. I want out! I can't reach behind myself to untie it, and even if I could reach I'm sure Mummy tied it in knots so it couldn't be undone. Hopelessly, I fall onto my bed and begin to sob, but crying is so hard when I can't even get a good breath. I feel like I'm suffocating in this thing, dying a slow, horrible, painful death.

My crying wakes Elba, who then also begins to cry. Bessie comes in the room not a moment later, looking rather irritated, "Alice! Now look what you've done! Stop your crying you're upsetting Elizabeth!" she scolds, walking over to the cradle and picking up the baby. I can't help it though, it just hurts so much and I hate it!

The two of us continue to cry for what must be a long time. Bessie looks exhausted, and I feel as exhausted as she looks. Being tired only makes me feel worse, and try as I might to stop my own tears I just can't.

Suddenly there's a soft knock on the door and Mr. Andrews steps into the room. "What seems to be the matter ladies?" he asks.

Bessie looks up at him, looking exasperated, "I'm terribly sorry sir. Mrs. Andrews started Alice's waist training today and she's very uncomfortable. Her crying upset Elizabeth and I've yet to calm either of them," she explains.

He walks over to Elba, taking the baby from Bessie and cradling her, "You're dismissed for the night, go rest. I'll take care of them."

Bessie hesitates for a moment before dipping her head, "Thank you sir," she says before disappearing out of the room. She sounded very grateful, and I'm sure she'll be asleep the moment her head hits the pillow. Lucky for her!

Daddy bounces Elba on his hip and coos to her, while I continue to whimper and cry on my bed. Before long he's finally gotten her to sleep, and once he's tucked her into the cradle he makes his way over to me. Sitting on the bed beside me, he places a hand on my back and begins rubbing it soothingly as I cry, hushing me.

"My poor darling girl," he murmurs, drawing me into his lap.

I bury my face in his shoulder and let out more sobs. "It hurts so much!" I tell him.

He wraps his arms around me, holding me gently and pressing a kiss to my temple. "I know, it'll be all right. I'm right here whenever you need me."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

As I continue to stifle my sobs, he sing softly under his breath and runs his fingers through my hair, which distracts me a bit. "What's that?" I ask him.

"What's what?"

"That song? I think I've heard Mummy singing it before too."

He laughs softly, "Ah yes, she would sing it. I'm not much of a singer, she probably does it better than I. It's an old English nursery rhyme."

I sniffle and wipe at my eyes, "How's it go? Sing it again."

"Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender green. When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen. Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so. Call up your men, dilly dilly, set them to work. Some to the plough, dilly dilly, some to the fork. Some to make hay, dilly dilly, some to cut corn. While you and I, dilly dilly, keep ourselves warm. Lavender's green, dilly dilly, lavender's blue. If you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you. Let the birds sing, dilly dilly, and the lambs play. We shall be safe, dilly dilly, out of harms ways. I love to dance, dilly dilly, I love to sing. When I am queen, dilly dilly, you will be king. Who told me so, dilly dilly, who told me so? I told myself, dilly dilly, I told me so."

His soothing song has almost lulled me to sleep, but my ribs still hurt and I still feel terrible. I look up at him, "That was a pretty song," I say.

He smiles faintly and wipes some of my tears off my cheeks, "Thank you darling. Do you feel a little better now?"

I nod, burying my face in his shoulder, "It still hurts though," I tell him, because it's the honest truth.

There's a moment of silence before he squeezes me gently. "You know, I think I might have an idea on how to cheer you up," he tells me softly.

Once again I look up at him and meet his eyes. "What?" I ask.

He smile broadens slightly as he tells me his brilliant idea, "How would you like to come to the shipyard with me tomorrow? I'll give you a tour, and I'll show you Titanic just like I promised!"

A trip to the shipyards! I forget my pain almost instantly in the excitement I feel building. "Really? Oh yes please I'll be on my best behavior and everything!"

He chuckles, "Good, it's settled then. But in that case I want you well rested for tomorrow. It's going to be a long day."

He tucks me into bed, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight Daddy," I say, turning over to try and fall asleep. My exhaustion from crying gets the better of me and I fall asleep hardly a moment after he bids me goodnight and shuts the door behind him.

The next morning mummy has Bessie dress me up in my prettiest dress and makes sure I look my very best. It's really early, but I'm not sleepy at all. I'm too excited! As I stand by the door and wait mummy gives me the 'finishing touches'. "Now Alice, you be a good girl and hold your father's hand the entire time won't you?"

"Yes mummy," I reply as she straightens my hat.

Daddy comes down the stairs, his bowler hat in hand. He smiles and pecks mummy on the cheek before turning to me. "Are you ready?"

I grin, "Yes sir!" I reply cheerfully.

He takes my hand and we wave goodbye to mummy before heading to the shipyard. When we get there I'm nearly bursting with anticipation. We enter the office building across the street from the shipyard, passing by large rooms full of tables and people. I peek into the rooms as we pass, curious and wanting to know everything that they're doing. I wonder if I could ever work in here someday, I'm not daunted by the fact I'm a girl. I'd work just as hard as all the boys! "What are those men doing?" I ask.

Mr. Andrews squeezes my hand and looks incredibly proud, "Drawing up blueprints for new ships." They're drawing designs for new ships? Interesting! As we continue walking down the corridor I continue to ask questions.

"Why are blueprints blue?"

"A chemical reaction from copying the original document turns the paper blue."

"What's a chemical reaction?"

"It's a rather complicated phenomenon. Perhaps you'll learn about it when you attend school."

"When'll that happen?"

"In a year or so, once you've caught up and learned how to read and write and do simple arithmetic."

"I can do simple arithmetic!"

"Can you now!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Fine then, what's 16 take away 8?"

"That's an easy one! It's 8 of course!"

"Aren't you a clever girl?"

We stop outside a large wooden door and Daddy pulls out a set of keys, unlocking the door and ushering me into the room. "This is my office," he says, taking his hat off and hanging it on the coat rack near the door. I look around the room, there's a pretty marble fireplace, fancy wooden paneling, and a large desk covered in paperwork.

A man suddenly enters the room and Daddy begins talking to him. I'm too busy looking at the papers on the desk to pay much mind to what they're talking about. I think the other man said something about someone being here today, someone important. Daddy lets out a sigh before thanking the man and showing him out. "Come along Alice, let's go for a tour of the shipyard now."

I take his hand and we leave his office, heading across the street to the shipyard. It smells funny, and there sure are a lot of men here. It's not anything I haven't seen before, if anything the atmosphere is exactly how I remember it. The only difference is I'm actually walking among the workers now, rather than hiding away from them. They all smile and say hello to Mr. Andrews and I as we pass through. Suddenly I spot it, the Titanic. The ship definitely looks a LOT different than the last time I saw it!

"What do you think?" he asks, I stand at the edge of the dry-dock, so I can take in the whole thing.

"It looks even grander than the last time I saw it. I can hardly imagine what it'll look like when it's finished. I can't wait til that day," I tell him.

He's absolutely beaming with pride, "I can't wait either," he says, winking at me. We head down to the base of the ship, and he begins showing me around and telling me all different parts of the ship. He tells me about rivets and propellers and all kinds of fancy terms. I don't really understand much of what he's talking about, it sounds rather complicated. But his enthusiasm makes it easy to listen and at least attempt to follow along with what he's saying.

Suddenly one of the workers calls down to us from a platform, asking Mr. Andrews to look at something. He places me near the base of the scaffolding, "You stay in this spot right here and don't move, all right?" he asks. Before I can even give my word he's turned and headed off and out of sight.

I stand alone, taking everything in. I notice something gleaming in the sun near the base of the ship and walk over to investigate it. These must be the rivets Daddy was telling me about. I pick one up, but accidentally knock the entire pile down and they spill everywhere. I quickly put the rivet back and try to act as though I hadn't done it, but it looks like someone noticed me.

A well-dressed man with a mustache who'd been walking by stops and stares at me. He scowls and begins approaching me, "What do you think you're doing here?" he asks, he sounds angry. I didn't mean to cause trouble it was an accident! I have no idea who this man even is, I've never seen him in my life! Is he in charge? He looks like he could be, his suit looks really expensive. What if he throws me out?

I'm scared, I want to find my Daddy! Not knowing what else to do, I decide to make a run for it. Much to my horror the man pursues me, and he seems to be a lot faster than I would have hoped. Now he must really think I was trespassing, but then again I'm not quite sure what he is thinking! All I can do is run for my life, and hope he doesn't catch me.

I still know this place like the back of my hand, and I take our chase all over the dry-dock. However the longer and harder I run, the more I hurt from the corset restricting my breathing and from my sore ribs. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, he hasn't slowed at all, if anything he's gaining on me.

He can't catch me though, he just can't! I can't let him! I feel terror similar to what I felt when I'd been caught on the scaffolding what seems like a lifetime ago. Only this time, I can actually run away! And run I do! I glance behind me to see if that man has given up yet. He's red in the face from screaming his head off after me, telling me to stop! The louder he yells it, the faster I run!

I'm so scared, where's Mr. Andrews? I feel as though I'm being chased by the devil himself! My eyes fill with tears in my panic and I can hardly see where I'm going. Blindly, I run right into something and crash to the ground, where the man apprehends me. He wrenches me up by the arm so I have to look up at him, and furiously yells about 'trespassing on White Star Line Property' or something like that. I'm so confused, and frightened, I want Daddy and I want to go home!

The man's likely about to call the police, what am I going to do? I can't go to jail! There are big scary men in there! Suddenly I hear a familiar voice, and the man releases my arm. "Ismay! What on earth do you think you're doing?" I hear my Daddy ask as he approaches us.

"This little ruffian was trespassing! I was apprehending her!" he replies indignantly. He looks confused as my Daddy bends down and picks me up, holding me on his hip and allowing me to cry into his shoulder.

"There there Alice, don't be frightened." I think I'm past being frightened, I cling to him as though my very life depends on it. I thought I'd never see him again! I don't want him out of my sight ever again! My sides and ribs hurt really badly, and I think I really, really want to go home now.

"Wait, this is YOUR child?" the other man asks, flabbergasted.

My father shifts me around a bit, I keep my face buried in his shoulder so I don't have to look at that horrible man who chased me.

The two men talk as we walk back to the office buildings. Mr. Andrews explains to the man who I am, before they launch into an entirely different conversation that I don't pay any attention to. We depart at the street and my father calls a cab. I guess we are going home early, and I feel even worse. I don't think Mr. Andrews is very happy about it. We enter the house quietly and immediately head upstairs to my room, where daddy sets me down on the bed and offers me a handkerchief.

"Calm down Alice, everything's all right. You did nothing wrong," he tells me, sitting beside me and rubbing circles in my back. I blow my nose into the handkerchief, but hold onto it for a little bit. I sniffle before meeting his eyes.

"Who was that man?" I ask him.

He brushes a stray curl away from my face, "His name is Mr. Ismay, he's chairman the White Star Line. He's the one who commissioned us to build Titanic. He was visiting the yard today to check on the progress of his ships. Titanic's sister ship the Olympic will be done in just a week or so, he was here to see it."

I wipe my eyes, "Why's he so scary?"

He actually laughs rather heartily at that, "I'm not sure, perhaps you'll ask him that tomorrow."

Tomorrow? I suddenly tense up, feeling frightened all over again. "Tomorrow?"

My father nods, growing more serious, "Yes of course, Mr. Ismay is taking us out tomorrow. He'd like to apologize for frightening you, and you will accept his apology politely, even if you don't want to."

I shake my head, "I don't want to! Please don't make me go back he scares me! He's going to chase me again and I can't run anymore! I don't wanna go to jail!"

Mr. Andrews ruffles my hair, "He won't chase you and you won't go to jail, I give you my word."

"You promise?" I ask, still feeling very unsure.

He crosses his heart, "Cross my heart, I won't let anything happen to you. I think you'll like Mr. Ismay, just give him a chance."

The next morning I feel jittery, and can hardly hold still while Bessie does my hair. Daddy takes my hand and we get in a cab, driving to the heart of Belfast. I don't say anything, I'm scared and I don't have anything to say anyhow. He squeezes my hand and smiles at me reassuringly as we pull up to our destination, before getting out and opening the door for me on my side. "Princess?"

We step out onto the sidewalk, and I spot the man, Mr. Ismay, standing outside a shop. Mr. Andrews leads me towards him, and I bravely only dig my heels in a little bit. The man bends to my level and smiles at me, holding his hand out, "I beg your pardon Miss Andrews, I'm terribly sorry for my behavior yesterday."

Mr. Andrews nudges me so I take Mr. Ismay's hand and shake it reluctantly, "I'm sorry for running away from you and I accept your apology. You may just call me Alice, sir," I reply politely. The two men lead me down the street and we enter a shop I've never seen or been inside before. What is this place? It smells really good.

We sit down at a table and I look around, feeling confused. Mr. Ismay and Daddy say a few things before Mr. Ismay stands and walks over to the counter. When he returns, he places a bowl of something in front of me. "What's this?" I ask him.

He and Daddy both have their own bowls in front of them. Mr. Andrews smiles, handing me a spoon, "Just try it, it's Mr. Ismay's treat." I take a spoonful of the brown substance and put it in my mouth. It's cold, but it's also sweet and sugary and tastes like the chocolate I've come to love so much. It's one of the greatest things I've ever tasted! Glancing up at the two men sitting with me, I smile as big as I can without looking too foolish. I'm not so afraid of Mr. Ismay anymore, I completely and totally forgive him.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! Just wanted to say thank you so SO much for reading, and thank you especially to my reviewer! You win a free virtual puppy. More virtual prizes to anyone who reviews! Seriously, I really love reviews. It's like Christmas and Birthdays and everything awesome all wrapped into one. Even if you don't like my story, (In that regard, please be constructive rather than critical in your review and I will still love you). **

**This story is actually completely written, but I'm only going to post a chapter a day. If there's any delay in that, I do apologize. I'm heading into finals week and might not have the time to proofread a chapter and post it. But I will certainly try! Please review, and once again, Thanks for Reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

It's July, and today is a very important day. At least, it's important to mummy. She's been preparing me for today since at least the end of May, and it's been a long and very annoying process. I'm not really looking forward to it, I mean, I guess I am a little bit, but I'm mostly nervous. Today I'm being officially presented to the big Andrews family, and all their rich important friends.

This morning Bessie tied my stays much tighter than usual, the tightest they've ever been. I feel worse than I did the first time I ever wore them, I thought I could hardly move or breathe then, now I most certainly can't! My dress is a beautiful shade of lavender though, with lace and ruffles and a satin ribbon around the waist tied in a perfect bow at the back. My hair's been done up all fancy with a matching bow too, and I think I look like a little princess.

We're in Comber, at the family home. There's more backyard and such for large gatherings. I've spent the past few days playing in the gardens, and I really like it here. Mr. Andrews takes me on long walks, with the family dog Laddie, who I think is just the greatest. He's great company when I'm outside, and didn't even tattle on me when I almost fell out of a big tree my first day here. Not that he needs to tattle, unfortunately I was found out yesterday afternoon. I blame it all on Elba.

I know that's mean of me to blame it on her, since she's only a baby. But if she hadn't gotten stung by a bee, she wouldn't have started crying, and if she hadn't cried Daddy wouldn't have come barreling out of the house like an angry mother bear before I could get out of the tree. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, he didn't quite come out like that. But he was the one to come check and see what the matter was, and he was very unhappy when he found us.

How she got stung, I'm not entirely sure. She's beginning to crawl around, and has to be watched all the time. Bessie's had her hands full with her lately, but she had to leave for a few days for some reason or another. Mummy and Daddy decided I was old enough to watch out for her. She hadn't caused any problems before yesterday, so I didn't mind. Usually she'd just sit on the blanket where they left her, playing with her toys, or with me, or even playing with Laddie. She really likes Laddie too! Yesterday she had some toys, and I figured since she was occupied it would be all right for me to climb. I could see the whole garden from up there so it wasn't like I was leaving her totally unsupervised.

Well, I must have been about halfway up the tree when she began crawling off. She saw some dandelions near the edge of the blanket that she wanted to look at, from what I could tell. I turned around for a moment to climb up another branch and suddenly she was wailing her little head off. I looked down to see what had happened, but couldn't see anything wrong. That was when Daddy came out, took one look around the garden, and in that moment looked angrier than I've ever seen him. I decided the safest place to be at that moment was in the tree, so I sat there and hid while he picked Elba up and carried her back in the house. I sat, and sat, and continued sitting in that tree until the sun began to set. No one came out for me, and in some ways I was glad. In others, I feared the worst. Had they decided they didn't want me anymore? I dreaded the thought.

Not long after dusk, as I sat in the tree shivering with wet cheeks and a sore bottom from sitting on a branch for so long, Daddy finally came out of the house. He came to the bottom of the tree and looked up at it, meeting my gaze steadily. "Alice, come down at once please. I must speak to you," he said, his voice somber. His expression was unreadable as I slowly began my descent, nearly slipping at the last branch. A glance down showed a flash of panic in his eyes, but as soon as I'd caught myself, it was gone.

As my feet touched the ground, I felt very foolish. I kept my eyes downcast as I stood in front of him, waiting for him to speak. It took all my strength to not tremble as I stood there, I'd never actually gotten in trouble before. What was he going to do? Would he hit me? Would he make me sleep outside? My old father used to do that to me.

"Alice, I am very disappointed in you. Leaving Elba unsupervised as you did was completely unacceptable. What if something serious had occurred? Being up in that tree you wouldn't have been able to respond in time, in all likelihood you would have fallen and seriously injured yourself."

I bobbed my head, feeling myself flush with shame. He was very right.

"When I ask you to watch Elba, I expect you to be a responsible and mature young lady and do as you're told."

Tears began to well in my eyes but I blinked them away as quickly as I could. "I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again," I replied quietly.

He paused for a moment, before answering in a gentler tone, "I expect that it won't. Now, are you quite all right? You gave me a bit of a fright just now."

I nodded solemnly, I was just fine. It was Elba I was worried about.

"Good. Now Alice, I won't scold you this time for climbing the trees. I know you're quite apt to climbing tall things," I smiled a little at that despite myself, "But please try to refrain from doing it in the future, for your mother's sake. It's not very ladylike, and if I recall correctly she has already told you once not to do it."

"Yes sir," I replied, feeling disappointed in myself. He held out his hand and I took it, a little hesitantly. "Aren't you going to punish me for being naughty?" I asked.

At that he actually smiled, "Why do you think I left you up in that tree for so long?" he asked. My eyes widened at the realization and he squeezed my hand, "Think nothing more of it darling, what's done is done. All we can do now is move forward. Now let's go inside, apologize to Elba, and have a quiet evening. You have a big day tomorrow after all." And as he'd said, that had been the end of it. This morning had been a new day, and so far yesterday's incident does indeed seem to be forgotten. I'm very glad!

As I wait for the festivities to start I sit and fan myself as best I can. It's unbearably hot today, and I would give anything to be in one of my lighter summer dresses rather than this formal one. The sun is bright and hot outside, which means Elba won't be joining us out there for the party. Bessie arrived early this morning, and she's going to watch her while we're all outside. I sit near the window and watch as people arrive, and the more that show up the more anxious I feel. What if I do something wrong?

Suddenly my father enters the room, he's wearing a nice suit today and I wonder how he looks so calm and collected, and not even a little bit sweaty! I imagine he must be at least a little hot! Mummy enters the room not long after him looking just as calm and pristine. She walks over to me, pulling me to my feet gently and taking my place on couch so she's sitting eye level with me. "You remember exactly what to do, right Alice?"

"Yes mummy, I'll be on my very best behavior!" I reply. She smiles at my answer and I know I've made her happy with it. I just hope I can live up to my word and truly do everything just like she taught me. Together, the three of us then head for the door. Mummy goes out first to begin socializing, I pause at the door, feeling a sudden wave of anxiety.

Mr. Andrews stops when I do, "What the matter?" he asks.

I look down, "What if they don't like me? I'm only a girl, not a princess," I say.

He kneels down in front of me, taking my hand, "And I'm only a shipbuilder. You're a princess to me, they'll adore you."

That makes me feel better, and I smile and nod to him. There are still butterflies in my stomach, fluttering like mad trying to escape. But with Mr. Andrews at my side, I feel as though I could do just about anything. He takes my hand and together we head out into the garden. All eyes are on us as he leads me, and I walk a little slower than usual so that I don't trip or fall and make a bad first impression.

Once we're in the group of people, Mr. and Mrs. Andrews introduce me to everyone. I smile politely and make sure to only speak if spoken to. Children are supposed to be seen and not heard as social gatherings, that's the rule. After about an hour or so, I end up sitting in a group circle of ladies, listening to them chat about silly things like Paris fashion and weddings and such. It's rather boring if I'm completely honest about it.

We're all fanning ourselves while we sit in the sun like fools, and the heat is starting to make my tummy upset. I feel a little lightheaded as well, maybe it's just from the corset though. I'm not really sure, should I say something about it? Who do I tell? Not mummy, and not these ladies, it would be rude to interrupt.

I scan the crowds for my father, and spot him talking to a group of several men. I shouldn't interrupt him either, so what should I do? Perhaps I should just head into the house myself, but is it rude to leave the party? The longer I sit in the sun, the worse I feel.

"Are you feeling all right honey? You're looking a bit pale," one of the ladies I'm with asks. She's Mr. Andrews' sister, which makes her my aunt. She seems nice enough, but I haven't spoken to her much so I don't know her that well.

I swallow, suddenly feeling really sick. "I don't feel very well, I'm very warm," I confess, looking across the group at my mother to see if that was an appropriate thing to say. My vision starts to go a little dark around the edges and my mother rises from her seat, crossing over to me. I can't remember what happens next. One minute I was sitting in the garden, the next I'm lying on the sofa in the sitting room of the house.

Mummy is fanning me, looking more worried than I've ever seen her. Daddy is kneeling next to me, a glass of ice water in his hand. When he notices I'm awake he tips my head up and tries to get me to drink the water. At first I refuse, confused at where I am and what's going on, but the cold water feels nice against my lips and I decide the best thing to do would be to take a few sips. I feel a bit better after that, and he places the glass down on the table before brushing back my hair.

"What happened?" I ask, embarrassed and confused.

The pair of them hush me, before daddy answers, "You fainted in the garden sweetheart, you were overheating."

Suddenly I feel myself begin to panic. I fainted? Oh no that must have been terribly rude what must those people think of me now? I ruined everything! Tears well in my eyes and mummy stops fanning me for a moment in order to wipe them away, "Oh Alice don't cry dear, you did nothing wrong. These things happen, they understand," she assures me.

"Really?" I ask. They both nod and I instantly feel a lot better. After a while daddy helps me sit up and mummy leaves to go back out to the party. I still feel bad about what happened, and sit glumly on the sofa in my pretty dress at a total loss on what to do.

Mr. Andrews leaves for a brief moment, and returns with a strangely colored ice cube on a stick. He hands it to me, "Eat this, you'll feel much better," he instructs me. He has one for himself too, differently colored than mine. I place the cube in my mouth, woah! This tastes like orange juice! But it's cold! I suck on the ice until it all melts.

"What's that called?" I ask, licking my sticky fingers.

He grabs a handkerchief and wipes my hands, "They're called ice lollies, and it's just frozen juice really. They're good on hot days like today."

We sit in silence for a moment before I sigh, "Daddy, will I ever fit in with those people outside?"

"Of course you will Alice! You're a beautiful and charming young lady!" he replies, as if the answer should have been obvious. It doesn't seem all that obvious to me though. How could it be that simple? I'm a peasant girl, my own family didn't even want me. They said I was a mistake. I can't read, I can't write, I can't do anything. I know I've been improving these past several months according to mother but it doesn't feel like it. I still can't read simple books. Most kids my age are reading the Wizard of Oz and such, but I can't even read a nursery rhyme!

The rest of the afternoon I stay inside with Mr. Andrews. We play on the floor of the sitting room with my dolls and little tin figurines, taking breaks to eat more ice lollies. Finally the gathering begins to move inside, and we all crowd into the dining room for dinner. I don't say anything, this'll be the only occasion I even get to eat with the grown-ups. Usually for gatherings I have to eat with Elba and Bessie.

Little do I know that evening, as I sit on the windowsill of the nursery watching the fireflies dance outside, that in a very short span of time I will be dining with some of the richest and most famous people in the whole entire world. It's something most girls dream of doing, but I wasn't going to be there for the people. I was going to be there for the ship my daddy built. Titanic.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm looking at this right now" I say as I stand on the dock, my fingers interlocked with Mr. Andrews'. It has been about 2 years since I was climbing platforms on the big ship, and in those two years my world has totally changed. I still feel like Cinderella, like this is a fairy tale or some kind of dream that I'll wake up from. But it isn't! It's all real, I'm really standing here looking at this ship, with the man who designed it.

I'm so proud of Mr. Andrews. Not only did he design and build Titanic, the largest ship in the world, but he is the best father a girl could ever ask for, kind, gentle, and understanding. Whenever I have a problem, I know he'll be there to help me through it!

Mrs. Andrews is still trying to teach me how to be a lady. Luckily for the both of us, we're quite patient, so the long lessons about how to behave at tea and things of that nature go by seemingly quick. I learn most things pretty quick, and I think I can pass off for a real lady now. I've improved leaps and bounds from the party last summer apparently. I still don't know how to read though, I've been trying my hardest I really have. I don't know what it is, it just doesn't come easily to me. Mummy really wanted me in school by now but, she's decided to wait until next year.

Today I was given a break from my lessons to accompany my father to see Titanic, completed and ready to set sail. He smiles brightly down at me, an excited gleam in his eyes, "I'm glad you still like her, after all this time. I've been speaking with your mother, and she and I have both agreed that you're ready to go out now. You're going to accompany me on Titanic's maiden voyage," he tells me. I get to SAIL on Titanic? Sure sleeping under her was fun, and watching her be built was pretty fun too, but I wonder what she looks like inside!

I hug him tightly, beyond words at this announcement and he returns the embrace, "I'm glad you're happy, but come along now. There are a few things I have to check over before her trials tomorrow," he tells me.

We begin making our way down to the grand ship. But the entire time I can't help but think of how far I've come. One minute I'm a tramp, stealing leftover sandwiches and parading around as a boy, and now here I am today! Going to sail on the most luxurious ship in the world, a lady in first class, with the nicest man to ever walk the face of the earth. I've been so lucky, I hope my luck doesn't run out on me anytime soon.

The ship looks even bigger on the inside than on the outside! And it's not even completely done yet! We're joined by Mr. Ismay as we tour around the ship. He's like my grumpy uncle, and I see him almost all the time now when I go out with daddy. I always feel just a touch uneasy when he's around. I'm not sure why, because he's always nice to me. Maybe it's because he reminds me ever so slightly of my father who threw me out, maybe it was that incident with being chased around the shipyard. I know I forgave him and all but, I still haven't forgotten. I cling onto daddy's arm a little tighter at the thought. He seems to take notice and pats my hand gently to reassure me.

As we're walking Mr. Ismay begins talking about the lifeboats, "They're a waste of space Thomas! I don't understand why you must have them here cluttering the deck," he says bitterly, rapping his cane against one of them for emphasis.

I take the opportunity to speak up, "Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?"

This causes Mr. Ismay to laugh, "This ship cannot sink!" he says, as though it's supposed to be common knowledge. With that he turns and walks down the deck ahead of us.

We follow slowly behind and Mr. Andrews whispers in my ear, "Don't worry darling, I've built a good ship," he tells me. I believe every word he says to me, he says he built a good ship and I believe it! I mean, just look at it!

After touring the entire ship we head home, where Mrs. Andrews is waiting for us with dinner on the table. This will be the last meal we eat together as a family, for tomorrow we leave for the trip. Mrs. Andrews smiles at me, "Have you decided what you're bringing with you on the ship Alice?" she asks.

I have been thinking actually, thinking of which dresses to bring. Yet I'm still not very sure about what to wear for what. Bessie actually got a little annoyed with me because she had to put back all the dresses I pulled out of my closet, which was, well, all of them. I smile sheepishly, "Actually, I could use a little help deciding what to bring," I tell her.

She takes a little bite of food, chewing and swallowing it daintily, before answering me, "After dinner we'll go and have a look. Is that all right?" she asks. I nod and the rest of dinner is a fairly relaxed event, Mr. Andrews talking most of the time about how pleased he is with Titanic. He sure is proud of that ship, and I don't blame him! There's most certainly no other ship like it in the entire world!

Once dinner is finished Mrs. Andrews and I go upstairs to my bedroom. I throw a suitcase onto the bed as she rummages through my closet, selecting gown after gown after gown. She separates the dresses into a few different piles before turning to me, "Pick your favorites from each pile." I do as she says and she goes ahead and picks just about everything else, from shoes to jewelry, and then other things like underwear, stays, and nightgowns. I watch in confusion as she manages to put so many things together. I remember when I only ever had one dress as a time, usually for long periods of time, until it was busting at the seams due to being too small and worn. And shoes? Ha! I hardly ever got the pleasure. That seems like a lifetime ago now.

Mummy finishes packing the suitcase and her eyes light up, "I have one last thing for you!" she says. She practically runs out of the room and then returns with something behind her back, "Hold out your hands and close your eyes" she instructs. I raise an eyebrow but finally do as she says, closing my eyes and holding out my hands. "No peeking!" she tells me, I try hard to hold back a giggle and she places something in my hands.

"All right, you can open them now," she says. I open my eyes and look down to see a small silver necklace, with a fascinating pendent on it! It looks as though it's made of lace, and yet it's not! It's silver! How to they make it look like that, it must take them hours! And working that long must make it very expensive! I've never held something so pretty in my hands before, aside from that sandwich from forever ago. This is a real grown-up necklace too!

"Thank you! It's beautiful!" I tell Mrs. Andrews, almost unable to find the words.

She smiles, "I thought you might like it. You can wear it to dinner one night," she tells me. I nod, I'm not going to simply wear it for dinner though. I'm going to wear this all the time! I want everyone on that big ship to see it and admire how pretty it is! "Just make sure not to lose it, all right?" Once again, I nod affirmatively. I won't let it out of my sight!

**A/N: Just a note, 'ice lollies' weren't officially invented until 1923, but the concept of freezing juice during the summer to stay cool isn't exactly rocket science, at least to me. I mean, they had ice cream and stuff. So, Mr. Andrews kinda sorta invented ice lollies in this story but not really. Wizard of Oz was a thing by then though, at least the book was. Poor Alice, I'm sure she'll read it someday!**

**Elba getting stung was also inspired by one of my favorite writers on fanfiction, CatalynMJ88. Her story "In the Same Boat" is absolutely fabulous, and "Your Tommie" is like my favorite Titanic story ever. I definitely recommend checking her out! She's fabulous!**

**Also shout-out to Aloha4Life for being my sole reviewer on this adventure so far. You're awesome! Unlimited virtual cupcakes for you!**

**THANK YOU for reading, and please review! I love ya all! To the Titanic we go!**


	5. Chapter 5

Sleep doesn't come easily, I'm much too excited! I mean, America, Titanic, adventure awaits! I wonder what's in America? I heard there's a giant statue in the harbor, but what else could be there? Everyone says it's going to be amazing, but what could be there that would make it so grand? Are the streets paved with gold? Is the weather nice all the time? Is everyone charming and kind? I can only imagine what could possibly be in that country that makes it so famous.

But eventually I do fall asleep, and I'm awoken the next morning by my father. I swear my eyes were only closed for a few minutes! It must be so early in the morning! I feel him shaking my shoulder, calling me gently. I snuggle deeper into the pillows, barely registering the real world, his voice sounds so far away, perhaps I'm dreaming. "Alice darling, you have to get up." What is he talking about? Can't he see I'm preoccupied?

I'm pretty bad when it comes to sleeping, after sleeping on the cold ground under a cold iron ship, a bed becomes your best friend. I absolutely adore mine! It's so warm and soft and comfortable! Every morning it's a challenge to convince myself to get up and out of it.

"Darling we're going to be late for boarding," he tells me.

Boarding, boarding, OH RIGHT! The ship! My eyes snap open and I sit up, practically flying out of the bed and pushing my daddy out the door, "I'm coming I'm coming!" I tell him. Geez why didn't he just say that in the first place?

He seems amused as I usher him towards the door, but before I can get him out he picks up my suitcase, "Calm down Alice. Don't get too excited!" he tries to tell me as I finally get him into the hallway and practically slam the door behind him.

Not a moment later I reopen the door, finding him still standing there. I giggle as our eyes meet, "Can you please send Bessie?" I ask him.

He pretends to think it over, "Well I don't know, maybe you should get her yourself. Since you're such a big girl now, and besides, she might be sleeping," he tells me.

I roll my eyes, "Daddy she's been up for a while!" I don't have any idea when Bessie gets up, but somehow she always manages to get up long before me! I've even tried to get up at crazy hours in the morning to beat her, she's always awake before me! Maybe she doesn't sleep, like a vampire! That could be it.

She comes up the stairs at that moment and smiles, "I'm here to tend you now Alice." She turns to daddy, "Elba's fussing downstairs, I think Mrs. Andrews would like your help with her," she tells him. He ruffles my hair affectionately before taking my suitcase downstairs. Bessie pulls me back into my room and helps me change. As she ties my blonde hair with a bow she begins speaking, "Are you excited about your trip Alice?"

I want to nod, but with my hair in her hands I decide not to. I don't want to give her a hard time since it's so early and I know we're in a bit of a rush. "Oh yes Bessie! It's going to be so grand! I can hardly wait! There's going to be so many people, and so many things to see and do! It's a dream come true!" I tell her excitedly.

Bessie laughs lightly, "I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. Now hurry along downstairs and eat your breakfast. We don't want Mr. Andrews to be late this morning!"

I jump up and run downstairs, knowingly dodging the maids as I skid into the dining room. Mummy smiles at me as I take my seat beside her, "Alice, don't you look darling in that pink dress!" she says. As I begin eating she starts going over what's expected of me. "Now you remember everything I taught you. Sit up straight, elbows off the table, don't talk with your mouth full." That's all the easy parts of being a first class lady! I swallow a mouthful of toast before answering her, "I remember Mummy, don't worry I'll make you and Daddy proud."

"I'm sure you will," Mr. Andrews chimes in as he sips his coffee and shows Elba a picture of Titanic in the newspaper. The 2 year old reaches out curiously with her tiny hands towards the paper. I wonder what she thinks of the big ship. Of course, she's never seen it in person, I hope one day she's able to though. We could both be on Titanic together, it would be so much fun! She's too young to go with us now though, Mr. Andrews says she wouldn't have any fun on the trip and mummy hates traveling anyway.

I pick her up out of her high chair and sit down, setting her on my lap, "Elba I'm going to sail to America! On a ship that Daddy built! Isn't that exciting?" I ask her.

She claps her hands cheerfully, "Awi sail!" she says.

I smile and run a hand through her hair, I won't get to see her again for a while. Though to be honest, I won't miss sharing a room with her. "And when I get back you better be able to say Alice," I remind her teasingly. She giggles and begins lightly tugging on a lose strand of my hair, I don't think she even understands what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fact that she can say 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' but can't say my name! She can even say Mr. Ismay's name! Well, almost, I was telling her about Mr. Ismay one day and she yelled 'Emay' when she saw a picture of him in the newspaper. She's a smart girl, little Elba! As smart as she is though, I'm only Awi to her, and I have no idea why Alice is so hard to say.

Suddenly we hear a knock on the door and Mr. Andrews rises, peaking out the window, "There's the cab. Come along Alice, time to go," he tells me.

Mummy takes Elba from me as I stand and follow my father outside. Before I leave though I turn and hug mummy goodbye, and kiss Elba on the cheek, "Bye Bye Elba, goodbye mummy! When I get to America the first thing I'll do is write to you! I promise!" I call.

Elba suddenly grabs my dress sleeve, her eyes growing watery, "Awi no! Don't go!"

I smile and kiss her cheek, "Don't worry Elba, I'll be back soon. This isn't goodbye forever."

She is still unhappy, but mummy has her let me go and Elba waves goodbye as she cries, "Bye-bye Awi!"

I get into the horse-drawn cab and wait patiently as Mr. Andrews kisses his wife and daughter goodbye. Elba pulls the same thing with him as she did with me, grabbing onto him and not letting him go. He looks slightly anxious, since we're running behind, but he still takes the time to make sure he leaves Elba happy. He kisses her all over her face and nuzzles her until she elicits a giggle, before handing her back to mummy and bidding them a final farewell.

He climbs into the carriage and sits beside me, letting out a small sigh that is barely audible. When the cab starts rolling I look up at him with the biggest smile on my face, "Are you as excited as I am?" I ask him.

He smiles, "That depends, how excited are you?" he asks me.

He has no idea how hard it is for me to contain my excitement right at this moment! I don't know if I can even explain to him how excited I am, it's all so much and we haven't even gotten to the dock yet! I feel like a princess, I'm even riding in a horse-drawn cab! "I feel like I'm about to burst!" I tell him, but that's pretty much the understatement of the century.

"I'll tell you a secret" he says, lowering his voice, "I'm definitely as excited as you are," he whispers, causing me to giggle. The cab pulls to a stop and Mr. Andrews gets out first, before coming to my side, taking my hand, and helping me out. I look up at the big ship and have to completely restrain myself from jumping up and down even though I really, really want to. Just look at it! All painted and shiny looking! And I thought she looked amazing before!

Mr. Andrews and I get on the boat with the rest of the crew, which thankfully means we get to bypass all the dumb inspections that people will have to go through later on. Well, I suppose they aren't dumb, but I certainly don't want to have to go through them! When I was recovering from my injuries that doctor poking and prodding me was enough to make me hate doctors with a passion. If I see one on the street, when my daddy's not looking I stick my tongue out at them and make faces. What kind of person makes a living off torturing people? Even if they did help me get better, I still don't like them!

We're joined by a group of other men from the shipyard. They're called the "guarantee group" I think, though I'm not entirely sure what they're guaranteeing, or why so many of them need to come to guarantee it. If it's the ship they're trying to guarantee, I'm pretty sure even I can tell you that it works, and that it works really, really well. It's the biggest ship in the world, what more needs to be guaranteed?

The workers from the shipyard all wave us off as we pull away to begin Titanic's sea trials. I'm not exactly sure what sea trials are, daddy tells me they're a sort of test that ships need to go through before they set sail with passengers. There are many crewmen running around doing various tasks as the test begins, and I follow daddy as best I can as he rushes about making sure everything's working. Boilers have to be checked, propellers have to be checked, everything that makes the ship works has to be checked. That's all well and good, however after running back and forth and back and forth all morning, I start to get tired.

"Daddy, how much longer do we have to run about?" I ask as we take a short break for lunch. I'd run out of breath hours ago, but had still trailed after Mr. Andrews as best I could. I didn't want to complain when he was busy and had work to do.

He glances down at me, he'd been writing in his notebook. "A while yet I'm afraid, are you tired?" I nod and he sighs, rather exasperated. "I'm afraid I can't stop, there's too much work to be done. You're a responsible girl Alice, and I trust you. You may find a place on the ship to occupy your time, just keep yourself out of the way of the crew. Fair?"

I nod and smile, "Fair. Thank you!" With that, I turn and leave him to do his work. As the ship completes its sea trials, I decide the best view would be the bow of the ship. As I step to the very point, I must confess it's a little daunting just how high up it is. The view is outstanding though! Belfast is just barely visible on the horizon, and the ship plows through the waves easily like a knife cutting through butter. It's almost as though we're gliding over the water rather than sailing on it.

The breeze in my face and the salty spray that occasionally mists me in the face is the greatest feeling in the world. I can't imagine anything much more exciting than this, it's like flying! The wind blowing my hair makes me truly feel the urge to hold my arms out like a baby bird spreading its wings and taking flight for the first time. A view fit for a princess, or better yet a queen. It's absolutely breathtaking.

Perhaps I could be captain someday, I certainly feel like captain now. Standing at the head of the ship, with nothing but the open water and blue skies ahead of me. Imagine me a captain of anything, let alone the largest and grandest ship in the whole entire world! And the best part? No other girls will stand where I stand now, since this part of the ship is crew members only. I know just how special it is that I can stand here, front and center as Titanic completes her very first trip ever, and passes the sea trials with no problems at all.

As we pull back into Belfast for a brief rest, the sun beginning to set on Belfast lough, Mr. Andrews finds me. "Quite a view isn't it?" he asks, stepping alongside me and leaning against the rail. I nod eagerly at him before looking out towards Belfast. Lights are beginning to come on as the sun lazily sinks into the sea, and they reflect on the water in the most beautiful way.

"This is the last time we'll be looking at home for a while, huh?" I ask.

He nods, before placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, "Don't fret Alice, we'll soon lay eyes on it again. For now though, adventure awaits." He holds out his hand for me to take and I grab it, allowing him to lead me back inside. He stops to converse with some crewman, and some of the Harland and Wolff staff that won't be coming to Southampton with us, but otherwise he seems to be taking a break from writing in his notebook and doing work. Perhaps, if I'm lucky, he might even be done for the day.

I stay on Mr. Andrews' arm as we finally head to our stateroom for the evening. While we walk through the corridors, I'm keeping track of everything I see. I'm going to go exploring on this trip! I've learned the outside of this ship by heart, I want to know the inside of the ship just as well! And besides, it'll be my first time going off on my own in two years! Mr. and Mrs. Andrews have made it clear that I never go anywhere unless they're with me. I think they are secretly worried I'll run off or something, but why would I want to do a thing like that? They're so nice to me! They're my family and I love them.

Wow! Our stateroom is so pretty! The minute daddy opens the door I am in the room, examining each little detail from the floor to the wood paneling. I want to remember everything! Who cares about unpacking look at all the stuff in this room! Ok, so maybe there isn't that much in the room, but there certainly is more than I've ever had before in my life. This stateroom is nicer than my entire old house with my sick mother and cruel father. I need to stop thinking about my old life now, is it wrong to not think about it though? No! No it's not wrong! I gotta stop thinking about it!

"Daddy, what are we gonna do first?" I ask him excitedly once I'm finished examining the room.

He chuckles, "Well you should unpack your suitcase, and then go to sleep," he tells me.

Awwww but that's so boring! We're going to England and that's all he plans for us to do tonight? He sits at his desk and begins to write, and I realize that he wasn't even joking, he was quite serious. Sighing and feeling slightly disappointed, I head into my room to begin unpacking my suitcase as best I can.

I hang up the dresses in no particular order, just whatever order they come out in. I have to pull a stool over in order to reach where they're supposed to be hung. I wish I weren't so short, if I could only grow just an inch, or two! That'd be just wonderful! Then I wouldn't look so little when I'm actually 12 whole years old.

The two of us eat dinner in the stateroom together quietly. Tomorrow daddy's gonna have a lot of work to do, which means I'm going to be stuck by myself a bit. I think I might explore a little more, I saw some rooms when Daddy was giving me a tour that I think I'd like to investigate a little more closely.

Once I finish unpacking, we eat a quiet dinner in the stateroom together. I'm beginning to feel slightly tired from the day's events, but not tired enough to want to go to sleep just yet. I'm too excited! When I wake up tomorrow, we're going to be in Southampton!

When dinner finishes daddy sits at his desk and begins looking at some paperwork, while I sit on the floor and play with the doll and stuffed bear I got on my first Christmas. Suddenly the clock above our fireplace chimes, "You should be going to bed Alice, it's getting very late," daddy tells me gently as I yawn. I don't care if it's lady like, stopping a yawn is hard! I'm struck with a thought as I stand to go into my bedroom, how am I supposed to get out of this corset?

No really! Bessie or mummy always gets it off for me! Should I ask Daddy? What if he doesn't know how to do it? But I don't really want to sleep in this corset, or this dress. And my hair! How am I supposed to reach up to get the bow out? Mr. Andrews raises an eyebrow, "Is something on your mind?" he asks me.

I swallow, should I tell him? "Daddy, I um, I need help," I tell him. He gives me another look and I point at my stomach.

After a moment his face lights up in realization, "Oh! Yes, I forgot all about that. Don't fret Alice, I'll help you this week. Once we set sail, a maid will come and do it."

Wait a minute, a maid? Like some random stranger? I don't want to undress in front of some stranger! I'd rather daddy did it the whole time, but I guess he's busy. I pick up my toys and head into the bedroom, and begin getting ready for bed. Daddy's not quite as gentle as Bessie in getting my stays off, which makes me doubt his ability to put them back on tomorrow, but he's careful as he helps me into my nightgown and tucks me into bed. I fall asleep almost the instant my head hits the pillow.

The next morning we're in Southampton. Daddy wakes me up early to get dressed, since he has some things to do. He gets me in my chemise and stays before going to choose an outfit. The two of us stare into my closet of dresses, and he looks rather bewildered. "So, which one do you want to wear?"

"I don't know, which one do you want me to wear?" I ask him, "Bessie usually picks."

He pushes through the dresses and examines each one, his brow furrowing. "I can never actually tell with these dresses. Does this look like a proper day dress to you? Or is it an evening dress?" he asks.

"Um, I don't know either."

We both burst into a fit of giggles, "Well I don't know! What color do you want to wear?"

"What's your favorite color daddy?"

"Alice! I have to go check the boilers and meet with the Captain!" Mr. Andrews says, trying to be stern but laughing, "Please just help me!"

"Blue goes nicely with my eyes, mummy said so."

"There are 5 blue dresses in here!"

I hide my face in my hands to try and stop my giggling, but I can't help it. Choosing dresses is so difficult! I really wish Bessie could have come on this trip with us! Finally Daddy pulls a dress out, and I can tell it actually is a day dress. It's one I usually like to play outside in. "You're wearing this one and that's final!"

Once I'm dressed for the day, he simply brushes my hair without bothering to tie it with a bow or anything. "You'll be fine for a week with your hair down, though you may look like a little wild child."

Even though yesterday I was just planning to wander the ship alone, when I'm suddenly struck with the chance to be alone, I'm afraid. "Can I come see the Captain with you? Please! I'll be very good and I won't get in the way, I promise!" I tell him.

He nods, holding out his hand for me to take, "All right, I suppose you can meet the captain now," he replies.

As we walk down the hallway I begin asking every question that pops into my head. I don't know why I suddenly feel compelled to do this, but I do! Maybe it's the excitement of being on this ship! Or maybe I'm nervous, it couldn't be that though. What's there to be nervous about?

Mr. Andrews is patient as he answers every question I ask him, "What's the Captain's name?"

"Smith."

"How old is he?"

"62."

He cuts me off, "Darling, don't ask rude questions. I know you've a very curious mind, but please try to refrain from asking anything inappropriate," he reminds me. Oh yes, the age thing, I suppose that isn't any of my business. But the question just popped into my head and I had to ask. I look down, slightly embarrassed at being in trouble already. I want to be a good girl, honestly I do! I'll just have to try a little harder! I decide to stay quiet until we reach our destination.

There was a boy I met once on my travels, before I reached Titanic's dry-dock, by the name of Alexander. He was a funny boy, rather tall and thin as a rail, the same age as me with dark hair and tan skin. He was playing in a creek with his two older sisters. I had to cross the creek in order to continue my journey, and the three of them saw me crossing and came up to me, asking me where I was going. I told them about the ship and the boy laughed, "Did you know ship captains only drink tea the entire journey? They don't do anything else. They just sit and drink tea, with lemon!" I thought that seemed silly, wouldn't the captain be too busy giving orders and such to drink tea?

And yet that is exactly how we meet the Captain. He's sitting drinking morning tea with lemon! I can hardly believe my eyes! Wouldn't I love to tell those siblings that they were right all along! Daddy and I join him and I'm introduced, the captain smiles at me before diving into a discussion about the ship with my father. As the men talk I quietly sip my own tea and take a look around. Right now the room is empty except for us. Titanic's maiden voyage isn't for another few days, and most of the crew hasn't even come aboard yet. We'll be staying in England while we wait. I'm excited for that I guess, I've never been to England but it's not, you know, America.

I sit as quietly as I can, but eventually I can't help but fidget a little bit. It's so boring sitting here, when there's so much we could be doing right now. I mean, there are so many places on this ship I haven't been yet! It's like a whole city itself! I want to see it all! Every last corner of it! Finally Mr. Andrews stands up, and I stand with him quickly. First we have to check the boilers, and then, it's time to go see Southampton. I wonder what it's like, perhaps it's like home. Ireland is governed by England from what I've been told, so it would make sense that it should look the same. But there's only one way to find out for sure, and that's to go have a look!

**A/N: This is a public service announcement from your author. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY REVIEW! Also thank you lovely people for reading. That is all. **


	6. Chapter 6

In Southampton there are a lot of people standing around waiting to see Titanic. They all stare up at the ship in wonder, and I can't help but smile at them as my father and I walk down the gangplank together. We only get to go into the city today, since Daddy has to work the rest of the time we're here. I think I'm going to rather like having full run of the ship until our departure.

As we walk past shops, I see lots of interesting people and things. I feel like if I blink I'll miss something! I hold Mr. Andrews' hand tightly as we walk, because I would hate to get lost in a place like this. I'd probably never see my family again if we got separated!

We pass by a toy store and I pause as I see something in the window. There's a beautiful rocking horse there, grey with pretty dapples and a silky looking mane and tail. Mr. Andrews chuckles, "Alice darling, you already have a rocking horse," he tells me.

"I know, I just think that one's pretty too. The bear in the window is cute too!" I tell him.

He smiles and ruffles my hair, "Well I'll tell you what. If you're a very well behaved little girl this week while I'm helping the crew, I'll buy you a present before we set sail. Does that sound fair?" he asks.

I nod immediately, "Oh yes sir! That sounds more than fair!"

We continue to walk, and eventually find ourselves in a park. We sit down on a bench and watch a group of children playing. Other than them, there isn't really anyone around here at all, it's very quiet.

"Would you care to join them Alice? I don't mind sitting here and enjoying the sunshine for a while."

"No thank you sir, I'd rather stay with you."

He shrugs, "Suit yourself." We sit together in silence for a while, just enjoying the peace and quiet. I'm watching the kids play a game of baseball across the park, and in many ways I do wish I could join them. Yet, I'd rather stay with Mr. Andrews too. I'm a little too scared to go talk to them, I haven't met many children. I would hardly know what to say to some. Do you just ask to join in their game? My window of opportunity closes not long after that, as the children pack up and leave Daddy and me alone in the park.

"Darling, I have a question for you," Daddy suddenly says, breaking the silence.

I turn and look up at him, "Yes Daddy?"

"Did you really want to play with those children?"

I look away from him, before nodding. "A little, but I wouldn't really know how to do it. Besides, I don't know how to play baseball, I probably wouldn't even be able to hit the ball."

He nudges me, "Oh, don't say that. I'm sure you'd be an excellent hitter. You certainly throw well enough to be good at sports." He pauses for a moment before standing and walking a short distance away, bending down in the gravel path, he picks up some of the larger stones. What's he up to? Once he has a pocketful of rocks, he walks over to one of the trees and examines the branches, breaking off a rather straight looking one.

"Come here my darling girl, I'll teach you how to hit," he says, taking my hand and leading me out to where the children had been playing earlier. He pulls out a rock, tosses it into the air, and with a mighty swing hits it clear across the park. He hands the stick to me, "Here, now, this is your bat. Grip it here at the very bottom, keep your hands together. Now stand sideways to your pitcher, feet shoulder width apart. There, that's good! Now, keep your eye on the ball, that's the key!"

He walks a few feet away and pulls out another rock, he tosses it underhandedly to me so that it makes a big arch in the air. I watch it as it comes, and when it nears me I swing the stick as hard as I can. The rock lands on the ground directly in front of me and I sag in disappointment. I completely and utterly missed it, I probably wasn't even close! "Don't be discouraged darling, keep trying."

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Mummy wouldn't like this, I don't think it's very lady-like," I tell him.

"Mummy isn't here," Mr. Andrew replies with a grin, winking at me with a mischievous spark in his eyes. "Besides, we're doing no wrong! Just a couple pals playing baseball," he says. I get back into position, tapping the tip of my stick on the ground like I watched some of the children do earlier while they were hitting. Daddy throws 5 more rocks at me before I manage to actually hit one, and when I do it doesn't go very far. Still, Daddy beams proudly at me as my stick makes contact with the rock, "Well done Alice! That was a great hit!"

I can't help but smile and feel really excited too. I did it! I jump up and down in my excitement, "I did it!" I say happily. I can hardly believe it! "Let me try again! I wanna see how far I can hit it!"

We stay in the park hitting rocks together until the sun begins to set. I didn't hit the rock nearly as far as Daddy, but I hit it pretty far! "Alice darling, it's getting close to dinner time. We should head back to the docks," he tells me.

I'm disappointed that we can't stay out longer, I'm having such a good time! "Awwww but this is such fun! Just five more minutes pretty please?" I ask, walking over to him and making the cutest face I can.

He smiles and laughs at that, "You asked that 15 minutes ago," he tells me. Did I? It only felt like five minutes I swear it did! He takes my hand and we begin walking out of the park and heading back to the Titanic. Many of the shops have closed by now and the streets are very quiet. "Did you enjoy that Alice?"

"Yes daddy, I wish we could do that more often," I reply.

He squeezes my hand, "I know, me too. I don't spend nearly enough time with you and Elba. When we get home, we'll go to Comber and have a whole day just you and me. I'll teach you how to ride a pony, I know you've been wanting to. You'd like that wouldn't you?"

Oh would I! "You really mean it?"

"Of course! I know a grand farm with the prettiest hunting ponies you've ever seen."

"Hey Daddy?"

"Yes Alice?"

"Are we really pals?" I ask him.

He looks down at me, slightly surprised, before smiling, "Yes Alice, I'd say we're great pals wouldn't you?" When I nod he chuckles, nudging me playfully "And pals must stick together! So, today will be our little secret, Mummy doesn't have to know."

I smile and skip all the way back to the ship and up the gangplank. The two of us eat dinner in our stateroom together. Tomorrow daddy's gonna have a lot of work to do, which means I'm going to be stuck by myself a bit. I think I might explore a little more, I saw some rooms when Daddy was giving me a tour that I think I'd like to investigate a little more closely.

The next morning is much the same as the previous one. Daddy comes in at some early hour and we stare at my closet in even more puzzlement trying to decide what dress I should wear. I don't think I've ever seen him so indecisive about anything, he's always so sure of himself. He knows everything, well, he did know everything, until today. This isn't really an important thing though, I'll let it slide because I don't know either and I'm a girl.

Finally dressed, he gives me a kiss and a pat on the head before telling me to have a nice day and leaving. The sun has hardly even risen yet, and I feel as though I want to go back to sleep. But I can't, because I'm already awake! I guess that's just more time to explore the ship, and find some breakfast in the meantime!

As I wander around the ship, I bump into grumpy Mr. Ismay. He isn't very grumpy today though! He's absolutely bursting with energy and pride and it's so strange that I barely recognize him. "Alice! What a pleasure to see you. Are you enjoying your morning?"

"Yes sir," I reply simply, caught off-guard. He's not alone either, he's accompanied by a woman and three children. Well, I say children, one of them is more a young man, and I'm embarrassed to admit, he's a rather handsome one too. He meets my gaze and I flush slightly, feeling rather bashful.

"Allow me to introduce my wife and three children, Thomas, Evelyn, and George." Oh, so that handsome older boy's named Thomas. Perhaps all men named Thomas are handsome, I rather think my daddy is handsome for his age as well and his name is Thomas too!

Evelyn is a few years older than me, maybe 15 or so. She is polite and friendly to me as she shakes my hand. George is the youngest, he's only two years younger than me though. Poor kid, he probably doesn't get to have much fun with Mr. Ismay for a daddy.

Mr. Ismay invites me to join him on their little tour, and I decide to go along with them. I have nothing better to do, so why not? As he leads us around the deck and boasts about all the stuff my daddy built, I end up talking to George.

"So Mr. Ismay's your father?"

"Yes," he replies, a little shyly. I'm surprised at that, Mr. Ismay is so loud and boisterous I'd expect his son to be the same way.

"Oh, Mr. Andrews is my father, he's the one who built this ship."

The boy's eyes light up a bit at that, "My father has spoken of him, he must be really smart to have designed a ship like this."

I feel myself swell with pride, but do my best not to let it get the better of me. "He is very smart. Perhaps you'll meet him. He's very kind." I pause, before deciding to ask him some questions, "What do you like to do for fun?"

"Me? Oh, nothing really. I like playing when my brother's at home, but he's in university now so I don't see him much. My sister isn't very fun to play with, she says my games are babyish. She's rather mean sometimes."

"My sister is too little to play with, she's only two. I play by myself. What sort of games do you like?"

He smiles sheepishly, "Well, lately I've been playing ships. I'm going to have my very own fleet of ships like my father someday, I think." He lowers his voice to a whisper, "Don't tell him, but I'm already planning a ship even bigger than Titanic," he tells me, a mischievous glint in his eye. I laugh softly at that, I'm sure Mr. Ismay wouldn't like hearing that not one bit!

"I think I'd like in on that plan, I can help you design and build them!" I whisper back, my voice pitching slightly as I try to hold back giggles.

He grins, his shyness melting away almost instantly, "Yes! That would be splendid! We'll make lots of history, you can be the first girl to design big ships, and I'll own the largest and grandest fleet of ships in the whole entire world."

The two of us laugh together and get along well for the rest of the tour. I'm actually sad when he has to go. "Perhaps I'll accompany my father on the voyage next time, and you'll accompany yours again. Then we can begin executing our plan. Bring some drawing paper with you," he says, with a big toothy grin.

We both giggle and are interrupted by Mr. Ismay clearing his throat. "Come along Georgie, we've dinner reservations and we mustn't be late. Alice, I shall see you in a week, give your father my regards. Farewell," he says. I bid them goodbye and wave to them as they walk down the gangplank. Once they're done, I decide to retrace our steps through the tour. I saw some things that I'd like to investigate a little further for myself!

That evening finds me sitting on a couch in our stateroom, quietly reading a book from a pile I found in the ship's library. I saw the room for the first time today during Mr. Ismay's tour, and had to retrace my steps just to look at it again. I could hardly believe my eyes, a room with walls covered in books! I'd never seen such a place in my life, and I had to ask one of the passing crew members what the place was called.

Imagine that though, this ship has a library! I've never even seen a library on land! I'm determined to read at least one of these books by the end of the voyage, but despite my lessons the text in front of me right now is just a mash of confusing words that I can't make any sense of. I picked up the book because there was a picture of a horse on the cover, I didn't really expect it to be so hard to read. Books with pictures are supposed to be easy!

I've always had an interest in horses, but I've never been able to get up close to one. All I've ever seen is pictures in newspapers, and heard talk from the boys running the stand that so and so a horse won a big race on so and so a day. I also see horse drawn carriages and have even ridden in them, but I've never actually gotten to see the horses before. I wasn't going to tell my father or mother to stop just so I could touch one of the animals. They were working anyway, and I wouldn't dare approach them. It shocks me just how big horses are in person too, which makes me wary of them sometimes.

There are many different kinds of horses, at least that's what I assume this book is talking about. Each page has a picture of a horse on it, but each horse looks a little different from the previous one. Some of them are big and stocky, others are slim and fragile looking. Some of them are brown, some of them are black, and there are even white ones! Like the kinds you hear about in fairytales! All of them are absolutely beautiful, as breathtaking as the ship I'm looking at them on. "What's that you're reading?" daddy asks. Oh, I didn't even notice him! I knew he was sitting at his desk writing in his journal, but I didn't notice him approach me.

"What are you reading there?" he asks again curiously, as though I didn't hear him the first time.

I blush a little bit, embarrassed that he caught me looking at the book when I can't even read it, "I wasn't reading it. I still can't read," I admit, "I was looking at the pictures."

He sits down next to me, putting a hand on the book, "May I?" he asks. I nod and he takes the book out of my hands, leafing through the pages. He smiles, "I used to like horses when I was a boy," he tells me, "I still like them," he adds after a moment. He flips to a picture of a very handsome looking little horse, "Here are the hunting ponies I told you yesterday I would take you to ride. They are quite gentle in nature, perhaps Santa will bring you one as a gift when you're a bit older."

He flips through some more pages, stopping on a page with a pretty gray horse that has a black mane and tail and a white spot on its head, "I never told anybody, but I always wanted a horse just like this one," he says, as he hands the book to me so I can get a better look.

The name on the horse looks funny, not like any word I've ever tried to read before. I sound it out slowly, "Th. Or. Oug. H. Bred," I say, that's a weird name.

Daddy chuckles, "Thoroughbred," he corrects. "They use them for racing. Have you ever seen a horse race?" he asks me. I shake my head, I've always wanted to!

Mr. Andrews smiles, "When we get to America I'll take you to see the races then. I believe there's a new racetrack not far from New York City. Belmont's the name if I remember correctly," he tells me. Belmont sounds kinda like Belfast. I'll have to remember that name!

Daddy helps me get ready for bed then, and once I'm tucked in he kisses me goodnight, tells me to go to sleep, and shuts my bedroom door behind him. I actually wish little Elba was here, I miss not having her in my room. Lately I've been practicing my reading at night when it's was her bedtime. Once Bessie goes to bed for the night I sit in the rocking chair next to her crib, and I read. They're easy books, with small simple words I can read. Just because Elba isn't here though, doesn't mean I shouldn't practice. I crawl out of bed and slip into the sitting room quietly, my father is too busy writing to notice me as I pick up the horse book and slip back into my room.

It's still open to the page with the grey horse on it. I'm going to read this and learn about the horse my daddy wanted as a little boy, about the horses he's going to show me in America. Maybe these are what make that country so amazing. I wonder what kind of sandwiches they have in America. I'm getting distracted! I need to focus on this book! I stare down at the page, I'll just read word by word! I can do this! Mummy will be so pleased if I can manage to read this!

"First. Re. cords of the. En, gli, sh..." There was that weird name of the horse again! What did daddy say it was called? Thoroughbred? I think that's right, "Thoroughbred, were pu, blish, ed in 1791." I give up on this book! I haven't even gotten through the first sentence and already I'm struggling! I don't even think I can piece together what I was just reading!

I sigh heavily in frustration and I hear a knock at my door, "Alice?" It's daddy. Sheepishly, I tell him that he can come in and he opens the door, "What are you doing?" he asks me, "It sounds like you're talking nonsense to yourself."

He must think I'm mad! I hold out the book to him, "I was trying to read this!" I tell him, "Because I want to learn more about the horses you're going to show me in America!"

He smiles patiently before taking the book from me and placing it on the night table, "You can read it another time, tonight it's getting late," he tells me.

I snuggle down under my sheets and look up at him, "Will you help me read it?" I ask him.

He nods, "Yes, once we set sail. I'll help you read it after dinner one night. I have to do some things during the day so you're going to have to be by yourself a while. Can you manage?" he asks, sitting on my bed.

I can't help but chuckle, "Daddy, I managed just fine before I met you. I'm sure I can survive a few days on the ship without you," I tell him.

Daddy sighs and stands up, "I'm only watching out for you!" he tells me, kissing me on the top of the head. Before I can say anything to him he's already bidding me goodnight and leaving. Once the door is closed I close my eyes and huff slightly to myself. I don't know why, maybe I'm just in a cranky mood because I couldn't read that stupid book.

* * *

**A/N: Welcome to Southampton everybody! Fun fact, Ismay really did give his family a tour of Titanic before they set sail, though they didn't accompany him. He also gave the tour on departure day, however I moved it because departure day seems a little hectic for giving a tour. So uh, yeah. Artistic license and all that. Soon we shall set sail! PLEASE PLEASE review, and thank you all so much for reading! **


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a week and I've been a very good girl, at least, as good a girl as I could be. Most days were really, really boring. In the week I've been onboard Titanic, I've seen every deck and every room. I played in the gym, I ran down the promenade deck, I even snuck into the wheelhouse and touched the steering wheel. The steering wheel! That you use to steer the Titanic! I think I'd make a rather good ship's captain one day, it's too bad I'm a girl. Daddy told me girls aren't accepted as sea captains.

Today is departure day, and there is a lot going on. The passengers haven't even boarded yet and already the ship itself is hectic, with crew members walking every which way doing who knows what. Daddy dressed me in a cute little sailor dress this morning, but I haven't seen him since he walked out the door this morning. I lean over the railing on the promenade deck and look out at the crowds of people arriving. There are so many people down there, you can hardly see the ground! Cars and carriages are surrounded by people, and I wonder how they'll ever get by.

There's all sorts of cargo being loaded onboard, huge crates and boxes carrying things going to America. I listen to people shouting as they direct luggage, there sure is a lot of stuff coming onboard here. It seems as though they're stocking a city rather than a ship. There's even a car being swung onboard and placed below decks! Whoever owns that must be really, really rich! In the big crowds of people down below, it's hard to pick out who's rich and who's not. They all blend together in one great sea of people, and are only separated by what gangplank they come aboard on. It's taking a long time for them to get everyone on though, they have to go through all kinds of inspections before boarding. I'm glad I didn't have to do that! I wish they'd hurry up though, I feel like we'll never get on!

The wind blows in my face and I can hardly contain my excitement. The atmosphere here is like nothing I've ever seen before! There's just so much to look at, the beautifully dressed women coming up the first class gangplank with their dogs, the crew scrambling around loading countless objects on board and making sure everything is ready to go, the hopeful faces of all the third class passengers as they practically run onto the ship. They look about as excited as I feel, I doubt they've ever seen something as big and grand as this ship, let alone been on one. The first class don't wear their enthusiasm on their sleeve quite like the lower classes, they truly act as though they are royalty. However, despite their status, they too seem impressed by Titanic and excited for the voyage.

As people come aboard, the deck begins to grow crowded. Suddenly I'm not alone on the promenade anymore. There are several well-dressed people with me, who pay me absolutely no mind. I'm startled suddenly as someone places a hand on my shoulder. I spin around to see Mr. Andrews standing behind me. "This is it. Are you ready?" he says, joining me at the rail and taking a look down below for himself.

My heart begins fluttering with anticipation as we watch them begin pulling the gangplanks away and untying the ship. The horn blows and I feel the engines start up below my feet. The people standing on shore all wave and cheer at us as we pull away and I wave back at them. The roar of the crowd is nearly deafening, this is so exciting! We're actually going! On our maiden voyage! With actual passengers and everything!

As we pull out, Titanic makes really big waves. Really REALLY big waves, so big they untie a smaller ship that was docked and cause it to float out into the channel. It gets closer and closer, almost running into us. I glance up at my father as the action unfolds to see what he thinks and his reactions are not disappointing. He looks on edge, and at one moment when it looks as though the smaller ship might hit us, he looks like he might have a heart attack or something. Some other ships come and manage to catch the other one before it hits us, and we all laugh and cheer at the close call, except Daddy. Once we're clear away, though he has visibly calmed down, he is writing a LOT in his little black notebook.

"What were you so worried about?"

"I was worried for the sake of that other ship," he replies, not even looking up from his notebook. After he's finished writing he looks down at me, "Well, we're off to France, care to come below with me to make sure everything's running smoothly?"

The trip to France is only a few hours long. When we get there some very important people come aboard, at least that's what Mr. Andrews tells me. He doesn't know them personally really, he only knows about them by word of mouth and from passenger lists. We don't actually dock in France, smaller ships have to bring the passengers to us. I can see the shoreline of the country though, and I'm slightly disappointed we can't actually disembark and explore a little. Someday I'll just have to go to France myself. We only stand to watch for a little while, Daddy wanted to make sure the two tender ships were running smoothly. Then it's back to checking everything, always checking!

Our final stop is Queenstown, but we won't get there until tomorrow. Daddy is running all over the place checking all sorts of things I don't understand, and I accompany him quietly. By the time we get to our stateroom, I'm actually feeling a little out of breath from following him.

When we enter the room he flips the lights on and I see a package sitting on the couch in the sitting room. I run up to it and look at it, the tag has my name on it! "What this?" I ask, turning to daddy.

He sits at his desk and smiles, though he looks incredibly exhausted, "Why don't you open it up and see?"

He doesn't have to tell me twice! I tear off the ribbon and open the box as quickly as my little fingers will allow. Inside I gasp, pulling out the most adorable plush sheep I've ever seen, but he has wheels attached to his hooves! Oh won't I love rolling this down the decks tomorrow! "Oh Daddy! Thank you thank you so much!" I say, running into his arms and hugging him tightly.

"I told you I'd get you something if you were a well behaved little girl. Try not to roll it off the edge of the ship all right?"

I nod, "Oh I won't! I think I'll name him Fluffy, that seems like a good name for him!" Yes, Fluffy, he looks like a Fluffy.

Daddy chuckles and nudges me gently, "I've called the maid to help you dress so you no longer have to deal with my terrible sense of ladies fashion. You'd best be getting to sleep now," he tells me. I thank him once again for the toy before running into my room and jumping onto the bed. I'm so excited! We're on our way to America soon! Just one last stop in Ireland and then we'll be officially on our way!

A few minutes later, there's a knock at my door and I open it, seeing a shy little maid looking at me. "I was sent to help you miss," she tells me. I open the door and let her in, she's quiet as a mouse. Maybe that will make things easier, if neither of us say a thing! She begins helping me out of my dress, and then unlacing my stays. I'm still a little wary, because she's a stranger, but she is gentler about untying the cords than Mr. Andrews was.

This is so bizarre, I really would like to meet the woman who decided corsets were an absolutely necessity if you were first class. One of the only pleasant memories I have of my old home is that I'd never even heard of a corset! And I certainly didn't need one when I was running around Titanic acting like a boy! Boys, they are so lucky!

When I'm in my nightgown I smile at the maid and politely thank her for helping me. She nods and slips out of the room quietly, closing the door behind her. The rest of this trip I'm not going to be able to get over that. I wish my mother or Bessie was here to help me and not some stranger. I'm sure I'll get along just fine with the maid though, she seems nice enough.

I pull my sheep over so he's standing next to my bed. I didn't really bring much in the way of toys on this trip, though it was a challenge. I have grown very attached to my toys, my dolls and stuffed animals in particular. I think of them as being real, especially after Mummy read me the story of the Velveteen Rabbit one night. I can hardly bear to think of any of my precious toys being abandoned or lost. After much deliberation, I brought my first real dolly and my teddy, and that's all. I didn't even bring Colleen, although I was very tempted to. I didn't want to risk losing her in America, since she's so very important.

Fluffy the sheep is very pretty, I lie on the very edge of my bed and look down at him, admiring his shiny wheels and the beautiful blue satin bow around his neck. He's a very sweet looking sheep, with the prettiest eyes I've ever seen, and his woolly coat is as clean and white as clouds on a sunny day. I look up when daddy knocks softly on my door before poking his head in. "I'm saying goodnight Alice, do you need anything more?"

"No thank you Daddy. What are we doing tomorrow?"

He comes into the room, standing in the doorway and thinking, "Well, I have to help some of the crew down below. Now that we've set sail, I'd prefer it if you stayed in the first class area of the ship. Perhaps you could get to know some of the other passengers, it'd be good for you! I know you'll be a very well behaved young lady, so I'm not worried about you."

"You really think so?" I ask.

He nods before coming over and kissing me on the top of the head, "I do. Just be careful, if anything happens just come back here or ask a crewmember for assistance. This ship is yours to command, princess."

We say goodnight and he leaves the room. I curl up and fall asleep, excited and nervous for the next day. I do want to meet some of the other passengers, but I'm worried that they won't like me. Not that I've ever encountered anyone who didn't like me, I'm still unsure though. I was with mummy or daddy when I met all the rich people I know, except my grumpy uncle Mr. Ismay of course. But that's different.

I don't remember when I fall asleep, but it feels like the maid at the door not a moment later. There's a knock at my door and I groan unhappily as I turn over in bed. "Miss! May I come in?" she calls. What is she doing here so late at night? She calls through the door again, "Miss Andrews! It's nearly noon!" she tells me.

Noon? That can't be right can it? I crack open an eye and look out the window. There is indeed sunlight attempting to stream through the window, but it's cut off by the curtains my father must have drawn last night after I fell asleep. I also notice we're not moving, we must have arrived in Queenstown!

"Come in!" I tell her, sitting up in bed and stretching. The maid comes in and curtsies to me, that's pretty funny. I've never had anyone do that for me before, usually I'm the one who has to curtsy.

I rather like it, but it doesn't seem fair somehow, "Please don't do that," I tell her as I hop out of bed.

She looks confused, "Do what miss?" she asks.

I have to stifle a laugh, "Curtsy like that. I'm not royalty. And don't call me Miss either. I'm Alice".

She smiles, "Well, Miss, I mean, Alice. I'm Angelica. You may call upon me whenever you need me. Now, what are you wearing?" she asks.

I look at the closet and begin shuffling through the dresses, there are so many pretty ones! I still can't pick. I still don't even know the difference between a day dress and an evening dress. I wish Bessie was here to choose for me. This maid will have to do, "Pick something pretty," I tell her, sitting down in front of the mirror and waiting for her to begin brushing my hair. I won't mind what she picks because they're all pretty!

She pulls out a pink dress, "Will this do Miss Alice?" she asks. I merely nod, trying not to roll my eyes as she calls me 'miss' again, if she thinks it'll do then it'll do! I think Miss Alice is about as close to just Alice I'm going to get with this maid. She's really nice though, so I guess I don't mind.

Before I can even worry about the dress though, I'm told to stand and hold onto the bedpost so she can lace my stays. As she tightens each lace I cringe, it's so tight! Bessie usually makes it pretty tight, but never too tight. I'm still 'in delicate condition' according to the doctor. If the corset gets pulled too tight I could reinjure my insides. Angelica yanks on the cords of the corset and I let out a cry, "STOP!" I yell at her. Her eyes widen in fear and I feel bad for yelling, "Not too tight," I tell her, lowering my voice.

She blushes, "I apologize Alice," she replies, at least she didn't call me miss!

Finally I'm dressed and ready to head out and explore the ship all by myself. Thanking Angelica, I head out into the hallway. Which way to the deck again? I walk down the hallway and come across another hallway that looks almost identical. What is this? A maze? When I see my father I'm going to demand maps be placed around the ship with little markers that say 'you are here', because I bet I'm not the only one getting lost. This shouldn't seem like a problem anymore, since I've had several weeks now to figure out my way around. But, I get equally lost every time I step out of the stateroom.

Ok, here's a sign. Are you kidding me? I was going the completely wrong way! The boat deck is the other way! I always do this! I turn on my heels and storm the other way, eventually finding my way up to the deck. All right, now that I've made it here, it's time to go have some tea. Afternoon tea, I think, if I'm guessing the time right. Tea is pretty good actually, I didn't think I'd like it when I first tried it but I could drink a gallon of it now! I notice a group of ladies with big hats walking down the deck. My best chances are probably to follow them! So I do!

They are walking so slowly though! At this rate by the time we get there we'll be in America! Suddenly they turn into the ship and I stop, waiting for them to go inside and sit down before I join them. I wouldn't want them to think I was stalking them or anything, even though I was. I approach them once they're sitting and they look up at me as though I'm some sort of creature from the abyss. Mummy told me to be polite and win them over by being a 'charming young lady'.

I smile softly, "Might I join you for tea?" I ask them.

One of them nods and I sit down, all eyes are on me for what seems forever before one of the ladies finally speaks up, "I don't believe I've ever seen you before. What's your name dear?"

Just stay calm! They won't bite! I keep the smile plastered to my face as I reply, "Alice Andrews."

The lady who asked me the question raises an eyebrow, "Are you related to Thomas Andrews?" she asks.

Related? Technically, I am not. But he calls me his daughter, and I call him daddy, so how exactly do I answer that? Is it appropriate to say yes when it's not true? Or to say I'm adopted? I'm not sure, I've never encountered any adopted first class people before. I suppose the best thing to do is tell the truth, "He adopted me," I answer at last. That wasn't so hard! Now they'll just sip their tea and talk about something other than me. Right?

Wrong! Everyone is still focused on me, and after more prying questions I finally just tell them my story so they'll shut up about me. But the more I tell them, the more they interrogate me! Like I've committed some sort of crime! We must have sat here for hours, just me telling them things! Finally one of them stands, "Well I best be going back to my stateroom to get ready for dinner."

The rest of us stand and part ways, but not before a few of them smile and say it was 'a pleasure meeting me'. They've made me almost dazed as I walk out onto the deck and sit on one of the chairs. What exactly just happened? Did I make a good impression or not? Those ladies would be expert poker players, you can't read them at all!

"Don't pay any mind to them sweetie. They were just curious," a little voice says. I look up and see a young face, looking down at me, "My name's Madeleine Astor," she informs me as she sits down on the deck chair next to mine. "Your story was quite curious, was it true? Did you really sleep under Titanic and watch it be built?" she asks me curiously. I nod and she smiles, "That sounds so interesting! I can't imagine what building this ship looked like! It's so grand! It compares to the pyramids my husband and I saw in Egypt!"

The pyramids of Egypt. I smile at the mention of them, I remember my father one day telling me about the greatest works of mankind throughout all history. Mummy hadn't been feeling well so he'd taken over my history lesson that afternoon. I had asked him why they were building Titanic, and he told me that 'in every age mankind attempts to make great things that are thought magnificent and impossible'. He'd told me of how they'd made pyramids out of mountains of stone in the Egyptian desert, and told me of flying buttresses that made walls of light. Oh the interesting things he listed off for me! Things that fascinated me, China's endless wall, Stonehenge, the Parthenon, the Duomo, the aqueducts of Rome. And this age's magnificent and impossible dream, was a floating city! And thus they decided to build Titanic! Honestly I sorta wish Mr. Andrews taught my history all the time, his enthusiasm made it easier to pay attention.

As we continue talking, I decide I rather like Madeleine. She's not snobby like the other first class women who were questioning me earlier. She's quiet and dainty, but curious just like I am! She wants to know what everything is made of and how the world works. She tells me that she was quite studious at school, and I can only reply that I've never had the pleasure of going. School, I wonder what happens in such a place?

Suddenly an older man approaches us, "Madeleine! I've been looking for you! Come along, we'll be late for dinner," he says. Wait a moment, I've seen his face in the papers before. Isn't that John Jacob Astor? Before I can make a comment Madeleine bids me goodbye and walks off with her husband. I was just in the presence of the richest man on the ship! Unbelievable!

I'm only left alone a little while to dwell over that before Mr. Andrews walks past. He appears rather preoccupied but somehow notices me and stops in his tracks, "Alice! I was just about to come looking for you! Aren't you going to change for dinner?" he asks. I blush, secretly the only reason I hadn't gotten up right when Madeleine left was that I'd completely forgotten that dinner was now going to be an event, rather than just daddy and me in our stateroom. I stand and take his offered hand, "So, when did you wake up this morning sleeping beauty?" he asks me.

I look down, slightly embarrassed, "The maid woke me at Noon." Wait a minute, this isn't my fault! "You didn't wake me up this morning!" I accuse.

He shrugs, "I thought you would want to sleep in since you've been having to get up so early this past week. I'll remember not to let you sleep for the rest of the trip." He's teasing! At least, I hope he is.

A smile assures me that he is joking, and I sigh in relief. He must have noticed the relief written all over my face because he laughs, "Alright, fine. You may stay up a little while tonight and we'll work on reading that horse book. But you're getting up at a decent hour tomorrow morning," he tells me.

He remembered his promise to help me read that book? Even after working all week? Nobody has ever remembered something like that for me before. I don't have time to dwell on it though, I have to get ready for dinner now. And I'll have to face all those people again. At least I won't be alone this time! I squeeze my father's hand and he squeezes it back affectionately. Yes, with him by my side I'll be able to conquer anything.

* * *

**A/N: The Velveteen Rabbit wasn't actually written for another 10 years or so after the Titanic disaster, but I decided to include it anyhow. I used to love that story as a kid. The sheep toy Mr. Andrews gave her is a real thing, you should look up pictures of them, they're actually pretty cute. Alice is hobnobbing with the elite now! How fancy! And we've officially set sail for 'Merica! Exciting stuff! Things can only go up from here, can't they? Please review and THANKS FOR READING!**


	8. Chapter 8

My heart is pounding wildly in my ribcage, just trying to bust free. I'm excited and frightened to be going to first class dinner tonight. The richest people in the whole world will be there, I might even get to talk to some more of them! I feel more like a princess now than I ever have in my whole life and it's the most thrilling feeling I've ever experienced.

The maid helps me into my evening dress, it's the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen, with beaded white lace and a white satin ribbon around the middle, tied in a neat little bow behind me. It's the longest dress I've ever worn as well, the hem falls almost to my ankles and I feel like a real grown-up. She brushes my blonde hair carefully, and arranges it so it falls down my back gracefully. I look so pretty, perhaps I truly am a princess after all, but it can't be. I'm just a girl, a ship builder's daughter! How can such things be?

Once I'm ready to go, I walk out into the sitting room where Mr. Andrews is waiting for me, in the nicest tailcoat I've ever seen him in. He sure looks dapper tonight! He holds his arm out to me and I take it, standing up straight and tall just like mummy would have wanted. "Shall we?" he asks, I nod excitedly, smiling so wide it almost makes my cheeks hurt. We walk down the halls towards the grand staircase, and as we near the doors I suddenly slow down and stop. "What's the matter darling?"

"I'm scared, I'm only a little girl." This feels very similar to how I felt when I was going to meet my parents' families two summers ago.

And just like then, my father reassures me gently, "They'll love you." Taking a deep breath, I smile up at him before walking with him through the doors and into the grand staircase. It nearly takes my breath away every time I come in here, but certainly tonight! Inside the grand staircase is the most intricately carved clock I've ever seen, the glass dome above our heads lighted so brightly that it almost seems as though it is daytime. Truly, it's like being inside of a palace instead of a ship. I wonder if my real mother is looking down on me right now, I wonder what she would think if she saw all this, if she saw me.

We walk down the stairs slowly, going down deck by deck. We pause once we reach the level before the reception area. I can hear a string quartet and a piano playing sweet waltzing melodies that make me want to dance across the floor. I lean over the railing and look down at all the first class people waiting for the dining room to open. The women are so beautiful, with the most gorgeous gowns I've ever seen and the men all carry an air of importance, like kings and princes out of a story book.

Some of them notice me and look up, one young lady even waves politely at me and I smile at her in return. My father takes my arm and smiles down at me, before we begin walking down the staircase. I feel so regal, so important, so grown-up, so, like I might actually be rich or something. When we reach the landing more people stop and look at us, and I smile brighter than I ever have. I can hardly even describe the emotions rushing through me as we walk down that final set of stairs and set foot on the reception room floor. We are standing in the same room as real royalty! I must be Cinderella!

Mr. Andrews doesn't seem nearly as star struck as me, he calmly converses with people as we walk through the room as though he's known them all his life. I spot Mr. Ismay and feel both annoyed because it's grumpy Mr. Ismay and reassured because, well, he's a familiar face in a crowd of strangers. He approaches us and shakes daddy's hand, congratulating him on Titanic.

He then turns to me, taking my hand and placing a kiss on it, "Ah, Miss Alice, a pleasure to see you as always. Joining us for dinner in first class? How very grown-up!" he says rather patronizingly. I glance at my father for a little help on the proper way to respond, but he's making silly faces behind Ismay's back, which causes me to laugh. I can't help it, and I know if mummy were here she'd be very displeased because laughing is rude. But daddy started it! Mr. Ismay looks up at me, puzzled, "What's so funny Alice?"

I try to stifle more giggles, "Oh nothing Mr. Ismay, I just thought of a silly story I heard earlier at tea," I reply. Yeah, that was a good cover-up! I applaud myself before making my sweetest most innocent face, so that Mr. Ismay can't possibly be angry or upset with me for being rude or immature. Behind Ismay I can see Mr. Andrews now struggling to stifle giggles.

Finally the dining room doors open and we head inside. I can't wait to eat! I'm so hungry! We stop every so often as daddy is stopped and asked various questions about the ship by some of the first class passengers. We are invited to sit with Madeleine, her husband Mr. Astor, and their friend Maggie Brown. She is a little intimidating, because of how outspoken and loud she seems, but she seems nice enough.

I sit down quietly and keep aware of my surroundings as everyone else is seated at the table. My father is to my right, and Madeleine Astor sits to my left. I thank all higher powers for that! Madeleine and I can continue our discussion from earlier! Before I engage her though, I watch as the rest of the table fills up. Most of these people I've seen in the newspapers and only know their names by word of mouth. Mr. Straus who owns Macy's department store, with his wife Ida. And Mr. Guggenheim, who I've heard is an American businessman who spends his money like it's water. Wish I had money to spend like that!

Then I see her, Maggie Brown. She is a beautiful lady, like an actress in a moving picture, but I'm still afraid of her quite frankly. She's so outspoken, I don't want her to embarrass me by pointing out that I'm doing something wrong. I twiddle my thumbs nervously and my father nudges me with his foot under the table, causing me to look up at him. He sits up a little taller and motions to the napkin on the table. Shoot! I completely forgot! I quickly sit up straighter, correcting my bad posture and carefully place my napkin in my lap, looking up at Mr. Andrews for approval. He smiles and winks at me before pulling out his notebook and beginning to scribble notes into it. It's a good thing mummy isn't here to be angry, luckily nobody seems to have noticed.

"Alice, I absolutely adore that necklace you're wearing," Madeleine says to me. With that the two of us are engaged into conversation once more. Picking up right where we left off on the boat deck. The more I talk to Madeleine, the more I like her. Maybe I'm just happy to finally have someone to talk to besides daddy. Our conversation is interrupted by the serving of the first course. What in the world is being put on my plate? It looks like, I don't even KNOW what that is. I glance at my father for help, but he looks incredibly amused by my bewilderment!

Since he clearly isn't going to be any help, I turn back to Madeleine, "What is this?" I ask her.

She takes a dainty little bite of it and swallows before answering me, "Caviar," she replies, "Try it, it's good."

I look back to the pile of, something, on my plate. Which one of these forks do I use to eat this anyway? I wish my mother was here to help me! She taught me so much, but clearly not enough! There are too many eating utensils to choose from! I glance around the table to see what everyone else was using to eat this 'caviar'. Alright, they're using the little spoon looking things.

I take a small piece of the mystery substance and once again glance at my father. He's pretending to be engaged in the conversation at hand, but I can see him watching me out of the corner of his eye, trying to hide a smile. I take a deep breath and quickly put the stuff in my mouth, swallowing it. What the? WHAT did I just eat? It's so salty! And it felt so weird in my mouth! Should I take another bite of this? I couldn't even determine if I liked it from that first bite! I take another bite of it and immediately decide whatever the heck this is, it's disgusting and I'm not eating anymore of it.

"Madeleine, what is caviar anyway?" I ask her.

She looks a little uncomfortable but then a little smile spreads across her face, "Wait until they take it away and then I'll tell you. I don't like thinking about what it is while I'm eating it!"

When they take the bizarre food away, I ask again. And Madeleine has to try very hard not to laugh, "It's fish eggs," she replies. WHAT? I just ate fish eggs? That is absolutely revolting! I'd rather eat the splattered remains of the sandwich in the Belfast dry-dock than eat caviar ever again. I have to refrain myself from shuddering at the thought of it. But the next meal looks a little better. It's some kind of soup, and I use it to wash down any lingering taste in my mouth from the, thing.

Poached salmon is next. How do they expect me to eat all of this? We're not even halfway through the meal yet! And my father is still eating like a horse! Clearing his plate with each course! What on earth? Well, salmon I can deal with. I eat as much of it as I can, I still have to save room for whatever is coming next. It's like some sort of sick parade! After the salmon comes 6 more courses that I barely remember because each one just seemed exactly the same. More food was in front of me throughout that whole meal than in my entire lifetime! Finally though, it's time for dessert, but how do they expect me to eat this ice cream when they've stuffed me with so many other things?

Finally Mr. Guggenheim stands up, "Ladies, thank you for the pleasure of your company," he says. The other men at the table get up, except Mr. Andrews. I watch him carefully, everyone else seems to be making a move to leave, even the ladies.

"Thomas? Won't you be joining us?" Mr. Astor asks as everyone begins to part ways.

My father shakes his head, "No, I've got a few things I need to look over and write down," he replies. Mr. Astor merely nods and bids us goodbye before following the others out.

"Good Night Mrs. Astor," I say as she takes her husband's arm to leave.

She turns and smiles at me, waiving daintily, "Good Night Alice!"

The only ones left at the table are Maggie Brown, my father, and me. She's turned around in her seat talking to someone who's standing next to her. Other people are beginning to file out of the room and I can hear the string quartet playing out in the reception hall again. Daddy nudges me, "Would you like to go listen to them?" he asks.

I smile and nod and he stands, offering his arm to me once more. We walk out of the dining room and to the base of the staircase, where the orchestra and piano are set up in a corner playing waltzes. The room is cleared out for the most part, with only a few small groups of ladies sitting in various places on the other side of the room, conversing.

Daddy takes a step away from me as the quartet begins another waltz, holding my hand up and bowing, "Princess? May I have this dance?" he asks.

I giggle before curtsying. Mr. Andrews is tall, and I can hardly reach him for the proper hand position. He smiles and starts slowly, swaying back and forth gently. Mummy told me about dancing once, you're supposed to follow the man. I look down but he squeezes my hand and gets me to look up at him. "Don't look down, just watch me. You'll be all right," he whispers. I smile as he twirls me around before beginning to step lightly across the floor in time to the music. He takes small steps, so I'm able to keep up with him.

I've got the hang of this! This isn't that hard! I giggle as he waltzes me around the room, and it suddenly feels as though we're the only people here. He twirls me around again, then takes me up into a waltz again without even missing a beat. He even picks me up and spins me around a few times, which makes me laugh with delight each time. This is so fun! I never want it to end! As the song draws to a close he twirls me around one more time before releasing my hand and bowing once more, I curtsy in reply before smiling and taking his hand again.

We turn suddenly at the sound of applause, to see a decent sized group of ladies standing together a short distance away. Those who aren't standing in the audience are watching from their seats across the room, and they applaud politely as well. They must have watched us the entire time!

"How adorable!"

"What a darling little girl!"

"Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever seen?"

Those are only some of the remarks I hear them make. Maggie Brown is standing in the group, she comments as well. "Nice dancing kiddo, helps that your father's so light on his feet," she says, winking at him. I think he actually is a little flustered by her comment. But he politely and modestly thanks her for the compliment.

The musicians begin playing a final song, but I have other things in mind. "Daddy, the book! We're gonna read it tonight, aren't we?"

He smiles and pats my hand, but something flashes in his eyes that I can't quite identify, "Yes of course Alice, let's go back to the stateroom. Ladies, thank you ever so much for your kindness. I will be departing now if you wouldn't mind." We say goodnight to the ladies before heading up the stairs and back to our stateroom. My feet are tired from dancing and walking up all those steps, I think I'd like to take the elevator to dinner the next few times!

The moment Mr. Andrews unlocks the door I immediately race into my bedroom, leaping onto the bed and picking up the book from the night table. "Daddy will you hurry up!" I say, bouncing in place excitedly. I'm going to read this page! I'm going to read it and it's going to be amazing! If I can read this mummy will be so proud of me! It will make up for me almost ruining dinner with my poor posture! Daddy finally walks in, I suppose he was putting his dinner jacket away, because he's not wearing it now, and his bowtie is missing.

He sits next to me, "All right, start at the top of the page," he tells me.

I look back at the sentence I'd attempted to read the night before, I can do this! I've already read this once! "First, records of the, En..." I trail off and he begins sounding it out for me, I finally get it, "English, Thoroughbred were pub, published in 1791, ent..." I trail off again. That's a hard looking word. Once again Mr. Andrews begins sounding it out "Entitled?" I ask and he nods as I get it right. That wasn't so bad! Ok, where was I, entitled, "An Int..." that's a big word! I look up to my father but his eyes are glued to the page as he begins to sound out the word for me.

"Introduction, to a gene, ral, stud book. With vol, um, e one of the gene, ral, stud book following in 1808," I finish the sentence. What did I even just read? I think I probably said some of the words wrong.

I'm about read to give up but Mr. Andrews prods me on, "Keep reading darling, you're doing fine."

And so we keep reading, every time I reach a word I don't know, daddy sounds it out slowly for me. It must have taken us hours, but finally I manage to read the last sentence, "A comb, in, a, ti, on of these two types makes the classic middle-di, stan, ce horse."

My father applauds me, "You did it!" he says cheerfully.

I lean into his shoulder and yawn, "That took a really long time," I tell him sleepily.

He chuckles, "Well you completed it though, and I'll be sure to let your mother know," he tells me. That's reassuring!

Mr. Andrews stands up and moves to the door, "Don't fall asleep yet Alice! I'm calling the maid up here to help you change," he tells me. I'm so tired though! I can hear him ring for the maid before he returns to me, sitting next to me nudging me, "Is this trip too tiring for you?" he asks.

I nod, closing my eyes, "It's so much to take all in. I feel like I've seen everything yet I haven't quite experienced it yet. It's very different when there's so many people," I tell him.

He rubs my back, "Don't worry, in a few days you'll hardly notice them. Perhaps I can take you on a trip down below one of these days, the third class passengers are a lively bunch and I'm sure you'd enjoy them."

I hum that it sounds good as I hear the maid knock at the door. Daddy leans over and kisses my cheek, "Good night Alice," he says gently before leaving the room.

Angelica makes quick work of getting my dress off and unlacing my stays. I'm too tired and full to even care what she's doing. Once I'm in the comforts of my nightgown I thank her and hazily crawl into bed. I don't even stay awake long enough to see her leave the room.

**A/N: The song I wrote them dancing to after dinner is called "La Valse de L'Amour" and it's from the new Cinderella film. Not historically accurate, but it's a really nice song, I don't know, I like it. Lavender's Blue also came from that film, though it's kinda an old English song that has been around for far longer than that. Anyhoo, as usual please review and THANKS FOR READING!**


	9. Chapter 9

Another morning of not wanting to wake up. Daddy comes to wake me up this time, gently coaxing me to open my eyes. Yet him brushing my stray locks out of my face is lulling me into deeper sleep. I must get up though, I must! Opening my eyes, I look up to see Mr. Andrews smiling down at me, "Ah, there are those pretty blue eyes. Good morning darling!" he greets me cheerfully.

I sit up and rub my eyes, "What time is it?" I ask him drowsily. It feels as though it's very early in the morning, yet I can see light behind my closed curtains.

Mr. Andrews checks his pocket watch, "9:20. Get up now, I let you sleep a whole 20 minutes longer than you should have!" He's right, Bessie always makes sure I wake up at 9 sharp on most days. She says life's too short to waste sleeping. I suppose I can see where she's coming from, but sleeping feels so good sometimes!

Daddy leaves the room and is replaced by Angelica. The still timid maid goes to my closet, shifting through each gown, "Which dress would you like Miss Alice?" she asks.

I run a hand through my hair, "It doesn't matter, pick the one you think is prettiest" I tell her. Gee, this is playing out exactly like yesterday! Only this time she settles on a light blue and white dress and she begins dressing me. Once again, she pulls the stays much too tight and I have to remind her to loosen it slightly. Even when she loosens it, the stupid thing feels constricting! I hope whoever thought corsets were a good idea died a horrible, painful, slow death. No no, I take that back, I would never truly wish that upon anyone. But really, why should women have to suffer in these corsets? There must be an easier way to get a small figure!

Dressed and ready for the day, I thank Angelica and join my daddy out in the sitting room. He stands and offers me his arm, "Accompany me to breakfast today?" he asks.

I smile, "Of course! I should have accompanied you yesterday!" I tell him, I still can't believe he forgot to wake me up! As we trek down the grand staircase and to the dining hall, I take the time to marvel at the inside of the ship some more. I know I've seen it countless times so far, but some places I feel as though I haven't stopped to really look closely at it. I notice something new everything! I think I like the inside a lot better than the outside of the ship.

Mr. Ismay must have noticed I was admiring the ship at breakfast, "Alice, still marveling at the splendor of Titanic?" he asks. I nod and Mr. Ismay leans back in his chair, "You go ahead and continue marveling! You'll not see another ship quite like this one Miss Andrews! She's..." I merely smile and nod as he continues on about the ship. You'd think it was his wife the way he talks about it!

When he's finally done going on about the ship I stand, "I'm going to go explore a little bit now, if you'll excuse me," I say.

The two men nod, "See you at dinner?" my father asks.

I nod, "Of course. I'll be there!" I tell him. And with that, I'm off for another grand adventure on the ship of dreams! He calls for me to be careful as I go, but I barely hear him before I'm out on the deck in the sunshine. It is sunny out, but a little chilly too. It is only the beginning of April, but I wish it felt more like spring and less like winter.

Suddenly I come across a group of 4 children playing on the deck. They're focused on the littlest boy, who has a top. He throws it down and the group watches it spin before rolling to a stop. I approach the group, though I feel a little shy. They don't seem to notice my nerves, instead they all smile at me invitingly as I near. "Hi-ya! You wanna watch my top spin too?" the little boy asks.

"Sure," I reply, and he excitedly spins it once again, we all watch it spin for quite a while before it rolls to a stop.

"Wow, that was a good one!" one of the other boys says.

There's a girl in the group, she skips over to my side of the group. "Hi! I like your dress!" she says. Isn't she friendly?

"I like your dress too, green is my favorite color," I reply politely.

She grins, "Oh thank you! My mama picked me out this dress! What's your name?"

"Alice. And you?"

"I'm Lucile! And that's my brother William," she says, pointing to one of the boys.

He smiles broadly, "You can just call me Billy, everyone else does."

The other boys pipe up, "I'm John, everybody calls me Jack though," the tallest boy says holding out his hand and shaking mine.

"And I'm Douglas!" says the little owner of the top. He can't be any older than 5 or 6, while the other three look to be about my age. "We just met too, so you don't gotta be shy," he says, grinning toothily at me.

Lucile looks up and down the decks, there are a couple adults strolling but otherwise it's rather quiet. "Hey, we should play a game to get to know each other better! I learned some on the first day of school that we can try," she says.

Billy makes a face at that, "That sounds dumb, can't we just keep watching Douglas' top? I wanna see how long we can get it to spin!"

"We could play tag?" I suggest.

Jack, who appears to be the oldest of our group, looks up and down the decks. "I love tag as much as the next guy, but I don't think that's a good idea with so many grown-ups around. They'll get mad if they see us running around on the decks."

"What about hide and go seek? I love that game!" Douglas says.

Lucile puts her hands on her hips, "That's all well and good but this ship is so big that if we play that then we'll probably never see each other again!"

"What time is it? Does anyone know?" I ask.

Jack pulls out a pocket watch from his jacket and checks the time, "Um, almost one. Why?"

"We could go to the gymnasium to play! We are allowed in there at one. By the time we get there, it'll probably be time," I explain to them. The boys perk right up at that, Lucile looks a little less convinced.

"A gymnasium? What's in there?"

"All sorts of things! There's a rowing machine and stationary bicycles, and mechanical camels and horses!" I tell her.

She raises an eyebrow curiously, "A mechanical camel? I think I'd like to see that," she finally says. Her younger brother and the other two boys cheer, and our little group heads off in the direction of the gym. I can't believe I've just made some friends! Daddy is going to be so proud of me! These children are so nice too, nothing like the snooty adults that I had tea with yesterday!

When we get to the gymnasium, Mr. McCawley is there. He smiles cheerfully at our group as we enter the room, "Ah, hello children. Here to try out some of the equipment?"

The boys are very enthusiastic about it, "Oh yes please!" they say, practically beside themselves. Lucile merely nods her head quietly, looking a little skeptical about the whole thing as she eyes the room.

Mr. McCawley smiles at me when he sees me, I have actually met him once already which is how I knew what time the gym was open to the children. I bumped into him while we were still docked in Southampton, he was checking out the gym himself then. "Miss Andrews! What a pleasure to see you again! How's your father?" he asks.

"Busy sir, but he's fine," I reply.

Billy plops himself down in front of the rowing machine, grabbing the oars. "Hey guys, look at this! I feel like I'm rowing a Viking ship!" Jack sits down in front of him and the two of them begin rowing together in sync, and being singing silly sounding 'sailor songs' while they do it.

Little Douglas sets down his top and clambers onto one of the bicycles, which Mr. McCawley has to adjust pretty drastically so that Douglas' feet can touch the pedals. "There you go lad. And you ladies?" he asks, turning to us.

"Can I ride the mechanical camel please?" Lucile asks, looking over at the contraption a bit warily.

He laughs, "Why of course young lady! Here, let me show you how it works!" He leads us over to the mechanical horses and camels, and proceeds to show us everything about them before helping us on. I wish this were a real horse, but I just have to be patient that's all. Mr. Andrews promised to show me how to ride real ponies, so this mechanical one might be good practice. I don't have to worry about knowing how to steer or stop or anything!

Lucile laughs as her camel begins to move, "This feels so strange!" she says, gripping onto it as tightly as she can. A couple other children from second class join us, and we are friendly and inviting as we show them all the interesting things we've discovered. When we're all thrown out around 3, it's very disappointing.

The second class children are incredibly friendly, and the boys split apart to race each other down the decks, now that they're cleared off. The girls however, decide they'd like to go to one of the first class dining rooms to play with their dolls. I'm very tempted to go get mine and join them.

"Come on Alice, it'll be fun! I was playing in there yesterday with Billy, it's like our own private playroom and it's so pretty!" Lucile encourages. I shake my head and smile, "I don't think so today, but we could play tomorrow if you'd like?"

The girls agree, and we part ways after that. I stroll down the deck, intending on heading back to my stateroom to read. I decide cutting through one of the rooms the ladies take their tea in is the fastest way. As I enter the room, I hear a group of women say my father's name. Curious, I sit down at a table not far from them, keeping my back turned so they don't recognize me. They don't seem to have noticed I've walked in and keep on talking.

"That little tramp of Andrews' needs to go back to third class with the gutter rats, where she belongs," I hear one woman say.

That hurts me slightly, but I keep listening, "I don't know what he and Helen were thinking passing her off as their daughter. She's going to suck all the money right out of the family and claim it as her own."

My heart begins to break slightly as I hear them continue more, "I would never let anyone who was not blood related even touch my money! Especially when it's the blood of some dirty little ruffian."

A ruffian? A dirty ruffian? Is that what I am? I don't consider myself a ruffian, I've never hit or even pushed anyone before. Was it something I said? Or do they just think that because I was poor once that I'm violent? Maybe it was because I was slouching at dinner last night! Because I almost forgot to put my napkin on my lap! They thought I was a slob!

What makes things worse is they feel the need to continue talking, "She couldn't even afford a third class ticket before Thomas came along!"

"She should be thrown overboard, the dirt down in third class won't even want her!" They all laugh, and I believe that is the end of their conversation. Even if it's not, I'm leaving! Not even worth dirt? How could I be more worthless than dirt? How could they even say that about a person? I don't understand?

I walk out on the deck and take off in a sprint towards the gate that leads towards the back of the ship, towards third class. With each step the words of those women ring in my ears, and they're convincing me. They are right! I don't belong on this ship! I'm not the daughter of Mr. Andrews, I shouldn't pretend to be. I will end up just end up making them waste time and money on me. Time and money that should be going to Elba, his REAL daughter.

Suddenly I'm standing at the stern of the ship. I lean on the railing and look out to sea. I can hardly see the water through my tears, and I cling to the railing and let out sobs that make my chest hurt. What am I supposed to do? Should I jump? No, I'm too scared to do that! Maybe I should hide in third class until the voyage is over, and get off with all the poor people in America. Then I can be by myself again just like I was in Ireland!

"Hey, you ok?" a voice suddenly asks. I turn around to see a red haired boy, his hands shoved in his pockets casually and his cap is on slightly crooked. Before I can say anything he's right next to me, leaning on the rail and looking down at the water, "The water looks a bit choppy down there but I don't suppose that's worth crying over," he comments. I crack a smile and let out a little giggle through my tears at that, what a silly thing to cry over! I wish that was why I was crying though.

He look down at me, smiling kindly, "Name's Joey," he tells me, holding out his hand.

I swallow nervously, because mummy and daddy told me not to talk to strangers. But this man seems nice enough. "Alice" I reply, shaking his hand, why did I just tell him my name?

He smiles, "That's pretty. Say Alice, can I ask ya a question?" he asks.

I nod and he looks back down at the water briefly, "What's a first class little girl like you doing all the way back here cryin'?"

Should I tell him why I'm here? Should I open up to him all my problems? What have I got to lose? I stand up, but lean heavily against the railing and look out at the ocean rather than at Joey. "I, I shouldn't be in first class. I shouldn't even be in third class." With that, I open up and tell him practically my whole life story. And he listens! He actually stands there and listens to me.

When my story is finished the sky is beginning to darken, "I think those first class ladies were wrong. I think the third class would like ya, no, I lie. I think they'd love ya. Of course, there's only one way to find out!" he tells me.

Find out? "How is that?" I ask him, truly, my curiosity is peaked at this. He takes my hand and begins taking me into the ship, down stairs, and more stairs, and more stairs. Hey! I barely even know this guy! Where is he taking me? Down to third class? Well ok I suppose but where on earth is the third class located? Down in the pits of hell? I'm just going to have to put my faith in this total stranger. Angelica was a complete stranger a few days ago, I found out she was nice enough. Maybe the same is with this Joey fellow!

Finally we make it to a hallway, with large double doors at the end of it. There's loud music playing from behind those closed doors, I can hear it! It's like nothing I've ever heard before! Certainly a change from what they play up in the first class dining room! He opens the door and I'm blasted with the music, "Come along lass," he says, tugging on my arm and pulling me in. The scene before me is insane! The people have arranged the tables to the outside of the room, so there is a big open space in the middle where many couples are dancing and a band is playing. There are way too many people in this room! Not that they probably know, they probably can't read the occupation limit. That's fine, I can't read it either!

We sit down at a table and I watch in awe as the couples all dance to the lively jig the band is playing. Joey takes a sip of beer, but a young woman with a baby on her hip hands me a glass of water to drink. "Joey, I've told you everything about me, what are you going to America for?" I ask him, having to raise my voice quite a bit to be heard over the crowd. He looks pretty young to be by himself, maybe 16 or 17 at the oldest.

He laughs, "Horse ridin! The stable I ride for has a horse they're enterin in that American Derby that's goin on in May. The horse got sent ahead of me, now I'm goin after em so I can ride em in the race!" he explains. Wait! He rides race horses? Like, thoroughbred horses? Before I can question him on it he stands, downing the rest of the beer before grabbin my hand, "Come on! You look tense! Don't you first class kids know how to have fun?" When I merely blink up at him in bewilderment he pulls me to my feet, "Don't worry lass! I'll teach ya how ta have fun!" he tells me.

"I don't know this dance!" I tell him, stumbling with him up onto the platform. Other children run up and join us, speaking to me in many different languages that I can't understand. They all smile and laugh around me, having the time of their lives.

Joey spins me around, way more wildly than Mr. Andrews had the night before during our waltz. "I don't know the dance either! Just do whatever feels right to ya!" he tells me. Well ok! I know I shouldn't be doing this though, mummy would be having a heart attack if she found out I was partying with a bunch of drunk third class passengers that I didn't even know.

I continue to dance the night away with Joey and the other children though, he's such a fun guy! Not a serious bone in his body I don't think! He's just a big goofball! I find out that some of the children do in fact speak English, and they're lots of fun. They tell me all about where they're from and what their families plan to do in America. Even the ones that don't speak English dance and play with me as if they've known me all their lives, and I only wish I could learn their stories as well. I don't think I've ever felt this welcome anywhere! Except for daddy of course, he's always welcoming.

Wait a minute, what would daddy say about what I'm doing? DADDY! I stop and grab Joey, pulling him aside, "What time is it?" I ask him. He pulls out a pocket watch and glances at it, "Almost 1 in the mornin'," he tells me with a cheeky grin.

Almost one in the morning? Mr. Andrews must be having a heart attack! Then again, maybe he isn't, maybe he hasn't noticed! He has been rather busy lately. Even if he did notice, maybe he'd be glad that he wasn't stuck with me. From what those first class ladies were saying, I'm a burden. Besides, I'm having a lot of fun down here, maybe I do fit in better here and belong here. That's right! I'm having a good time down here in third class! With my newfound friend Joey, and all my other friends as well!

Unfortunately, I think it would probably be for the best if I returned to first class. I think I'm probably in a lot of trouble, and I know Daddy well enough to know that he does actually care about me, and that he would worry. Before I can tug on Joey's sleeve and ask him to bring me back, a familiar face causes me to freeze right in my tracks. There's a man sitting in the shadows on the other side of the room, surrounded by beer and playing a game of cards. He has only just noticed me, and when our eyes meet I am horrified to discover my real father staring back at me. What's he doing here?

"Oh my God," I breathe, my heart racing in my chest. I've never used God's name in vain before but, this is a very special instance! I'm sure I'll be forgiven for just this once! My real father stands, and begins pushing his way across the room towards me. I quickly tug on Joey's sleeve in an attempt to get his attention, but it's too late.

"Well well well, will ya lookie at who managed to sneak aboard?" the man drunkenly slurs.

Joey finally turns, narrowing his eyes at my father, "Oye, leave the lass alone will ya?"

My real father shoves him, getting close to his face, "What's she to you?"

I take the opportunity to attempt to sneak out, but my father grabs me by the back of the dress before I can slip into the crowd. Joey immediately shoves him, hard. "Just leave 'er alone will ya?"

Other men notice the trouble starting and intervene as well.

"Keep yer hands off 'er!"

"Mind ya own business!"

"Sod off!"

"Bloody make me!"

More people are beginning to look and my heart is in my throat. I don't want this much attention! Perhaps this was a bad idea after all! My father throws the first punch, missing his target wildly. After that, all hell breaks loose. Groups of men come to break up the fight, some of them starting drunken brawls of their own. Joey grabs me by the arm and pulls me out of the room, dragging me back towards the stairwell.

When we arrive back at the deck where we met, he stops to catch his breath. "You know that guy?" he asks me.

I nod, "That was my real father. I have no idea why he's here, but he told me if he ever saw me again he'd kill me." My heart is racing and I can hardly catch my breath, suddenly I don't feel safe. How can I feel safe? Titanic is large indeed, but is she large enough? There's truly nowhere to run or hide!

As we approach the gate that will lead me to the first class deck he sighs, "Well I'm sorry he's spoiled yer evenin', but overall I told ya those first class ladies of yours were wrong. Now listen Alice. Ya gotta makes me a promise now before you go back."

A promise? I just met him a few hours ago! Oh well, he did defend me and show me a really fun time. I agree to make the promise and he opens the gate for me, "Ignore those first class ladies, they're just jealous they don't know how to have as much fun as you. Don't change because of them, I'd be mighty sad if you did!" he tells me.

I feel a lot better now thanks to Joey, and I thank him. "Good luck in the Kentucky Derby, you know, when you run in it."

He laughs, "Ah, the horse ain't worth nothin. But once I'm in America, I can find a betta horse! A big fast one! And I'll win that ol' derby! I will!" he tells me.

I'm standing on the first class deck now, the gate closing and separating us, "Goodbye Joey" I say.

Before Joey can respond a door slams open, it's my father! How did he manage to get out of there? He points at me, "Hey! I'm not done with you yet girly!" he calls.

Joey pushes me, "Run Alice! I'll try to hold him off," he says. I thank him under my breath before turning and running down the deck. I only run a few feet before skidding to a halt to see if Joey manages to hold him off. Unfortunately for him, my real father is bigger, and shoves right past him and manages to get through the gate separating third class from first. With nothing between us now, I know that it's all up to me to protect myself.

Turning, I take off running as quickly as my legs will carry me. I, poor little Alice Andrews, don't stand a chance if the man behind me manages to catch me. But, as crazed as he is, he's not my biggest concern right now. My thoughts lie on Mr. Andrews, I hope he isn't too worried. If only I knew how to get to our stateroom from here, I would run straight there. But now all I can do is sprint down this deck and hope that I run into someone, anyone, who can help me.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm hardly on the first class deck a few moments and already I am in the midst of yet another chase. Why do I always end up in this position? I'm not going to fall down this time though! This isn't like the Harland and Wolff shipyard, there's nothing to get in my way and I've learned from my mistakes. Picking up my skirts, I run as fast as my little legs can carry me, only glancing back once.

Unfortunately for me, my real father is far fitter than Mr. Ismay was 2 years ago. He's probably got far more stamina than Ismay as well, which means I won't out-last him if I don't find help soon. He's gaining on me! I dig my feet into the deck harder, dodging under boat davits and leaping down stairs in an attempt to throw him off. It doesn't hold him up long enough, and as I race down the deck I try to think of something, anything that will get me away from him!

Suddenly more people are involved in the chase than just the brute behind me. Mr. Andrews must have sent the crew to search for me, for suddenly several crewmembers have joined in the chase, some attempting to snag me as I race past while others try to cut me off or run me down. One of them just barely misses my collar, which only motivates me to run further. At one point I nearly pause, as I spot Mr. Andrews and the master at arms coming out onto the A deck promenade. They look up in surprise as I run straight past them, my real father and a small group of crew members in hot pursuit. I don't even look back to see their reactions, I just keep running.

I'm not sure how long I keep up the chase, but I don't slow down at any point. The adrenaline keeps me going until I finally believe I've managed to shake off the last of the crew members, though my drunken father is still hot on my tail. I make to duck into a doorway when suddenly I run smack into someone and end up falling flat on my back.

"Alice?" Oh great, I've just run straight into Mr. Ismay! He immediately helps me to my feet and takes my hand, "Thank God! Your father has had us out all night looking for you! Are you quite all right?" he asks me.

I turn around in a panic, attempting to run off but he holds my arm firmly. "What in heaven's name is the matter with you?" he asks.

A moment later he has his answer as my drunken sire barrels around the corner and also nearly smacks right into Mr. Ismay. "I beg your pardon sir but just where do you think you're going?"

My real father is red in the face and drenched in sweat, he points a meaty finger at me, "Reclaiming stolen property, hand the girly over and I won't cause a fuss. I'd hate to have to bloody your regal face."

To my surprise, Mr. Ismay doesn't even flinch at the comment. "You take one step further and I will see to it that you are locked away for the rest of the voyage or better yet, the rest of your life. Do you know who you're talking to you brute?"

"Alice ye little shite, got yerself a foppish twit here defendin' ya eh?" In the blink of an eye I've been yanked into his arms, "Too bad he ain't quite the fighting type."

Mr. Ismay looks downright furious, which would have been almost comedic if not for the circumstances. I'm absolutely terrified, this man said he'd kill me! And I believe he'll do it! I try to break out of his grasp, but he's far too strong. I look up at Mr. Ismay, who seems shocked and unsure, but then he mouths something to me that might save my life.

Taking the deepest breath I've even taken, I scream. I scream loud and hard, not even caring who I wake up, though I'm sure the entire ship heard it. My real father clamps a hand over my mouth, but by then it's too late. I've already sounded the alarm, and I spot crewmembers and two officers heading in our direction. One of the officers pulls a gun, "Put your hands up and step away from the girl!"

Mr. Andrews comes with the master at arms not a moment later, but my real father is still holding my arm tightly. "Arrest this man at once!" Mr. Ismay orders, rather impatiently. They're still pointing a gun at us, trying to get him to let me go. But he isn't moving.

I stand quietly for all of a second, before stomping on the man's foot as hard as I can. He stumbles back drunkenly, "Come here Alice!" Mr. Andrews calls, and without a second thought I run directly into his arms. The officers and the master at arms put my real father in handcuffs and drag him down the deck. We're told we have to go too, to fill out paperwork or something, but I don't want to go!

Mr. Ismay seems quite flustered and even a little worried. The uncle thing comes to mind again and I try to smile reassuringly up at him, "Mr. Ismay, I'm fine," I tell him, huffing and puffing as I try to catch my breath. It's sorta a lie, but not entirely. It's just not the whole truth that's all!

As Mr. Andrews checks me over for injuries Mr. Ismay straightens out his tailcoat indignantly, "I never got my brandy and cigars tonight! I hope you had a good time Alice! Because the rest of the crew and I most certainly did not have a good time looking for you!" Gee, he's a little bent out of shape isn't he? One night without brandy and cigars isn't the end of the world! Oh wait, this is grumpy ol' Mr. Ismay we're talking about, never mind.

Mr. Andrews glares up at him, "Ismay, enough," he says, more harshly than I've ever heard him speak before. Now that I'm over my shock, I can't help but lower my head and feel rather ashamed of myself. This wouldn't have happened if I'd just stayed on the first class deck like I was told. Mr. Andrews looks up at me, the look in his eyes, oh how terrible I feel! I turn back to Mr. Ismay for support but he's nowhere in sight. Figures the moment I actually want to be in his company, he ditched me! He was pretty fast about it too! Didn't even say goodnight!

Once he's certain I'm all right, he wordlessly takes my hand and leads me to the elevator. I know where we're going, and I'm trying to prepare myself for it. Yet nothing on this whole earth can prepare me for what I'm about to face when I walk into that room. Feeling almost in a daze, I follow Mr. Andrews right in. My real father is sitting in a chair, handcuffed and restrained by two men. The masters at arms is sitting behind his desk.

I watch Mr. Andrews grit his teeth as he attempts to ignore my real father spitting and cussing in his direction while he tries to get on with paperwork with the master at arms. However when the man begins threatening me Daddy finally snaps, "Don't you dare threaten my daughter!"

"Your daughter? YOU? HA! So you're the shipbuilder who I signed this little brat over to? Well I'm taking her back, you're too good for her!"

"I suggest you hold your tongue! You've given up all rights to her, she's my child!"

"She a good fer nothin' mistake!"

"The only person good for nothing in this room is YOU sir!"

They continue to argue until I can't take it anymore. Turning on my heels, I attempt to bolt from the room, but am blocked off by an officer standing in the doorway. My heart is racing and I feel as though I can hardly breathe. It's as if my real father is choking me with his gaze rather than his hands. Am I drowning? It feels like I'm drowning. I feel like I'm going to die for sure.

Mr. Andrews approaches me slowly and I back against the wall in fright. The closer he gets, the more afraid I become, like a trapped animal. This is all my fault that he's angry! I didn't mean to cause any trouble! I just, needed to get away for a little while! Or did I? No, the original reason I went away so long was for a stupid reason! I don't think Mr. Andrews would strike me, he never has before. But I've never made him THIS angry or upset before. If he doesn't perhaps my real father will leap right out of the chair he sits in now and beat me within an inch of my life.

Suddenly Mr. Andrews takes one step too close and I collapse to the floor, huddling against the wall and holding my arms above my head, waiting to be stuck. Wait, wait why hasn't it happened yet? I peak up at him and he merely stands there, frozen with a shocked look on his face. He slowly kneels down in front of me, holding out a hand towards me, "Alice?" he asks, "Alice I'm not going to hit you darling, I..."

This night has gone on so long! My chest is heaving as I struggle for breath, my stays feel as though they're constricting me and it's made worse by the feeling that the walls are closing in on me. I'm being surrounded! I stand, preparing to make one final attempt to run for my life. I don't realize I've been holding my breath until the room goes dark and I feel myself falling into Mr. Andrews' arms.

I'm not completely unaware of my surroundings. I feel Mr. Andrews lie me on the floor and immediately begin rubbing my chest, "Breathe Alice! You're all right sweetheart, please breathe." He sounds incredibly worried and I gasp for air, but with these stupid stays I can't get a deep enough of a breath to recover.

The master at arms growls at my real father, "Bloody hell you've scared the poor girl half to death, have you no shame?"

Gently, Mr. Andrews picks me up off the floor like I weigh nothing, cradling me against his chest. I suppose they're going to sort this all out officially tomorrow, when I'm not here. I feel so weak, and nearly lose my senses completely a few times on the walk back to the stateroom.

"Shhhh, it's all right darling! You're safe, there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm not angry with you," he tells me gently carries me to my bedroom, lying me on the bed then sitting next to me. I can't stop myself from shaking and Mr. Andrews pets my hair back in a soothing motion. I want to cry, and I feel my eyes well up with tears, but I'm just too weak and exhausted to cry them at this very moment. Instead I focus on his steady hand and his voice as he speaks to me.

"Nothing's going to harm you, not while I'm around. Rest easy my dear sweet darling. No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare. I'll keep you safe." Finally I manage to catch my breath, and I open my eyes to look up at him. He looks deeply concerned, and I feel just horrible. He smiles gently when I meet his gaze. "Why were you on the third class deck?" he asks me calmly.

I feel like such a fool! But I tell him, I tell him about what those women had said, about me contemplating hiding in third class and running away when we reached America. I tell him about Joey, and how he brought me down to the lower decks to cheer me up and prove those women wrong and how my real father was down there.

Throughout my terrible tale I begin to sniffle and eventually burst into fits of sobbing. It all sounds so foolish even to me! Daddy is patient though, continuing to stroke my hair and hushing me when I begin to get worked up. Once I finally manage to finish my story I'm calmer than before, but tears still roll down my cheeks in a steady stream. How could I be frightened of Mr. Andrews? Exhaustion must be clouding my judgment. He speaks to me softly, "Mind if I get up for a moment?" he asks after a moment.

I shake my head and he stands, beginning to search the room for something. It's a little cold now that he isn't near me anymore. I watch him as he scans the room, rummaging through my jewelry box and finally settling on something. He sits back down next to me with the object, "Give me your hand," he tells me. What is he up to? I give him my hand and continue to wonder what he's planning to do.

He gently takes my hand, his face quite serious which makes me slightly uneasy. "You're going to feel a prick, do you trust me?" he asks. What a question to ask me after I just assumed he would hit me! But do I trust him? Of course I do! With my life!

I nod, "I trust you," I tell him. He takes the object and pokes my finger, drawing blood. Hey! I just told him I trust him and yet he's drawing my blood? What's the meaning of this? To further my shock he goes ahead and draws blood from his own finger.

Now that we're both bleeding, he takes my finger and touches my bleeding spot to his, holding it there for a long moment. "There, you're my blood daughter now," he tells me.

There is a long moment of silence before I finally manage a confused, "What?"

He chuckles lightly, "You told me those women were saying that you weren't my child by blood. Well, now my blood is in you and yours is in me. Therefore, it would make sense, that we are blood related now," he explains. His reasoning makes a lot of sense, as gross and strange as it seems, I am actually overjoyed! I'm his blood daughter now! Not just some abandoned tramp, I have the blood of Thomas Andrews in me! That sounds so bizarre and amazing at the same time, I don't know what to say!

As gently as he's done everything else so far tonight, he wraps my finger up and kisses it, "Alice, I would never hit you for any reason. You know that don't you?" he asks me. I feel tears begin to slide down my cheeks again, I feel absolutely terrible. I made him worry about me all night, then I tried to run from him and fainted right into his arms in a dead heap. I must have given him quite a fright! Yet after all that, he still does me the ultimate kindness, how can I repay him?

I reach my arms up to him from where I lie and he wraps his arms around me in a comforting embrace, "Hey" he says.

Before I can answer 'what' he pokes me in the side. I jump slightly, "No! Don't do that," I murmur to him, trying to hide my slight smile by burying my face in his shoulder. Secretly, I'm incredibly ticklish, even a slight poke in the side can cause me to jump.

But to my horror he begins tickling me, "Do what?" he asks me innocently. I can't stop laughing as I try to get him to stop! This is so improper! Mummy would be cross that we're acting this way! What if we wake up our neighbors! How rude and embarrassing that would be!

"Daddy that tickles!" I tell him. This seems to motivate him further and I can hardly breathe I'm laughing so hard, "Daddy! Daddy stop that!" I tell him.

He pauses for a moment "Well, I'll only stop on one condition," he tells me.

I'm still giggling slightly as I try to recover from his attack, "What?" I ask him.

He cups my cheek in his hand and wipes his thumb under my eye, wiping away the few remaining tears "No more tears for the rest of this trip. All right? This is supposed to be a joyful occasion. The maiden voyage of our ship!" he tells me.

"Our ship?" I ask, this isn't mine! This is his ship, well, his and Mr. Ismay's ship! I have no part in it!

He smiles, "Yes, it's ours. We both spent an equal amount of time with her didn't we?" I suppose he's right, although he certainly had better times with her than I've had.

Finally he stands, "I'll change you tonight, it's too late to call the maid." Carefully, he unbuttons my dress and unlaces my stays. At last! I can breathe! He pulls me nightgown over my head before tucking me in and kissing me on the top of the head. "Goodnight my sweet girl, pleasant dreams."

As he walks out, he suddenly stops and turns back to me, "Oh yes, just to make sure you don't get yourself into trouble again, I'm arranging for you to have an escort tomorrow." An escort? Really? He must be joking right? Maybe it's my punishment! But who could he possibly have to lead me around the ship tomorrow and babysit? Some poor steward with nothing better to do? The maid? Who?

* * *

"Alice, do try to keep up with me," I am secretly hating my daddy this morning. After being woken up at 9 o clock, sharp, I was informed by Mr. Andrews on who my 'escort' would be. I began to dread the rest of my day the moment his name came out of my father's mouth, Mr. Ismay. And now here I am! Reluctantly following the pompous man all over the ship. He's been everywhere! Bothering everyone! I'm fearful for the moment he runs out of people to tell about Titanic, because then he'll turn to me! Oh wait, it is all going to fall on me, because we've just sat down for tea and there's nobody around. Great, just perfect!

We've barely been sitting here for 5 minutes and already he's been grumbling about iceberg warnings the ship has been receiving. He says to me, "Alice, I don't understand why they feel compelled to give us this information. This is an unsinkable ship! A little bit of ice will not pose a threat to us!" Maybe when he thinks of icebergs he thinks of the cute little ice cubes that are served in lemonade, that's definitely not what I think of when I think iceberg though.

There is one question burning on my mind though that I just have to ask him "What makes you think this ship is unsinkable?"

He stares at me with shock as if I just questioned God himself. I sip my tea and patiently await his response, which he seems to be mulling over for some reason. He seems so sure this ship can't sink, and yet when I ask him why he thinks so he can't even answer right away? That seems kinda odd! Finally he speaks "Thomas designed her to be unsinkable! That's his job! If I didn't believe he could make my ship unsinkable, then I wouldn't have hired him to build it. White Star Line only has the best after all!"

Even when he talks about the man who built the boat he still boasts as though he was the one who actually built it! And my father doesn't even work for White Star Line, he works for Harland and Wolff! Then again, daddy does claim it was Mr. Ismay's idea first, but it's one thing to dream up a ship, it's a completely different story to be the person who actually willed it into reality.

There's an awkward silence between us before Mr. Ismay shoots into asking me how I like the ship. I feel like he has asked me this already, multiple times. Patience, mummy told me to be patient, and polite! "I love this ship," I merely reply, taking another sip of tea. I really wish I was playing with Lucile and my other new friends right now, I saw her in passing earlier and told her I'd have to wait yet another day to play dolls with her. It really stinks!

Mr. Ismay begins speaking about Titanic some more, saying stuff I already knew. You'd think as the shipbuilder's daughter I'd know some things about this ship! You'd think that I'd know a few things just by living under it, by stealing food off it!

Really though, the more time I spend with Ismay, the less I really care about his boasting. I suppose he could be tolerable, if I can just get him to talk about something besides this ship! Now would be the perfect time, as we're sitting down for tea and not running around the deck like crazy people. Just gotta get his mind off the ship, and he'll be all right! At least, I hope so! "So Mr. Ismay. Do you have any other interests besides White Star Line?" I ask him. Ok, maybe being direct is a little rude, but I don't think he notices the difference if I'm asking about him!

"Well, I used to be quite the lawn-tennis player back in my younger years. Why do you ask?" he answers. I shrug my shoulders, "I was just curious. Well, actually, no offense to you Mr. Ismay, but I'm beginning to get tired of hearing you talk about Titanic. You've been doing nothing but talk about her all day!"

For the second time today, he looks shocked I would say such a thing. But then, oddly enough, he smiles! "I suppose you're right. I'm excited for her success is all. We can talk about something else. How about America? Have you ever been to New York?" he asks. Like I, of all people, will have been to New York! I've never even been on a ship before!

He chuckles as he realizes his mistake, "Oh, sorry. Well here, I'll tell you all about New York!" And he does! And believe it or not, I actually enjoy listening to him tell me about New York. About streets so crowded you can hardly move, a building that is 23 stories tall, and about a place called Coney Island with something called rollercoasters. And he told me about how the city never sleeps! Someone is always doing stuff! There are these things called 'vaudeville shows' that have the most talented singers and dancers you'll ever see! I asked him about the streets being paved with gold, he said they aren't, but the food is amazing!

Even the sandwiches are amazing! But he says there are these things that are a lot better than sandwiches, called hot dogs. I don't know what that is, but it sounds really good! All this talk about New York has made us lose track of time though, and suddenly we hear the bugler out on the deck announcing dinner. Mr. Ismay and I fly to our feet and he quickly checks his pocket watch, "Damn, I told Thomas I'd have you back an hour ago! Come on!" he says. He takes my hand and we practically run through the decks and down the stairs to my stateroom.

Daddy is pacing the room waiting for us. I burst through the door, "Daddy! I'm sorry we're late!" I tell him.

Mr. Ismay leans against the doorframe, out of breath, "Sorry Thomas, she and I were talking and lost track of time." I burst out laughing, wasn't the point of Mr. Ismay babysitting me so that I would be back on time and wouldn't get into trouble?

Oh well, daddy doesn't seem angry about it, "You can tell me what was so interesting as to keep you at dinner." He turns to me, "Alice, what do you have to say?" he asks.

I step forward, "Thank you for accompanying me today" I say politely.

Mr. Ismay offers me a small smile, "It was my pleasure." With that, he leaves and daddy closes the door behind him.

I sit on the couch and look up at him, "Daddy, when we get to New York I wanna eat a hot dog! And I wanna see Coney Island! And ride a roller coaster! Have you ever been on one of those? And I want to see the horse races like you promised! And I wanna..."

He chuckles, "We're going to be late for dinner sweetheart. Angelica is waiting for you in your room. Hurry and get changed. You can tell me everything at dinner."

As my quiet little maid dresses me for dinner, I can't help but think what a weird day this has been. The oddest part being I actually enjoyed my time with Mr. Ismay, well, some of the time. What he told me about New York was so interesting though! The sights, the sounds, the way he talked on and on and on about it, I felt like I was practically there! And I don't even think he told me everything he wanted to! Well, time for another dinner. Once my hair is done I thank Angelica and go out into the sitting room, taking my father's arm and letting him lead me to dinner. Our arrival in New York harbor won't come soon enough!

**A/N: Hello hello everyone! Sorry for the delay, I had to go critique a high school show's dress rehearsal for Annie yesterday. Now tonight and tomorrow I am attending the actual shows. I also was having a bit of trouble with this chapter, but I think I'm satisfied with it now. So uh, yeah, that kept me busy. On the bright side, I'm finished with college until August! Exciting right? Hooray! As always, please PLEASE review, and Thanks for Reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

My tummy doesn't really feel the greatest this morning. I think I ate something that it didn't like at dinner last night. I don't feel as though I'll vomit, but it is rather a dull, uncomfortable ache. I'd rather not eat much today, if that's possible. They always serve so much food though, is it rude to refuse 9 out of 10 courses?

My tummy-ache woke me up this morning, and I decide to lie awake in bed until daddy comes in to wake me up. He must be surprised to see me awake already.

"Alice? What has you awake this morning? Are you feeling all right?" he asks, looking concerned as he approaches my bed.

I sit up, feeling a little tired and groggy, "Dinner and I didn't like each other," I tell him.

He presses the back of his hand to my forehead, "You don't feel feverish. Do you feel nauseous?" I shake my head. Honestly I don't feel horrible, I've felt much worse than this! I think maybe my tummy's just upset from not being used to eating huge 10 course meals with food that I can't even name.

Mr. Andrews pets my hair back. "No more 10 course meals for you I think. My poor darling, I should have known better than to let you eat that much after eating so little so long. I'm sorry."

He's right about me not eating much. The past two years while I've been with him and Mrs. Andrews, they've been careful never to feed me too much at once. I remember my first few weeks they only gave me a bit of bread and milk for breakfast, and a bowl of broth for dinner. They worked me up, giving me more and more as time went on. But I've never eaten more than a few courses at dinner. On a regular day I only eat one!

"Perhaps you should stay here and rest a while," he says.

Once again, I shake my head, "No no daddy, I think I'll be ok. Really! I promised Lucile I would play dollies with her today! I wanna go!"

He seems to be thinking this over for a moment, before standing, "Stay in bed for a moment, I've got an idea," he says. He leaves the room for a while, and returns with a steaming cup of tea which he places in front of me. "Here darling, drink this and take a short nap, and I promise you'll be just fine today."

I take the drink and begin sipping it slowly, being careful not to burn myself with the hot liquid. It doesn't really taste like normal tea. I look up at him, "What is this?" I ask.

"Ginger root tea, it's good for tummy aches."

After I finish the tea he tucks me in and begins stroking my hair back. His hand is warm and soothing and I feel myself beginning to fall asleep. "You'll wake me up in a little while? Promise?"

"I'll be right here, and I'll wake you in no more than two hours, I promise," he replies. Assured by his words, I allow myself to fall asleep. I'm woken up 2 hours later, as Mr. Andrews promised. He's sitting by my side, writing away in his journal. I wonder what time it is, I certainly feel a lot better than I did earlier.

He smiles at me and takes my hand, "How are you feeling darling?" he asks me.

I smile back as best I can at him, I still feel a bit tired from just having woken up, but my tummy no longer hurts as it did before! "Better than this morning."

He squeezes my hand, "I'm glad. Now Angelica is here to dress you for the day, so I'll leave you to it." He leaves the room and is replaced by my maid, who seems a little more confident today. I guess she's getting the hang of our routine and isn't so worried about it anymore. She walks right over to my closet and easily picks out a pale green dress for me to wear. She helps me change quickly, brushing my hair and tying it with a matching green bow. I thank her as she leaves, before grabbing my dolly and Fluffy the sheep and heading into the sitting room.

Daddy's sitting at his desk, concentrating on some paperwork. I don't particularly wish to interrupt him, but I do have a question burning on my mind at the moment. "Daddy, when are we supposed to arrive in New York?"

This trip is taking such a long time! He looks up at me and pats my head affectionately, "The 17th," he replies.

"And what day is it today?" I ask him. "The 14th," is his answer.

I groan, "But that means we're going to be at sea for 3 more days!"

This causes him to laugh, "Tomorrow I'm sure you'll find something to do on the ship. But today, just be careful while you play and if you feel ill at all you come straight back here all right?"

I nod, before turning to go. I glance over my shoulder at his notebook, which is sitting open on his desk. "What were you writing in that notebook?" I ask him curiously. He always seems to be writing in it, I don't think I've seen him once on this trip without that book in his hand. I want to know what it says.

He picks it up, "Oh just some improvements to add to the ship. Everyone seems to think it's perfect, but it's not."

I can't help but sigh, "Just like everyone thinks this ship is unsinkable?" I comment.

Daddy frowns at this, "The press started calling these ships unsinkable, and Ismay was leadin' the chorus. It's just not true," he tells me. Well, he and I both seem to know that the ship could sink, but I trust the captain won't put us in any danger. Besides, no matter what my daddy says, I know he built Titanic strong, with watertight compartments and such. It would be very hard to sink her, not impossible, but I don't think we'll sink!

"Ok, that's all I think. I'm going to go find Lucile now!" I tell him. I bid him goodbye and head out, placing my dolly on Fluffy's back so she can ride him down the hall. I roll him along beside me, as though walking a dog. I keep a careful eye on her, just to make sure she doesn't fall off. She's not very secure. I'm not watching where I'm walking when suddenly I run right smack into someone.

"Oh gee, I'm so sorry ma-am!" I say, looking up. To my surprise and a little bit horror, it's Maggie Brown!

She doesn't seem phased in the slightest. "Alice! Kiddo you have to watch where you're going when you're walking down the hallway!" She doesn't say it unkindly, in fact she's smiling as though she's rather amused by it all.

"I'm sorry, I was making sure my doll didn't fall off Fluffy," I say, stepping aside so she can see.

Maggie laughs, "What a fancy lookin' sheep that is! I never had something as fancy as that!"

Wait, what? "You didn't?" I ask. She's a first class lady, why wouldn't she have something as simple as a sheep and a doll?

Yet she shakes her head when I ask, "No honey, my family didn't have a lot of money growing up and I had two brothers and three sisters too. There wasn't much to go around, but we made do. How's your father doing? I haven't seen much of him around."

"He's been very busy. But Mrs. Brown, I have a question."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Well, are the first class ladies mean to you too? For not having much growing up I mean," I ask.

She frowns, "Mean? What do you mean by that, have they said something to you?" When I tell her what I overheard she just rolls her eyes, "Oh honey don't you worry about what they say, it's just petty gossip. Don't be afraid to be yourself Alice, people will only like you more for it in the end, trust me."

I know she's right, because she's not the only person to have said it. But, it's hard advice to follow. I just wish those ladies wouldn't say mean things just because of where I came from. "Don't be embarrassed about where you came from, it hardly matters now. You know what they say, there's no time like the present!" She pats me on the head before stepping to the side, "I'm going to go see if I can get your father out for some fresh air, it's not healthy for him to overwork himself. Take care of yourself kiddo!"

"I will! Thank you Mrs. Brown!" I call, before running down the hall pushing Fluffy and my dolly. I find Lucile and Billy on the promenade deck, Billy holding the leash of a very cute dog.

"Alice! Oh my, I love that sheep! How sweet he looks!" she exclaims, bending down to pet it.

Meanwhile I reach down to pat Billy's little dog, which sniffs and licks my hand playfully. Billy smiles broadly, "He's my pal! I'm taking him for a walk today!"

"Be careful Billy, Mama will be upset if you don't come in on time," Lucile says. Billy shrugs and waves before running down the deck with the dog romping beside him.

Lucile rolls her eyes, "Boys are so dumb sometimes. Come on, the other girls are already in there. We're having a tea party!"

When we arrive in one of the veranda cafés, the place is deserted except for our group of girls. Lucile and I are the only ones from first class, the others are all from second class. You would hardly know looking at us though, they are dressed pretty similarly to us. The youngest ones run under tables, playing games of tag, while the older ones sit in the large wicker chairs with their tiny china tea sets. Their dolls sit on the tabletop, too small to sit in the chairs.

Lucile and I sit ourselves with the older girls. One girl, Marjorie, or Lottie as she likes to be called, is sitting next to me with her doll in her lap. It looks well-worn and loved, and while not quite as elaborate or fancy as mine or Lucile's dolls, still looks presentable. Next to her is Robertha, who prefers just Bertha. The two of them befriended one another earlier in the voyage apparently. There are two other girls at our table as well, Eva and Nina. While not related, the two of them stick together as though they've known each other their whole lives and are the best of friends.

The younger girls running around ask nicely to play with my sheep, and gleefully they race around the room, pushing the sheep under the tables and pretending to be sheep themselves, which we find rather amusing. I keep an eye on them to make sure they don't break Fluffy, but they seem to be careful, so I eventually bring my full attention to the group of girls I'm sitting with.

"Alice why were you walking around with that annoying man yesterday?" Lucile asks, wrinkling her nose. The other girls giggle, I suppose Lucile told them about it.

"Who? Mr. Ismay?" I ask. She nods and I sigh, "It was my punishment for being naughty two nights ago."

The other girls lean forward, "Oh do tell!" Bertha says, looking extremely curious.

I smile, "I went to the third class part of the ship, and I went to a grand party there and didn't leave until 1 in the morning!" I say proudly.

All of the girls at the table gasp. "You stayed up that late?" Eva asks, wide-eyed.

"Yes, it was grand! It was so much fun! The music was so lively and the people were so friendly!" Well, most of the people were friendly. All except one.

"I'd never be able to stay up that late," Lottie comments, hugging her doll tightly to her chest. "I wouldn't venture into third class either, I'd probably get lost down there! There's so many places to get lost on our decks alone, it must be even easier to get lost down further in the ship!"

I smile sheepishly, "Well, it is really easy to get lost down there. All the corridors look exactly the same, but I had a guide with me, and even if I hadn't, I know this ship like the back of my hand."

"I don't, I don't think I've even seen half of it yet!" Bertha says, taking a dainty sip of her tea, which is really just water.

Eva laughs, "You could probably spend your whole life on this ship and never see the whole thing!"

Our group continues to converse until a steward comes in and tells us it's getting close to dinner time. We all clean up our toys, and I put my dolly back on the sheep before rolling back towards my stateroom. I admit, at one point when the hallway is deserted I run the sheep down the hallway and try to mount it and ride it down the hall, but I'm too big and I don't get very far.

As I walk in, Mr. Andrews hardly notices me until I say hello to him. He looks up from his paperwork, "Hello Alice! How do you feel darling?"

"I feel fine daddy, I had a lovely day today! Are we going to dinner soon?"

He looks at his pocket watch and nods, "Yes, I'll call for your maid to come in just a little bit. I must finish writing this so might you please go play in your room quietly so I can concentrate?"

I wonder what he's up to, but I nod and does as he asks, walking into my room and closing the door. I sit on the floor with Fluffy, my dolly, and my teddy. As I play, I can't help but think of how I miss Mummy. Daddy says she doesn't like to travel. He claims that Elba wouldn't have liked the trip either. But I think Elba would have liked this big ship just as much as I'm liking it! She and I could have played on the deck together, or I could have read with her. And I wouldn't have looked like a bad reader in front of the other first class passengers because the books she likes would have been easy enough for me to read!

Mummy would be here to dress me and we could have tea together. She would tell me what every utensil at the dinner table was for, and how to behave and what to say. I know she taught me a lot of manners, but I still feel out of place! I suppose I shouldn't dwell on it though, I'll see her when I get back from this trip. Yea! And I'll show her all the things I did in America! Maybe I can get her something nice, I don't know what she'd want, but something good!

I wonder how Joey is doing down in 3rd class, I'd like to visit him again! He was such a fun person to be with, not to say that I don't enjoy the company of the first class people, I do. But these people would never throw a party quite like the one I saw a few nights ago!

I begin to ponder whatever comes to mind after that. The horses Mr. Andrews promised to show me in America are the first things that I think of, what does a running horse look like? I don't think there are any pictures of galloping horses in the book I tried to read. I heard that horses fly when they run, I'd like to see for myself! How can something so big fly? Suddenly Angelica knocks on my door and comes in to dress me for dinner.

Mr. Andrews smiles at me as I come out, and offers his arm like usual to go to dinner. He looks troubled, and I find that strange. "What's the matter Daddy?" I ask him as we walk.

A look of surprise flashes across his face before he smiles and chuckles softly, "You miss nothing do you Alice?" He pauses for a few moments, looking almost lost in thought. "I miss your mother and Elba, that's all," he finally says. I don't think that's all it is, but I don't want to pry and upset him further.

"I miss them too. We should pick them out something nice in New York and bring it back as a present!" I suggest.

He nods, "That's a grand idea Alice."

At dinner, he seems to cheer up a bit. We're sitting with the ship's doctor. I don't pay much mind to the conversation daddy has with him. Instead I eat my single course of chicken soup quietly, observing things going on around the room. The band is playing, rich people are eating and talking. There aren't many people in here today, and I can't help but wonder where everyone is.

Maggie Brown is sitting with the Astors again, telling them some sort of hilarious story from the sounds of it. Everyone at her table is laughing about it. The longer we sit, the more fidgety I feel. I just can't sit still, I'm so bored! I'm drawn away from my observations by daddy nudging me. "Come on Alice, we're turning in early tonight," he tells me.

He must have noticed me, and suddenly I feel embarrassed. I take his hand and together we return to our stateroom. We take a bit of a detour though, and end up outside. The stars are bright in the sky, and the ocean is calm and silent. It's almost as though the ship is gliding over nothing rather than sailing on the ocean. The deck is empty, which is understandable since it's a bit cold out.

Mr. Andrews sits down in a deck chair, lounging back a bit in it. I sit in the chair next to him, "Are you ok Daddy?"

"Just tired, that's all. Mr. Ismay and Mrs. Brown both stopped me today and told me to take a break. So, I'm taking one for a little while. I just feel as though there's so much to be done and so little time left in the voyage to do it!"

Unsure what to do, I look up at the stars, "The sky is so pretty tonight."

"That it is," he replies, before growing quiet. I lie back in my own chair, copying my father by just lying back and staring at the sky. Neither of us says anything for a long time, but just being together after having spent so much time apart on this voyage still feels nice. I don't think I'll ever not enjoy Mr. Andrews' company.

He is the first to break the silence, "Do you know any constellations?" he asks.

I glance over at him, "No, why do you?"

Mr. Andrews laughs softly, "Only one, the big dipper. It's right there," he says, pointing up into the sky. I look to where he's pointing and watch as he traces out the shape of a large ladle in the sky.

"Did you know the first star you see is the wishing star?" I asked him after a long moment.

"Is it now?"

"Yeah, that's what I heard."

"What do you wish for Alice?"

"Nothing now, I'm saving my wishes for something important."

"Oh? What sort of something?"

"I'm not sure yet. It hasn't happened yet. My past wish came true though, so that's why I'm savin' my wishes for something important."

"What did you wish for?"

"To be a princess," I reply.

Mr. Andrews sits up at that, looking down at me. "And what a beautiful princess you are, my sweet darling girl!" He takes out his watch and looks at the time, frowning at it. "We should return to the stateroom now. It's getting late and I do have a few more things to do tonight."

I stand up and take his hand, and together we return to the stateroom. Angelica is there, and she helps me into my nightgown before leaving. I walk out into the sitting room, plopping down on the couch with the horse book in hand.

Daddy glances at me from his desk, "Shouldn't you be going to sleep?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Can't I just stay out here for a little while? I'm not tired yet! I'll be quiet I promise!"

He nods his head in consent and turns to his work. I flip through the pages of my book and study each picture. I can still hardly believe there are so many different kinds of horses, and they all look so different from each other! I'm only distracted once, by the chandelier above my head jingling slightly. It only lasts a moment, then it stops. I look over at my father, feeling a little uneasy about it at first. How would that happen? He's so focused on whatever paper is in front of him that he doesn't seem to have noticed. If he didn't even notice, then I'm sure it's nothing to worry about at all.

**A/N: Ginger root tea for tummy aches, seriously. It works apparently. WebMD told me so. On another note, all the girls that Alice went to play with were actual kids on the Titanic, and all survived the tragedy. Eva in particular is none other than Eva Hart, a very famous child survivor of the Titanic. Welp, we've hit an iceberg now so all aboard the feels train. Please PLEASE review this thing before I die, and Thank you so much for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

I'm still sitting in the sitting room trying to look at my book, but now I'm not tired for entirely different reasons. The clattering crystals of the chandelier are troubling me and making me feel anxious. Was it a ghost? I silently wait a few minutes for something more to happen, but nothing does. I guess it really was nothing to worry about, but I still can't help but feel uneasy.

I begin looking at the pictures in my book again. Suddenly there's a knock at the door, "Mr. Andrews!" a voice calls behind the door. My father stands and opens the door to find an officer standing there, "The captain requests you report to the bridge immediately," he tells him. Daddy nods and the officer disappears from the doorway.

He closes the door and looks at me with a strange look on his face, "Alice, I know you're tired, but do your daddy a favor and stay awake for now all right? Just until we find out what's going on." Now he looks worried, and I wonder if I should tell him what I'd seen just a few moment before.

Mr. Andrews walks over to his desk, rolling up his blueprints. "Daddy?" I ask him, leaving the couch and approaching him, where's he going? Maybe I should come too and help him!

He looks up at me once he has all the blueprints under his arm, "Just stay here darling, I'll be right back," he says, and then he's gone.

Stay here? Something is definitely not right! I'm not going to just stay here! I'm scared! What happened to this ship? I step out into the hallway and look both ways, many of the passengers are out in the hallway like I am, asking questions. Daddy is absolutely nowhere in sight, which will make it easier for me to find out what's going on for myself! Wandering out and down the hallway, I turn around a corner and nearly smack right into Madeleine Astor. "Alice!" she says, sounding happy to see me, "Do you have any idea what has happened?" she asks.

I shake my head, "My father just went up to the bridge," I tell her.

Mr. Astor comes up behind her, "The engines have stopped, but I don't think it's anything serious. I'm sure we'll be on our way again soon."

Just then someone comes down the hallway, yelling, "Put your lifebelts on! Get up to the deck! Put your lifebelts on!"

I look up at Astor and he shrugs, "Well, best do as we're told."

He disappears into his stateroom for a moment before returning with two lifebelts, one for him and one for his wife. Madeleine looks at me as her husband puts it on her, "Alice, you should go get a lifebelt too!" she tells me.

I want to, because suddenly I feel incredibly unsafe, however with all the people in the hallway I'm not sure I want to lose the Astors trying to get back to my room. I shrug, trying to seem nonchalant, "I'll get one later, when my father returns," I reply. That seems logical enough, I'm not going to do anything until he returns and tells me so himself.

Mr. Astor takes Madeleine on one arm and offers his other hand to me, "Well, how about you come with us Miss Andrews, for the meantime?" I take his hand and we begin walking down the hallway. Oh my goodness! If only mummy could see me right now! I'm on the arm of the richest man on the ship! I only wish the circumstances were better.

When we get to the deck they are readying the lifeboats. That's a bit odd, is this some kind of drill? At nearly midnight? And my goodness it's freezing out here! Even colder than it was a few hours ago when daddy and I were looking at the stars. "Come on, we'll wait inside," Mr. Astor tells us. All right, sounds fair enough. Though as I glance back at the officers preparing the lifeboats, I feel a growing sense of dread and fear welling up inside my chest.

He takes us into the gym, where many other people are gathered. This is all happening so fast, at least it feels like it is. We're all standing around here dressed up in our pajamas, wondering what on earth is going on. I'd rather be going to sleep right now! Yet, I'm not sure that I could. I'm definitely not tired in the slightest right now.

"Mr. Astor, do you have the time?" I ask curiously.

He pulls out his pocket watch, it's solid gold! "Quarter past midnight Miss Andrews," he replies. Wow, time is going by really fast! It's been over half an hour already! I wonder where daddy is, I hope he's not panicking that I'm not in our room. I'm panicking a little bit, but I'm going to stay calm and brave, for Madeleine.

Suddenly Madeleine looks at her lifebelt, "John, are you sure this will float?" she asks, a little nervously. Does she think we'll end up in the water? There's nothing wrong though, it's just a drill! At least, I think it's just a drill! I want it to be a drill, so very badly. I just want it to be a precaution, nothing more than that.

He smiles reassuringly at her, "Of course! They're perfectly safe Madeleine!" he tells her.

She doesn't look convinced, "What are they made of?"

He looks around, seeing a discarded lifebelt on one of the machines, he picks it up and pulls out a small thing I can't identify. Carefully he begins cutting, Madeleine leaning over to get a good look, "Look here Madeleine, it's made of cork! It's plenty buoyant enough to hold you above the water," he shows her.

She nods slowly, "Yes, I suppose you're right," she still looks so frightened.

I take her hand, sitting next to her, "Madeleine, it's probably just a drill, nothing to worry about. Whatever happened, I'm sure my father will have it fixed and we'll be on our way in no time!"

She smiles a little at this, "Thank you Alice, I'd feel much better if you'd go find your father though. Hopefully we'll all get to go to sleep soon," she tells me.

I laugh softly, "I hope so too. Will I see you tomorrow at breakfast then?" I ask.

She nods, "Yes, that sound lovely! Hopefully I won't be too tired from all this."

I stand up, "Well, goodbye Madeleine, goodbye Mr. Astor!" I say.

They both nod to me, "Goodbye Miss Andrews, be careful!" Mr. Astor calls as I turn and push my way out of the gym. On my own, I feel quite terrified, but I shove my fear deep down. It's just a drill! I'm safe, we're all safe.

I'm all right, I just have to find Mr. Andrews. I begin walking and end up at the grand staircase, where Maggie Brown is asking one of the stewards why we're all standing around. I'd like to know the same thing, but I don't think the answer is going to come from some random steward!

Suddenly I see him! Walking up the staircase! I don't think he noticed me, so I run up behind him and practically tackle him, "Daddy! What's going on?" I ask. I instantly feel better with him, though it's short-lived.

He spins around, immediately I can tell something is horribly wrong, I see it in his eyes. I swallow, "Is it, bad?" I ask timidly. Maybe he's just upset over something small, like me not being in our room like he told me to. He takes my hand and begins pulling me after him, not saying a word. Am I in trouble? I know I shouldn't have left the room but I didn't think anything was seriously wrong. Nothing is seriously wrong, is it?

Finally we reach our stateroom and he closes the door behind us, looking at me, "Alice," he finally manages to say, rather breathlessly, "We're sinking!"

Sinking? Is this a cruel joke? The look on his face though, oh, I think we, but this ship isn't supposed to sink! My father's words from earlier play in my mind, about the press calling the ships unsinkable, but it wasn't true. It's not true. I look him in the eye, "S... sinking?" I finally manage to ask.

He nods, "Yes, in an hour or so, all this will be underwater. Alice listen to me," he approaches me quickly, kneeling in front of me and placing his hands on my arms, "You have to get in a lifeboat, don't wait for me! You know there, there aren't enough for everyone. You need to get to one," he pauses, taking a deep breath to steady himself, "Before they're gone."

I nod, "I'll get in a boat Daddy. I'll get in one with you, because you're coming with me. Right?" He's coming to New York with me, he promised to take me to see the horse races! He promised! Is he about to cry?

I've never seen him look like this before, he's scaring me even more. What's going on? "Alice, go get your warmest coat, it's cold outside," he tells me. He's avoiding the question!

I shake my head, "You have to come with me!" I tell him.

He walks into my bedroom, and I hear him shuffle through the closet before coming out with one of my wool coats, a plum colored one with black fur, and my dolly. Before he gives it to me though, he goes to the closet, pulling out a lifebelt and putting it on me. Once it's on, he puts my coat on over it, "You be a good girl for me and get in a boat, all right?" he asks.

There's nothing more for me to do, so I nod. I feel a lump in my throat, he isn't staying on the ship while it sinks, is he? He can't be! Before I can say anything though he has left the room, and I hear him going along the hallway telling people to put their lifebelts on. The ship is really sinking, isn't it? I can feel the floor beneath my feet beginning to tilt slightly, yet I still can't believe it.

Before I leave the room, I notice the horse book sitting on the couch where I'd left it. Without thinking I pick it up, flipping through the pages until I find the thoroughbred page. Grabbing the page, I rip it out in a quick movement, stuffing it into my coat pocket. I want to show my mummy something good out of this ship! And I don't think anyone will care about this book missing a page when it's at the bottom of the ocean. I tuck my dolly under my arm and head into my room to grab teddy. I'm leaving no man behind!

I stop though, seeing Fluffy standing next to my bed. His bright eyes watching me, as though waiting for me to grab him too. Oh how I would love to, but he's too big for me to carry like my dolly, and I can't just roll him down the hall. I'm sure the officers would never let me bring him with me when the space is so limited. I feel tears prick my eyes and I wipe them away hastily, picking Fluffy up and hugging him tightly to my chest. Oh if only there were some way to bring him with me! But there isn't. All I can do is make him comfortable, so I tuck him into my bed as carefully as I can and kiss his woolly face. My poor sheep! I make to pick up Teddy, but, oh Fluffy can't just stay here alone! I hug Teddy tightly, kissing him all over and telling him to be brave and keep Fluffy company before tucking him beside the sheep. I tell them both goodnight and that I love them before leaving the room and shutting the door behind me.

Leaving the stateroom, I begin heading towards the boat deck. I have to be a good girl, and do what my daddy told me to. I have to get to a lifeboat. As I walk suddenly I stop in my tracks, what about Joey? And the third class? Are they underwater? I have to go make sure they get on a lifeboat too! I break into a run, trying to retrace my steps from the day I ran to the back of the ship. When I get outside I am met by a burst of cold air, and crowds of people! They're starting to lower the lifeboats already? I have to hurry!

Running as fast as I can, pushing and ducking and shoving past people, I manage to get to the very back of the boat, but where to go from here? Can I remember the steps down to third class? There were a lot of stairs! I remember that much! There's the door I went through to get down there! Opening the door, I can already hear people yelling down below. Why aren't they just coming up here? I run down the stairs, and down some more stairs, wow I'm really glad I'm not wearing a corset right now! HEY! My stupid corsets are going to be at the bottom of the ocean! Maybe I won't have to wear one ever again after this!

Finally I make it to a hallway, but it's closed off by a gate. I don't have a key for this gate though! I'm going to have to find another way, turning I run down the hallway and turn down some other stairs. When I reach this hallway, I have to step in ankle deep water. My golly we're really sinking! There should NOT be water down here! It's frigid as well, and after only being in it for a minute my feet are numb. "Joey?" I call, he has to be around here somewhere! These third class hallways are even more confusing than the first class! Where do I go? Don't panic, I can't panic! Oh but I'm so terribly frightened, I want my daddy!

There are people all over the place, wondering how to get to the deck. I point them all to the way I came, if I was able to come down that way, they should be able to go up that way. Still no sign of Joey, and the further down this hallway I go, the deeper the water gets. I cannot get over how cold it is! Madeleine's problems with being able to float aren't even going to matter, with water this cold she doesn't stand a chance! I hope she made it into a boat. When the water is about to my knees, I suddenly remember something very important. I don't know how to swim!

I wouldn't want to swim in this water anyway! Just running in the water is difficult enough! In my urgency find Joey and get out of here, I am not careful enough. I'm charging down the hallway when suddenly I step on the front of my sodden nightgown and crash face first in the water. I try not to cry or scream, but I'm soaked and the water is freezing and I can't help it! I barely kept my head and arm above the water when I fell. At least I managed to keep dolly held above it, I would hate for her to get wet. It would ruin her hair and her dress and everything! Tearfully pushing myself to my feet, I pick up the front of my nightgown and continue splashing down the hallway as quickly as I can, but I'm feeling rather lost and quite terrified. With my coat now soaked through, it's beginning to weigh me down.

Oh golly now the water's up to my waist! But I hear voices up ahead! I dash forward and look up to see a stairwell, with crowds and crowds of people. They're being blocked off by a gate! Hey! It's Joey! I see him! "Joey!" I scream.

He turns, "Alice! What the hell are ya doin down here?" he asks, alarmed.

I run up to him, "I came to make sure you were all right! Since you helped me the other night."

He smiles for a second then looks up, "Well it was my pleasure to help the lovely little lady, but we're trapped down here like animals!" he tells me. I push my way to the front of the group, where someone is yelling for them to go back to the main stairwell. Are you kidding me? The water is coming up the stairs now! How are they supposed to go that way?

Wait a minute, I recognize this worker! He was one of the guys who gave me caviar on my first night! "Hey! You!" What was his name, what was his name? He even spoke with Daddy at one point during his training, before the voyage began. Oh yeah! "Walter!"

He looks at me wide-eyed, "How do you know that?" he asks me, shocked.

There isn't time for this! "Because you served me dinner! Don't you remember me? From first class? I'm Mr. Andrews' daughter! I met you in Southampton before the voyage even started," I tell him. He studies me for a minute, is he really having that much trouble. Is it because my hair isn't pinned up with a bow? Is it because I'm standing here in my pajamas? Is it because I'm soaked to the skin crying my eyes out in terror?

Finally, when the water begins creeping up and the people at the back of the group scream from the icy waters touching them, he seems to recognize me, "Oh yes! Miss Alice Andrews!" he says.

I bang on the gate, "Open this gate! Please there are women and children down here! I'M down here!" I tell him. I'm becoming slightly hysterical, I'm absolutely scared to death. I shouldn't have come down here at all, now I'm lost and frightened and who knows where Mr. Andrews is?

Walter shakes his head, "I'm not supposed to open the gate! You have to go back to the main stairwell!" he replies.

I turn and point to the water, "We would if we could! If you don't hurry we're all going to die! Please!" I beg, oh please sir have mercy. Please let me out!

He seems to realize there's no way for us to go back and he pulls out his keys, "You won't tell will you?" he asks, as he unlocks the gates.

When they're open I smile brightly at him, shaking his hand, "No! Not at all! You just saved a lot of lives! Thank you!" I tell him. The people behind me flood the hallway, all heading up towards the deck. They should have a clear way there from here.

Joey takes my hand and begins pulling me along, "Come on, we have to get in a boat!"

I shake my head, "No, I have to find my father first. You save yourself Joey!"

Joey doesn't look like he wants to leave me, but I smile reassuringly at him, "We'll meet up in New York all right?" I ask him.

He nods, "Yeah! And I'll take you out somewhere for a good time!"

I smile through my tears, "Good luck Joey," I tell him.

He squeezes my hand, "You too Lass," he replies before running down the hallway after the others. I turn and head the opposite direction, if I were my father where would I go? Not on the deck, at least I don't think so! But maybe he would! He'd be wanting to help load the lifeboats, but which side would he go to? Would he go to the wheelhouse? Would he be with the Captain? There are so many places he could be I have no idea where to start!

I have to find him! I'm not getting on any lifeboat without him! He told me this was our ship, if he plans to go down with it, then I'm going to go down with it too! How could this happen? Years to build this ship, and it'll all be for nothing in a few hours! And the man who saved me, who took me in when I had nobody and gave me everything will be gone! The man who made my wish come true and turned me into a princess. I have to save him! I'm not leaving this ship without Mr. Andrews! I can't, I won't! It's settled then, I'm not leaving without him!

**A/N: So some of the inspiration for this chapter and the next actual came from watching video taken by passengers on the Costa Concordia while it was sinking. It's like watching Titanic, but in real life, and only about 3 years ago! Kinda haunting and absolutely terrifying. The stuff with the Astors is all based on actual accounts as well, and there's a deleted scene from the Titanic movie where Mr. Astor cuts open the lifebelt in the gym to show Mrs. Astor the inside to reassure her. Next chapter will likely be posted later today, because the two sinking chapters sort of go together I think. As always, please review and thank you ever so much for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

Where could he be? After running up countless stairs and through many identical hallways, I find myself standing in the middle of the verandah cafe, still wondering where I would go if I was my father. I have no idea! But I'm not going to look all over the place on the deck, that's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and I'm sure it's even worse now than it was just a little while ago! And I'm so small, what if I got trampled or something? There are too many people all pushing and shoving and yelling! I push my way into yet another room I've never been in before, hugging my dolly close to my chest for comfort. I think this is the smoking room, and I only say that because of the ashtrays and such.

Am I crazy or is the floor beginning to tilt even more? I have to jump to the side quickly to avoid a rolling cart. I gotta hurry up and find him! I'm running out of time! Sprinting up the incline, I suddenly stop dead in my tracks, I seem to be doing that a lot tonight. But I found him! He's standing in front of the fire place, staring at a picture. He looks so, I can't even describe it. I've never seen him look like that before. "Daddy?" I ask.

He turns sharply at my voice, his eyes widening, "Alice! You're supposed to be on a boat!" he tells me, looking as close to panicked as I've ever seen him.

I drop my dolly and run into him, wrapping my arms around him. I'm never letting him go, "Not without you!" I tell him. I'm scared, why do I have to go by myself? I don't understand what's happening and I don't want to leave Mr. Andrews all alone. Not with everything that's happening!

He kneels to my level and wraps his arms around me, "Alice, I can't go with you, I have to stay here. You have your whole life to live my darling girl. You must get on a boat for the love of God, please Alice, please, you must go without me."

I feel tears well in my eyes, feeling hurt and frightened and confused. "Not without you! We have to stick together, right daddy?" I ask him. He promised me, he told me we'd stick together no matter what. This can't be his first lie to me, this can't be his first and only lie. He's never let me down before, not even about Santa! If it weren't for him, I'd still be a starving tramp. Only now that the Titanic's at sea I wouldn't even have a home, I'd have to find somewhere else! Thoughts of what my life could have been like with Mr. Andrews flash through my mind and my heart feels like it's being stomped and torn to pieces. I just can't go without daddy I can't make it!

I bury my face in his coat and begin to sob, feeling helpless and frightened for my life. I'm safe when I'm with him, I'm loved. "Alice, you're soaking wet! You must be freezing!" he says, sounding worried and nearly frantic. I shake my head, how can I be cold at a moment like this? There's no time to think about being cold!

Mr. Andrews takes his overcoat off, putting it on me over my blue coat. His voice is trembling slightly as he talks to me, and he looks just as frightened as I. I know he's trying to be brave, for me, but I can see it in his eyes. When our eyes meet I find I suddenly can't bring myself to cry, or even make a sound. It's as though time has frozen around us and it's just the two of us on this whole ship. "Alice, you've been a good girl, you're the sweetest and gentlest daughter a man could ever hope to ask for. I would never give you up for anything in the world, all I want is the very best for you! Because..." he swallows and pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me tightly, I return the gesture, hugging him so tightly my arms almost hurt, "Because I love you Alice, I love you so, so much."

"I love you too Daddy! I love you, and I don't want you to die here! Not like this!" I tell him. I can't stop the sobs that rack my body now, I can't leave him! I can't leave him now!

He hushes me, "Alice, you need to be a very brave girl now. You need to go to New York, and then you need to go back to mummy, and Elba! You need to go back, and deliver a message for me," he says softly.

I look up at him, but can hardly see his face through my tears, "What?" I choke out. What does he want me to tell them? That he died for no good reason? That everything he worked for, for the past 3 years, came crashing down in a matter of a few hours?

He smiles gently, "You tell them that I love them, and that I'll always be with them. And I'll always, always be with you," he pauses, cupping my cheek in his large hand and rubbing his thumb under my eye to wipe away my tears, "I promise." The ship creaks around us and he looks up briefly, extreme concern flashing across his face, before giving me a kiss on the forehead, and one on each cheek. "There, three kisses, one for you, and one for your mother and Elba. Can you deliver that message for me?" he asks.

I nod solemnly, "I'll tell them, I promise." I reply softly, nearly a whisper. My voice is hoarse from screaming and crying.

We merely stare into each other's faces for the longest time before he takes my hands and squeezes them tightly, "Now Alice, I want you to be brave for me, and be on your best behavior until you get home. I know you're strong enough to do it, promise me you will."

"I promise daddy."

I suppose I have to leave him now, I'm running out of time. I swallow back my tears as best I can, smiling at him and putting on my bravest face. He smiles back at me, but I can see tears in his eyes and it breaks my heart. I hug him once more, trying to savor each moment. I want to remember how he feels, how he smells, I want to remember the rhythm of his heartbeats and the security I feel when I'm with him. I hear him sniffle and hug him tighter, "I'll be good daddy! I'll even stop climbing trees!" I tell him, trying to think of anything to cheer him up even a little.

He shakes his head, I can't see his face but I know he's beginning to cry. "No Alice, you climb all the trees your heart desires." He's holding me so tightly to him I can hardly breathe, but I don't mind. How could anyone mind? "My dear, sweet child, you could win the heart of the whole world without even trying," he whispers.

"I love you Daddy," I tell him again, I don't want him to cry. He's supposed to be strong, and tough, because he's Mr. Andrews! He finally lets me go, and looks me in the eyes, "Alice," he breathes, "I'm sorry I didn't build you a stronger ship."

I shake my head, throwing my arms around his neck, "It doesn't matter anymore," I practically whisper. I can see the tears rolling down his cheeks and I wipe them away as best I can. "I had something better than a silly ship, I had the greatest daddy a girl could ever hope to ask for."

The ship creaks again, a continuing warning that I'm running out of time. I stand on my tippy toes and give him a kiss on the cheek, "Goodbye Daddy, I love you," I say, trying to be brave just like he asked. But it's very, very hard.

"Alice, one last thing" he says. I look up at him and he seems to be having as much trouble with his emotions as I am. I can see him trying very hard to be brave too. "Don't look back. Just keep going." He kisses me a final time before taking my hands and squeezing them as a final reassurance. Smiling sadly with tears shining in his eyes, he says so softly I hardly hear him, "Until we meet again, Princess Alice Andrews."

Taking a deep breath, the last breath I'll ever take with my hands in his, I turn, grab my dolly off the floor, and walk to the revolving door, pushing my way out. I want to look back, I want to see him, remember him forever. But I can't, I have to keep walking.

Once I'm clear of the smoking room, I run, run as fast as I can to the boat deck. If I walk I know I'll look back, and I can't do that. Tears blur my vision but I continue to wipe them away. I have to be brave! I have to be a brave! When I get out there, everything is in chaos. Where do I even go from here? My heart still aches, I want my daddy and I want him right now! I'm scared, and I don't know what to do or where to go! There are so many people and so much going on, somewhere on deck I hear the string quartet playing, and I can't fathom how they have the guts to stand their ground and play until the last.

As I run, lost and frightened, to a less crowded portion of the deck, I hear someone call my name. I turn to see Mr. Ismay running up to me, picking me up right off my feet and carrying me with him. I can see a lifeboat that he has been helping to load. There aren't that many people around it, I think they're all down by the other lifeboats where I just came from.

Mr. Ismay places me in the boat, and once I'm sitting I take a deep breath and pull my father's coat around me tighter. Oh no, oh no, this is all I'm going to have left of him! I begin sobbing again, I want Mr. Andrews! I don't want to leave this ship without him with me! I hear the officer beginning to order the men to prepare to lower us down. I can hardly breathe I'm crying so hard! Suddenly two more men jump into the boat, one of which sits next to me. I don't realize who it is until the order is given to lower away and he lets out a little sigh before turning to me, "Alice?"

It's my stupid grumpy uncle! What is he doing on this boat? Didn't he hear? Women and children only? Oh what am I complaining for? I'd rather have him here than nobody! I don't care anymore! I don't care how annoying he can be sometimes, he's here! With me! If I can't have my father, I suppose I can have him for now! He's the only person I really know on this ship besides my daddy. I bury my face in his shoulder and sob, "Mr. Ismay! He wouldn't come! I tried to make him but he wouldn't!"

He hushes me, "Deep breaths Alice, you're safe," he tells me, trying to be soothing. But he sounds just as frightened as I am. As we're lowered down, the boat swings dangerously above the water and I cling to his arm tightly.

A rocket is launched off the sinking ship and I look up at it as it lights the night sky. I've never seen a firework before! I never want to see any again! I hate them! We touch the water and the officers begin to row away from the ship. Even Ismay grabs an oar, keeping his back turned away from the Titanic. I believe I may be imagining things, but I think I spot Mr. Andrews on the promenade deck, throwing things in the water like a madman. I scream and nearly leap out of the boat, 'causing Mr. Ismay to stop rowing in order to restrain me.

As I'm able to see more and more of Titanic as a whole, my already shattered heart breaks even more. The bow is all the way under the water, and the stern is up in the air slightly! What must have happened to my daddy right now? Is he still on the deck? Had he fallen into the water? Was he back in the smoking room standing in front of the fireplace? Or had gravity made him fall to the end of the room? Or had he gone somewhere else entirely? Why am I thinking of this? I bury my face into Mr. Ismay's shoulder as he rows, trying not to look at the ship at all. How could this happen? Why were we even sinking in the first place? What caused such hell to break loose?

I can hear the people screaming, as the ship sinks farther and farther into the dark ocean. I glance up at Mr. Ismay to see if he might reassure me. He's trying to keep his eyes averted, but there's still a look of horror plastered on his face. I never thought I'd see him look like that. I also never thought I'd be able to see the color actually drain from a person's face, let alone Ismay's. When we're a safe distance away he stops rowing again and wraps his arms around me suddenly, as a sickening cracking sound is heard.

This all seems so impossible! Maybe it's some sort of nightmare! Yeah! That's it! A nightmare! From being sick yesterday! I'll wake up and my father will come in, and he'll comfort me and everything will be all right! Yes, it has to be a dream! When I wake up everything will be just fine, and we'll arrive in New York just as planned! Mr. Andrews and I will see the horse races, at that racetrack just like he promised! What was it called? Bel something, Belmont! Yes! Belmont! We'll go there together!

During my daydream I almost miss the ship breaking in half. I can't even comprehend what my father must be thinking right now, let alone be doing. What if he's dead right now? Already gone? But he can't be! It's all a dream! I must be absolutely hysterical right now because Mr. Ismay is petting my hair, hushing me. I think he wants me to stop watching, and I want to stop watching too! But I just can't rip my eyes from the scene in front of me! I've never seen anything like it, and I don't think I'll ever see anything like it ever again in my lifetime. And thank the Lord for that, because I never want to see this all again!

And now, it really seems to be the end! The ship appears almost straight up in the air now, and it's lowering into the darkness. Farther, and farther, the screams of people still stranded aboard are getting louder and louder the farther down it goes. There are people at the top of that ship! Some of them drop away, falling sickening heights into the water. And then, it's simply gone! As though it never was! The only thing that hints to its existence is the floating debris and the hundreds of people all screaming and yelling and splashing in the water. I let out a cry, the ship is gone forever, and therefore, so is Mr. Andrews!

What is there to do now? I look up again at Mr. Ismay to see if he might give me any comfort, any hints on what to do or how to feel. But no, his head is bowed and he refuses to make eye contact with me. He looks genuinely defeated, and that's exactly how I feel right at this moment. I suppose the best thing to do right now is try to get comfortable. I lower myself slowly, resting my head on Mr. Ismay's lap and holding my dolly close. He doesn't seem to mind, in fact, he continues petting my hair quietly. At least we can both be distressed together.

"It's grown quiet," I say softly. I've stopped crying, about an hour ago. Mr. Ismay continued stroking my hair for a while, but he stopped not long after I had calmed down. There's no reply to my comment and I glance up at my usually talkative uncle. He's staring out to sea, his expression unreadable. He looks haunted, what's running through his head right now, I can hardly imagine.

After a long moment I shift my position slightly and he looks down at me. I've seen that look in a person's eyes before, I saw it in Mr. Andrews' eyes when he was saying he was sorry for not building me a stronger ship. That look of extreme guilt, guilt over the deaths of hundreds of people. It wasn't his fault though, it wasn't anybody's fault. It couldn't have been, it was an accident! An accident is all!

I close my eyes and try to imagine I'm back on the Titanic, not when it was sinking of course, but back to before. Launching day! Yes! Daddy was so happy on that day, everyone was! The sun was shining, people were cheering us on as we pulled away from the dock! Everything was perfect right at that moment, how could it all have gone so wrong just a few days later? Not even a week!

Somehow, I manage to fall asleep for a little while at some point. Sleep actually feels really good, but it's far too short lived! I feel someone shaking me, quite frantically. "Alice! Wake up! Please!" Is that Mr. Ismay? I hardly recognize his voice if it is! I crack open an eye and look up at him. He sighs heavily in relief, "Thank god! Oh thank god!" His voice is trembling terribly.

What's the matter with him? I was just sleeping! I sit up slowly and look at him, "What's the matter?" I ask him drowsily, rubbing my eyes.

He still seems a little anxious, "I, I thought you'd, you'd died! Oh Alice don't do that again," he tells me. Died? Me? Mr. Ismay must see the confused look on my face because he takes a deep breath and whispers, "People have been dying from the cold, in the night! I thought you'd gone too! You wouldn't answer me and..."

I cut him off before he can continue, "I'm sorry I scared you." He eases slightly, but he's still tense and nervous and I lean against his shoulder, shivering slightly from the cold. "I won't fall asleep again," I tell him gently. He merely nods, before noticing my trembling. Wordlessly, he picks me up and places me on his lap, wrapping his arms around me. As awkward and unsure as I am, he is indeed warm and I lay my head against his shoulder comfortably. Together we begin gazing out at sea again.

It's as if we're the only two people in this lifeboat as he begins talking to me, "All those people," he whispers, "There weren't enough lifeboats. And, and I was the one who made it so."

I listen to him quietly as he tries to control himself, I don't think he wants to cry, men aren't supposed to cry. His words are causing tears to brim in my own eyes though, I remember my father wanting more lifeboats! We could have saved him if only, I let out a quiet sob, if only there were more boats!

The morning light is beginning to come across the sky and Mr. Ismay hushes me, "Don't cry anymore Alice, please," he pauses for a long time, "Your father wouldn't like it." This ceases my cries immediately, I'd promised my father no more tears a few nights ago hadn't I? I broke that promise a long time ago of course, but maybe I can make it up by not crying for the rest of the time. If I'm brave, just like he's asked me to be, maybe he'll be proud of me! Yeah! He'll look down on me and be so proud! He promised me he would always be with me, and I've never doubted him. I'm not going to now.

Feeling a new sense of courage, I look around the boat. There are mostly third class women and children in here, many of them foreign looking. There's another first class gentleman besides Mr. Ismay though, and I almost don't believe my eyes at the sight of him. It's Mr. Carter! Lucile and Billy's father! Oh I wonder if they made it off the ship as well. They must have, and now their father will join them. In many ways I envy them, but mostly I am happy that their family will get out of all this intact.

Some younger children near me are crying, their mothers try to soothe them but they're cold, tired, and frightened. I know how they feel, so I turn to them and try to cheer them up myself. "Would you like to hear a song?" I ask a couple of them. They sniffle and look up at me with big eyes, seeming frightened, but an encouraging nudge from their mother causes them to nod hesitantly.

I smile at them, pushing down all the sadness and heartbreak and trying to be as brave as possible. The song is the one Mr. Andrews taught me what seems like a lifetime ago, and it does makes me really sad. However, it also helps me remember all the happy times I spent with him too, and that helps me keep my brave face on.

"Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's green," I sing softly, "When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen. Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so. Call up your men, dilly dilly, set them to work. Some to the plough, dilly dilly, some to the fork. Some to make hay, dilly dilly, some to cut corn. While you and I, dilly dilly, keep ourselves warm."

The adult passengers seem to be paying attention to my song as well, and the children stop their crying to watch me with wide watery eyes. "Lavender's green, dilly dilly, lavender's blue. If you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you. Let the birds sing, dilly dilly, and the lambs play. We shall be safe, dilly dilly, out of harms ways. I love to dance, dilly dilly, I love to sing. When I am queen, dilly dilly, you shall be king. Who told me so, dilly dilly, who told me so? I told myself, dilly dilly, I told me so."

When my song finishes, the slightly calmler children open up a little more. They ask me to teach them the song, and some of the foreign mothers even try to follow along as I teach them verse by verse. I even hear Mr. Ismay humming the tune beside me, and I shouldn't be surprised he knows it since he's English, but I am.

As it grows lighter and lighter, I can make out other lifeboats floating around near us. All of the people in those boats look to be in as bad an emotional state as we are. I wonder what mummy will say, when Mr. Andrews and I don't return home as planned. Where am I even supposed to go when we make it to America? The original plan was to stay a few days and then return home on the Titanic! But that certainly isn't going to happen. Should I stay with Mr. Ismay? Does he want me to stay with him? I would feel horrible to simply leave him, after all he is like my uncle, whether he approves of it or not. But after everything, I don't think he'll mind.

I see the shape of a ship in the distance. Is that the ship that's supposed to rescue us? Where were they before? You know what? I don't even care anymore, I don't have it in me to care anymore! I'm so tired, and my heart is aching painfully. All those people, I'll never see most of them again. I can only wonder what became of them, Mr. Astor, Mr. Guggenheim, Mr. Straus! All of them first class men, did any of them make it? Or did they follow my father to the bottom of the ocean? Did Madeleine end up in the water like she feared? I can only sit and wonder.

Some of the surrounding lifeboats begin rowing towards the rescue ship, ours beginning to follow them. I look up at Mr. Ismay, I want to ask him what's going to happen once we board that ship. But the look on his face tells me he's not going to be able to give me an answer. Therefore, I'm not going to burden him with the question, I'm just going to wait and see what happens.


	14. Chapter 14

We have to wait our turn before we can board the ship that has come to rescue us. I'm a little scared, because the closer and closer the ship gets, the more wound up Mr. Ismay seems to be getting. I'm still leaning on his shoulder, and I can feel him trembling. Is he afraid? Is he upset? Anxious? What am I supposed to do about it? He's mumbling about something, I can't really understand him, but I think I heard him say something about food. Is he really thinking about food at a time like this?

Finally it's our turn to get on the ship. Oddly enough, I'm feeling a bit stronger now. I could conquer the world right now, well, maybe. I need to conquer the world, I need to be strong for my father's sake, and it appears I need to be strong for Mr. Ismay's sake too. The children and I have to go up first, but instead of risking us climbing the ladder, they lower a mail sack down and pull us up one by one. I'm the last one, and Mr. Ismay and Mr. Carter help me climb in and make sure I'm secure.

As I'm pulled up, I can't help but feel this is incredibly unsafe. I'm swinging wildly what seems like hundreds of feet above the ocean. People are calling orders above me, an officer's yelling for the people pulling me up to be careful. I just cling to my dolly as tightly as I can and hope that I reach the deck in one piece. Finally I'm heaved over the side, and I crawl out of the bag and scamper a few feet away, standing with a rather large group of people who must all be waiting for their loved ones. I'm just waiting for grumpy Mr. Ismay.

The minute he's on the deck, before I can even say anything or ask him any questions, he's bolting away, shoving past people and demanding food. I just stand there for a moment, watching him go. Well thanks a lot dear uncle! Glad you care about me so much!

It's clear he isn't going to turn around, so I sigh and lower my eyes to the deck, trudging along to find a place to sit and think by myself. Many people are standing around, sobbing as hard as I was not too long ago. I pull daddy's coat around me tighter, I don't have to stand around here with all the sobbing people, I only had one real family member on that ship, and I know for a fact that he will not be coming onto this boat, ever.

Now what? What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? Sighing, wow, is that the only thing I can do today? It seems like the only thing I can do is sigh, but I suppose that's a lot better than crying isn't it? I continue scanning the deck for an empty space, once I see one, I walk over to it and plop down. Honestly, after sitting all those hours in the lifeboat, I'm a little antsy, but I think I need to just sit and figure things out before I go walking about trying to get my jitters out.

Hey, wait a minute! When I sat down, I heard something hit the deck, something hard. I reach my hand into one of my daddy's pockets, there's something in here! I wrap my fingers around it and pull it up, in front of my eyes. It's his pocket watch! Oh golly, his pocket watch! I flip it open and it shows me the time, the exact time! It's still ticking too, all this time it's been simply ticking away! There's not even a scratch on it, it's as though nothing ever happened to it. It looks just like it always does when daddy pulls it out to check the time. He did that a lot, checking the time. I suppose time was important to him, I also suppose it doesn't matter much to him anymore. I carefully place the watch back in his pocket and check the other pocket. There's something in here too! Wow, my father's coat has a lot of stuff in it, you'd think he'd be weighed down by all this stuff! Ok maybe only two things but this other thing is kinda big! I can't even grab it like the pocket watch, it's too big to fit in my hand!

Pulling it out, my heart nearly stops beating for a moment. It's a book, but not just any old book, I'd recognize the leather cover of this anywhere, it's daddy's journal! The one he was always writing in, the one I asked about and he told me he was just writing things about Titanic in it! Now I can find out what it really says. I open it up to the first page, where I'm met by Mr. Andrews' perfect scroll. I wish I could write like this, my writing skills are about the same as my reading skills, lousy.

There's only one problem with finding out what this journal really says, I can't read any of this! It's not that it's hard to read, I can make out each perfect individual letter, it's just that, my reading skills really haven't improved since the last time I read a few days ago. Hey! That page in the book! Is it alright? I put the journal back in my daddy's coat pocket before going digging in my own coat. I quickly locate the paper and pull it out of my pocket, unwrapping the crumpled mess. It's a little damp, and some of the letters smudged. But I can still read it, the grey horse is still just as picture perfect as it was on the Titanic.

My attention is taken away by a steward prodding me, "Miss?" he asks. I look up at him, he looks tired and we've all only just gotten here, poor fellow. He holds out a cup of steaming liquid for me. Well, I suppose I could drink this, I'm not really cold but alright. I take the cup and thank him, staring at the dark liquid, I'm pretty sure it's tea. There's only one way to find out for sure! I have to taste it! What if it's not tea though? What if it's something really gross, like caviar?

Why am I even putting so much thought into this? Is it because I'm not really thirsty? I smile slightly at my own thoughts, they're sorta like my usual thoughts. All right, I'm just going to taste this now and whatever it is, I'm gonna like it! Maybe! Bringing the cup up to my lips, I take a small sip. Well, it's not tea, it's actually something way better! It's hot chocolate! You know, maybe being on this ship isn't so bad! Hot chocolate is a special treat for me, the only one who ever gave me any was, Mr. Andrews. My eyes begin to brim with tears at the thought, are you kidding me? I was doing so well too! No! No! I'm not going to cry again! I promised to stay strong and I'm going to!

But I can only remember the first time Mr. Andrews gave me hot chocolate. After that it was always our special winter treat, something just the two of us shared together. Now here I am, drinking hot chocolate all by myself on a strange ship, surrounded by people I don't even know, at some early hour in the morning! I wish daddy was here, even if it was just for a moment! Hot chocolate, even though it's my favorite drink, just isn't quite the same without him. Looking around the deck, it looks like a lot of people are beginning to disappear, or at least people off the Titanic. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn, looking up expecting it to be some steward or something, but no! It's a maid, but I've seen her before! This is Madeleine Astor's maid!

"Are you Miss Alice Andrews?" she asks me, her timidness reminds me slightly of Angelica, I wonder if she made it off the ship, I hope so.

I finally nod, "That's me," I reply.

The maid looks relieved, like she's been looking for me for a while. She kneels down next to me, lowering her voice, "Madeleine has been asking about you, can you come with me please?" she asks. Can I go? Golly! Nothing's going to stop me from going to Madeleine! She's asking for me, I'll be there!

Standing, the maid turns and begins leading me inside the ship. I don't really take the time to look at the hallways or anything, I know they won't compare to the Titanic, not one little bit. Finally we make it to a room and the maid turns to me, "Madame is beside herself, hopefully you'll be able to calm her down," she tells me. With that, she pushes the door open and ushers me in.

Madeleine is sitting on a bed in the room, which is probably only half the size of her stateroom back on the Titanic. She has a blanket over her small frame, which is trembling as she sobs heavily into her hands. I approach slowly, "Madeleine" I call softly, reaching out touching her arm.

She lowers her hands and peaks up at me with tearful eyes, her expression turns to one of great relief, "Oh Alice, you're alive!" she says, her voice quivering.

I nod, taking her hands and sitting on the bed next to her, "That's right, I'm alive. I told you I'd be all right, remember?" I ask.

Her lip trembles as she nods, "I was so scared, John had to help me into a lifeboat off the promenade deck, through a window! I was so frightened that he'd drop me but he didn't!" She lets out a sob, "He wanted to come with me, but they wouldn't let him!"

She hugs me with surprising strength for a woman so heavily pregnant and almost makes tears come to my own eyes. I can't cry, I have to stay strong! I just have to, no matter what! She sobs for a few moments before calming down enough to continue her story, "He, he asked the officer what boat number it was, so he could find me again, and they told him. And he told me, he said 'The sea is calm. You'll be all right, I'll meet you in the morning'. Then he gave me his gloves and I asked him about Kitty! He told me he was going to go find Kitty! I, I haven't seen him since! And I'm no fool, I know he died last night. I don't know how, but he isn't here!"

It's at this point she completely breaks down and continues sobbing into me, and I just sit quietly, wrapping my arms around her and taking it quietly, I'm still too busy trying not to cry myself! Oh poor Mr. Astor!

As she spoke, I was also trying to think of the best course of action to take. What will get her mind off Mr. Astor? Didn't she just say something about a kitty? "Who's Kitty?" I prod gently.

She sniffles "Our darling little dog. John and I were so very fond of her. We almost lost her on our honeymoon in Egypt!" She lets out a weak little laugh, "We weren't very good at naming things," she says.

Yes! A laugh, maybe a weak one, but it was there! I offer her a gentle smile, the same one my daddy always gave to me, "You know, you agreed to have breakfast with me this morning. Are you hungry?"

She shakes her head, "No, well, perhaps just a little bit."

I laugh softly, "It's ok to be hungry, I'm hungry too. And I know, that if my daddy were here he'd want me to eat." Well, part of that is the truth, and part of that is a lie. I'm not really that hungry either, but I'm sure Mr. Andrews would make me eat if he were here.

Her eyes widen in shock at hearing Mr. Andrews didn't make it either, "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry!"

I blink back some tears, "Thank you Madeleine," I reply politely, not really sure what else to say. I can't really tell her that it's ok, because in reality it's not. It's not ok in the slightest. None of this should have happened, I don't understand why it had to happen.

The maid brings us some food not long after that. It isn't much, a few rolls with jam and some tea. But it will definitely do! Madeleine and I eat, and throughout the entire course I try to think of the funniest stories I know. One of them in particular makes her laugh so hard she almost chokes on her bread! I don't even care about being proper, I just tell her whatever comes to mind, the silliest most childish things. I tell her about strange people I encountered on my journey through Ireland, and funny things I'd heard. I tell her everything.

All I can think is at least Madeleine is feeling a little better now, for the time being. After cheering her up at breakfast, I decide I should go out onto the deck again. I'm sure all the boats have been unloaded by now, and I'd like to see if maybe some other people I know are on them. Of course daddy won't be, but people like Joey and Maggie Brown! Bidding Madeleine goodbye, I begin my trek up to the deck. Luckily for me, these halls are not quite as complicated as Titanic's maze of completely identical hallways, and I manage to get to the deck in a few minutes.

According to my father's pocket watch, it's a little bit past noon. That means that everybody has been here at least a couple of hours, and yet, everyone is still in tears! Well, I take that back, everyone who is still awake is in tears! A lot of people seem to have either gone off into rooms like Madeleine has, or they're sprawled out on the deck sound asleep. There's no class distinction either, although I'd say more than half of the people I see on deck right now are third class.

Joey, I saved him from the lower decks, surely he's around here somewhere! I know he's a man, but I've seen a couple of fellows around, Mr. Ismay made it didn't he? So I'm sure that Joey could be around here somewhere, I just have to look! I begin walking around the deck, finally I get a chance to stretch my legs and walk! Maybe I'll just stroll around the deck for a little while instead of looking for anybody! You know what! Yea! That's what I'll do! If anyone wants to find me, they can come get me! I'm walking!

Ok, after about an hour of walking, I'm bored of walking. This ship is so small compared to Titanic, there's nothing to see! I can walk from one end of this ship to the other in only a few minutes, it didn't even seem possible on Titanic! I only stopped my walk once, to say hello to Lucile. She was standing on deck for a moment with her family.

Her father smiled sadly when he saw me, "Miss Andrews, are you holding up quite all right?"

"I'm ok right now. I had breakfast and I'm just getting a little fresh air at the moment," I'd replied.

Lucile noticed I was holding my dolly, and she sniffled and wiped her nose on her nightgown sleeve, "You got to keep your dolly? Lucky, I lost mine," she replied.

Billy crossed his arms tearfully, "You're worried about a doll? What about our doggy?" he snapped, burying his face in his mother's side and beginning to cry. She led him away inside, leaving me standing with Mr. Carter and Lucile.

"Are you alone Alice?" Lucile had suddenly asked, looking around, "Where's Mr. Andrews?"

I merely bowed my head, unable to meet her gaze, "He, didn't make it," I replied.

She'd gasped and then enveloped me in a very large hug, I'd hugged her back, "Oh Alice! I'm so sorry!" she'd cried.

"It's ok Lucile," was all I'd managed to reply. Once she'd let me go she'd held my hands and begged me to come with her, however I shook my head. "No thanks Lucile, I'd just like to walk for a little while."

Mr. Carter offered me any assistance, all I had to do was ask. I'd thanked him before continuing on my way. And after that, no one stopped me, I just walked and walked and walked until my legs began to grow tired. Now I'm unsure what to do.

You know what, I'm just going to lean on the railing like I did on the Titanic and look out to sea. Open water, nothing as far as the eye can see! Well, at least something is a little familiar!

"I hope you're not plannin' to jump or something, would be pretty silly to have made it this far only to jump!" someone says behind me, before turning around I know exactly who it is.

I spin around "Joey!" I can't believe it's him! See? I knew I was right! I knew he'd be here!

We hug and he laughs "Well now that I've found ya you better be holdin up to your word!" he tells me.

I smile and laugh, "What word?" I ask him, what is he even talking about?

He point out across the water, "Ya promised we'd meet up in New York! And I told ya we'd go have ourselves some fun! I have a little cousin just yer age who'd just love ta meet ya! You haven't had a change of plans since then have ya?" he asks.

That's right! I did say that, to get him to leave me behind! I laugh "Well, I don't really have any plans, no. I suppose one night out won't change my life!" I say. It's the truth, I haven't got any plans once we reach New York. Of course, I still need to find Mr. Ismay and see what he has to say. I'm pretty sure he designated himself as my guardian on the lifeboat, but then again, he did completely ditch me for the sake of his stomach. Maybe I'm better off with Joey! For all I know Mr. Ismay has completely forgotten about me!

Joey nudges me, "Hey, I know you're probably a wee bit upset over last night. But how bout we go sit down right there," he gestures to a bench, "And I'll tell ya about the horse I'm gonna be ridin' in the Derby!"

Sounds good enough to me! We both go over to the bench and sit, and he quickly launches off into telling me all about his 'not so world class' racehorse. He says he has a better chance winning the Kentucky Derby on a donkey than on this horse! When he's done telling me about his horse, I tell him about mine, well, Mr. Andrews' dream horse. I even show him the crumpled page in the book, he gasps "You ripped that outta a book that didn't even belong to you? That's the best thing I've seen all day!"

After we laugh about that he leans back on the bench, lookin up at the sky, "Ya know, there's these things called claimin' races. Basically, the horse runs the race and then you can buy it for whatever price is set. Lot cheaper than gettin em at the market I'll tell ya! And they already be trained for ridin! Bet you can find a horse like the one you're looking for in one of those. All you need is a little bit of money!" he tells me. I don't have any money, any money we had, went down with the ship last night! But I do know someone who does have money, probably lots of it! Mr. Ismay! I think it's time I go find him, I've given him all day!

I stand, "Joey, I have to go find my grumpy Uncle, will I see you again?" I ask.

He stands, taking my hand and kissing it like a gentleman before giving me a goofy smile, "Well, considering the circumstances, I don't think I'm goin anywhere. So sure, I'll see ya tomorrow!" he tells me. I laugh and give him a final hug goodbye before going back into the ship in search of Mr. Ismay. I wonder what I'll find, I haven't seen him all day! Something in the pit of my stomach warns me though, that what I'm about to see is going to change my life, maybe even for the worst.

**A/N: Hello lovely readers! So a lot of this chapter and the next two chapters are going to be pretty close to the original source material, which was Rags to Riches. There will be small changes and corrections, but overall they won't be drastically different or anything. Trivia for this chapter, the children were really pulled onto the rescue ship in a mail sack, and many of them testified to how absolutely terrifying it was. **

**I'd also like to take this opportunity to respond to a review by Sam Fraser. I point you to the line, "I believe I may be imagining things, but I think I spot Mr. Andrews on the promenade deck, throwing things in the water like a madman." I'm sorry if Alice's narrative isn't super clear about that, but I did pull him out of the smoking room for his final moments. She doesn't know for sure because she's only 12, at that moment the only thing she's certain of is that the ship is sinking. There's just a lot going on, it would be hard for anyone to be absolutely sure if they thought they spotted someone on deck, especially from the distance she would have been. I also kept her and the readers a bit in the dark on his final whereabouts because I feel it would have taken away from her final moment with him in the smoking room if she saw him again after that. I do know the Andrews' final moments debate, I've done more than my fair share of research on these Titanic stories. Thank you for your thoughtful review anyhow though. **

**On the subject of reviews, I also wanna make another shout-out to aloha4life. You are seriously amazing! I cannot thank you enough for reviewing every single chapter! Once this story is done, I will begin working on your request, I promise! **

**Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming pretty please! And thank you a million times for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

I heard we'll be arriving in New York in a day or so, I don't exactly know how I should feel about it. How can I remain excited about it when Mr. Andrews isn't here? Actually, feeling anything, even grief and sadness, is a little difficult. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep since arriving on this ship! I'm afraid to sleep, I'm afraid of what waits for me in my dreams. Sleep used to be so comforting, one of my favorite things, and yet now when I try to close my eyes for a moment, all I can see is Titanic disappearing into the dark depths of the ocean, all I can hear are the screams of people begging for their lives to be spared. Besides, I have to stay awake and look after Mr. Ismay, he needs me.

Finding him was no easy challenge, and even when I did find him, I didn't really find him. All I found was a shell of the man that once used to be Mr. Ismay. He was absolutely beside himself with guilt, and when he saw me he let out the most pitiful sob I ever heard, clinging to me as though his life depended on me! I tried to console him as best I could, like he had for me in the lifeboat. But I just couldn't do enough for him, and eventually one of the ship's doctors came and actually drugged him!

Since then, Mr. Ismay hasn't really been doing much. His behavior is actually so drastically different from what I've always known that it frightens me terribly. He doesn't eat, he rarely sleeps, and he hasn't spoken a word in days. He just stares off, trembling like a leaf. I've never seen a man as completely and utterly lost as him. Various people have come in here and tried to console him, none of them have succeeded. Jack Thayer visited just yesterday, and after trying and failing to draw Mr. Ismay into a conversation, he sat and drank tea with me instead, asking how I was coping. I told him honestly that I missed my daddy, and that I was frightened and worried about what would happen when we reached New York. He assured me as best he could that things would be all right, though he words only comforted me for a very short while.

Others have visited for me too. The ladies on the ship apparently have banded together and begun making new clothes for the children, since we're all still in pajamas. The first dress they made was for me, since my coat and nightgown are sticky and disgusting from my tumble into the water and I needed to change most urgently. Wearing fresh clothes feels so good, even though they aren't particularly fashionable. My new dress is just a simple white shirt and a green jumper on the top, nothing fancy at all. I'm not sure how children like Lucile will react, but I don't mind in the slightest. I had a bath as well, and washing off that disgusting ocean water was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Anyway, overall Mr. Ismay has been doing a lot of nothing. Which, is exactly what I've been doing too, a whole lot of nothing! I haven't even gotten to go out and see Joey again, like I said I would. I feel incredibly guilty to have ditched him, but Mr. Ismay simply needs me here. He needs someone to watch him and keep him company. Even though he doesn't appear to be aware of the world, I still feel as though he would know if I left. He seems so terribly distraught, I don't think it would be the right thing to do, leaving him alone. I know he's a grown-up and can take care of himself, but everything seems to be backwards. Titanic is on the bottom of the ocean, and the world may not have ended because of it but it's changed completely! I have to be a grown-up now.

Well, I think I've memorized the interior of this cabin by now, because all I seem to do is stare at the walls, or the floor, or sometimes I'll even lie on my back on the floor and stare at the ceiling! When I'm not staring at the room, I'm staring at daddy's pocket watch, watching the second hand tick away. It's the only normal thing I can think of to comfort me, when my daddy was here this watch was ticking, and even now when the watch's master is lost forever, it still ticks steadily away.

Lying here has given me a lot of time to think about various things. The biggest of which is coming to terms with the fact that I am actually an orphan now. My real father was on Titanic, and I am certain he didn't make it. I would have seen him the other day walking around deck, or more like, he would have seen or found me. But he is nowhere, and most of the third class didn't survive. Joey was lucky that way, my real father was not. How horrible that a man as good and kind as Mr. Andrews should die the same night and in the same way as someone like my real father.

I have my dolly with me still. She brings be great comfort, but I can't help but think of my poor teddy and Fluffy the sheep. My teddy and my dolly have always been together, since I opened their packages on Christmas day two years ago. She must miss him terribly. I know that teddy and fluffy shouldn't have gotten wet, but since they are stuffed and do not need to breathe, I imagine that they must be ok tucked in my bed. I comfort myself with the thought that they're getting to explore the ocean floor and probably have met lots of fish to be friends with.

My dolly also reminds me of home. I miss mummy and Elba so much. I wish mummy was here right now to comfort me and tell me that everything's going to be all right. It would be nice to hear it from her rather than a bunch of people I barely know. I wonder if she's found out by now, I wonder what she's thinking. What will she say when daddy and I don't come home or even send a telegram? I'd send her one, but I don't know how to do it and I haven't been able to ask Mr. Ismay.

Right now, I'm staring at the watch though with no particular thoughts in my head. I've been lying on the floor with the watch in front of my face for about five minutes. I think Mr. Ismay is sleeping again, at least he was last time I checked in on him. I wish he would speak, I wish he would say something, anything. The last time I heard his voice he was ordering the doctor to allow me to stay in the cabin with him. At least he's slightly aware of my presence! He won't actually talk to me though, even when I try to coax a few words out of him. Maybe he just doesn't know what to say, maybe that's why he doesn't speak to anyone. He simply doesn't have any words to say. Which is fine, I suppose even if I could get Mr. Ismay to speak, I wouldn't know what to speak to him about either. Titanic was all he used to talk about, now it's gone.

This floor is so comfortable! Well, maybe not that comfortable, but I like lying here on the plush carpet. My father's coat acting as a blanket also makes me feel very warm, almost safe. I can't sleep though, sleeping is bad! But oh, the ticking of the watch is steadily pulling me to sleep. I don't want to sleep! But, but I can't even fight it anymore! Maybe just a minute, I'll just close my eyes for a moment, just to rest. Ah, that feels so nice!

I'm still fearful that I'll have a dream. But so far, nothing about the Titanic has invaded my slumber. Dreamless sleep is fine, but if I must have a dream, I hope it's a good one with hot chocolate rivers and hills made of ice cream. That sounds like a fun place to be, oh and there have to be horses there too! I want horses in my dreamland! All different ones, with colored ribbons in their manes! And the leader of my group of horses will be a mighty grey one, with a black mane and tail and a white spot on his forehead just like in the picture! Maybe they'll have wings, so they can fly! And I'll ride on their backs as we soar over the sugar coated clouds!

Even though I keep thinking about all the lovely things I'd like to see in my dream, I suddenly find myself on Titanic. No! This is exactly what I didn't want to happen! I didn't want to see this ship ever again! Not even in my dreams! I look around frantically, nobody's screaming, as far as I can hear, and nobody's dying. Maybe it won't be so bad, maybe I'm just on the ship like before it sank, when I thought it was the best place in the whole wide world! Wait a minute, I'm standing in the smoking room again! No! This is just like the sinking! Except, the floor is tilting at a much sharper incline than I remember. If I'm here, then daddy must be, yes! He's still there! By the fireplace, hanging onto the mantle!

His head is bowed and he doesn't seem to notice me. "Daddy?" I call, he doesn't hear me! I try to approach him, but it's as though my feet have been nailed to the floor! The ship creaks and I begin to tremble with fear, something is definitely going to happen, something terrible. Oh please don't let me see it, I don't want to see anything! My father looks up briefly, adjusting the clock, before bowing his head and closing his eyes once more. What does that clock say? 2:15? And from what I've heard, Titanic completely vanished at 2:20. That means only 5 minutes! Please, please don't let me see something terrible! Please don't let me! I feel tears slip down my cheeks and I can't stop shaking from the fright, I don't want to see this! I'm so scared! What's going to happen to him, to me?

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, the windows shatter and water pours in! My daddy barely has time to raise his head and look before the wave has crashed into him, smashing him into the mantle and making him vanish from sight. I try to call out for him but the same wave that crashed into him takes me down. Help! I can't swim! Oh this water is cold! So cold! It's as though I'm being stabbed a thousand times all over! I try again to call out for my father again but saltwater fills my mouth and I cough. I can't swim! Somebody help me! Save me! Save daddy! I don't even know where he is! The water sucks me under, please save me! Somebody save me I'm going to die!

There's a voice calling for me, help me help me! Whoever you are please save me! I'm going to die! I can't breathe! Suddenly I jolt awake, gasping for air, it was only a dream! Thank goodness! I begin to cry, in spite of wanting to stay strong for the remainder of the voyage, I cry!

"Alice, please don't cry! It was only a dream, you're safe," a gentle voice speaks from my side. I turn my head to see Mr. Ismay sitting in a chair next to my bed, stroking my hand gently and trying to sooth me. "It's all right," he tries to assure me again, though his voice quivers and he looks incredibly uncertain of himself. He seems to be attempting to remain calm, though there are certainly a lot of cracks in his resolve. I suddenly realize I'm not on the floor, where I fell asleep in the first place, I'm lying on a bed.

For a moment though, I can't think of anything but what I just saw. It was horrible, I never want to see it again! I reach around me to pull my father's coat closer for comfort, but I notice I'm not wearing it anymore! I look around frantically, "Where is it?" I gasp, turning to Mr. Ismay, "Where did you put it?" I demand.

He calmly stands up and crosses the room quickly, where I can see he has carefully draped it over the back of a chair. He picks it up wordlessly, and then brings it back to me, I rip it from him and hug it tightly, burying my face in the fabric and turning away from Mr. Ismay. I'll never let it go, and Mr. Ismay isn't going to lay a hand on it ever again! I was a fool to let daddy go, I should have stayed there and died with him! After everything he's done for me and he died alone in the most horrible way!

Mr. Ismay hushes me, "Alice, listen to me. Whatever you saw in your dream, it wasn't real," he tells me, placing a gentle hand on my arm.

I shake my head and continue to cry, "Oh no Uncle Ismay," I sob, "It was real, it had to have been real!"

He stares at me with a surprised look on his face, "What did you just call me?" he asks.

I turn around and look at him, sniffling, "What?" I ask, what is he talking about?

His voice trembles as he hands me a handkerchief. "You just called me your Uncle!" he tells me. Did I just call him that?

I suppose I didn't realize it in the moment, I smile sheepishly, "I'm sorry," I tell him. I'm not sorry.

He shakes his head, "No, it's all right," he tells me, patting my hand gently before running a hand through his hair. Usually it's slicked perfectly, but it's completely disheveled now. Actually, Mr. Ismay's overall appearance is disheveled. He's still in his pajamas, which are completely wrinkled, and besides the mustache he's usually pretty clean shaven, which isn't the case now. He sighs and looks at me, "Why didn't you tell me you were tired? You shouldn't have gone to sleep on the floor," he tells me gently.

"I didn't mean to sleep on the floor Mr. Ismay, it just happened," I reply, it's the truth! I hadn't even meant to fall asleep in the first place! I was just resting my eyes for a moment! Besides, even if I had told him I was tired, I'm not sure he would have heard me.

"This is your father's pocket watch isn't it?" he asks suddenly, holding up the golden watch by the chain, dangling it in front of me.

I reach out and take it back from him, putting it back carefully into the pocket of my father's coat, "It was in his coat pocket, which he put on me to keep warm," I reply honestly. I don't really want to talk about this, but I have no one else left to open up to. Something tells me Mr. Ismay doesn't have anyone to open up to either, maybe it would be best if I told him some things, then maybe he'd open up just a little bit.

I reach into the coat pocket and pull out my father's journal, "I found this too!" I run my hand over the cover of it before holding it out to Mr. Ismay, "I want to read it, but I don't know how to read very well," I confess.

He takes the journal from me carefully, as though it will burst into flames the minute he touches it. He opens it to a random page and begins reading it, as his eyes scan the page I can see the color slowly draining from his face much like it did when we were sitting in the lifeboat. Hey! Mr. Ismay can read it! Maybe he'll read it out loud for me so I can know what it says! It's worth a shot!

Before I can answer he quickly shuts the book and gives it back to me, I push it back towards him, "Mr. Ismay, since I can't read it, maybe, could you read it to me?" I ask.

He stares at the journal a long time before swallowing uncomfortably, "Alice, I think that this is something you need to read on your own someday. It's not something that should be read to you, don't share it with anyone. Understand?" he asks. I don't understand, why can't he just read it to me? He knew my father!

I shake my head, "But Mr. Ismay! I don't know how to read!" I press.

He looks back down at the journal before pushing it to me once more, "One day you'll learn how to read, and then you will be able to read it for yourself."

We sit in silence before Mr. Ismay pats my hand, "I think you should try to sleep a little bit. We'll be arriving in New York tomorrow. It's..." He pauses, like he's searching for the right words, "It's going to be a big day."

He stands to leave but I reach out and grab his arm, "Wait! What's going to happen to me when we get to New York?" I have to make sure, if he tells me I'm on my own, then I'll have to go find Joey first thing tomorrow morning. But if he tells me to stay with him, then obviously I'll be staying with Mr. Ismay.

He sits back down in the chair next to the bed, he looks so sad, like he's pleading something of me. What do I have to give him though? I've given him everything I can already! Finally he speaks, his voice soft and barely above a whisper. "Oh Alice, I've wronged a lot of people. But if there's one person I wronged more than anyone, it was your father. If it weren't for me, he'd be here with you and you wouldn't be asking me this. Keeping you with me, making sure you make it back to Belfast, it's the least I can do for him," his voice pitches slightly as he speaks. Oh no, I didn't mean to make him cry! Please don't cry! I won't ask any more questions! I'll be a good girl!

Even though I think he's on the verge of another breakdown, he continues, "You're going to stay with me, and whatever you want you promise not to be afraid to ask me! Do you promise it?" he asks. I nod and he seems slightly relieved. "I want to ask you one more thing" he says, softly, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Forgive him? For what? He hasn't done anything wrong! He has done nothing but try to support me as best he could, and yet he's sitting here begging me to forgive him! Does he believe my father's death, along with the deaths of all those passengers, is his fault? It isn't! Never! It was nobody's fault, I think. What do I say though? Do I forgive him? Do I tell him there's nothing to forgive? He looks so desperate, so full of despair it breaks my heart and makes me want to actually hug him and comfort him in every way I know.

"I forgive you Uncle Ismay," I finally reply, I think it was the best answer.

He sighs as though a great weight has been taken off his shoulders, and even smiles slightly before standing, "Rest now, you're going to want to have your wits about you when we arrive tomorrow."

With that, he's gone, leaving me to lie in this bed alone. He didn't even bid me goodnight! Gee thanks, well at least I know he cares about me a little bit, even if it is out of misplaced guilt. He told me to go to sleep, but after that dream I just woke up from, how can I possibly go to sleep? Just the thought of it makes my eyes brim with tears! I wipe them away quickly and close my eyes, hugging my dolly to my chest. Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts!

Toys as Christmas, sleigh bells, snow, horses, yes those are some of my favorite things. What else can I think of? I keep my eyes shut and try to list off all my favorite things. Climbing trees in the garden, and nights when Elba doesn't wake up not even once! I like looking at the stars at night, and imagining that I might fly someday like the characters in that book Bessie read Elba and I not too long ago, what was it called? Peter and Wendy? I liked that story. I try to think of as many wonderful thoughts as I can, but many of them involve Titanic and Mr. Andrews.

I would like to hope that someday, I'll be able to think about the happy memories I have of Titanic, because there are many of them. I have many memories of Mr. Andrews too, and I want to remember. Yet every time I do, my heart aches badly and I wish more than anything in the whole wide world that he were here with me. If I could just talk to him one more time, I'd never ask for anything else ever again. The sound of his voice was always so soothing.

Glancing over at the window, I get up and walk over to it. I look out to the sky, the stars are barely visible from this angle, but I still see a star. The first star I see, the wishing star. I lace my fingers together, looking up at that star and focusing on it. "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight," I whisper. I have to pause and swallow the lump forming in my throat before continuing, "I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." I close my eyes, wishing harder than I've ever wished before in my entire life. "Please, please, please, let me see Mr. Andrews again someday."

It is a foolish wish, I know it is. Because he's gone, and people don't come back alive again once that happens. But, somehow I still hope. Daddy said he was always with me, and perhaps that means that someway, somehow, I just might meet him again. Maybe in a dream, not the frightening ones I've been having. Maybe, yes maybe, I'll actually have a good dream. I need a good dream.

**A/N: So Wendy and Peter is the actual title of the book that Peter Pan is from, in case you were wondering. I think it's the only historically accurate piece of literature Alice has been exposed to so far in this story! This and the next chapter are nearly identical to their originals, with just a few things added here and there. The ending has been broken up a bit, as it has quite a bit of added stuff in it and it got too long. So, only about 5 chapters left after this one! Please review pretty please with sugar on top, and Thanks for Reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

Thank goodness I'm not the fainting type, because the crowd that is waiting for us in New York would definitely be faint worthy! Ok, perhaps I am the fainting type sometimes, but I'm not actually afraid of everything. There are so many people here though, it's difficult for anyone not to be at least a little nervous! You can't even see the streets! It reminds me a little bit of when we left Southampton, only not nearly as happy. Cameras are flashing like crazy and people are yelling at us! Mr. Ismay is tense beside me as we wait our turn to leave this boat. If we should be worried about anyone fainting, it should probably be him! He looks scared to death!

Right now, I have to worry about getting through these crowds! It's our turn to walk down the gangplank, and the minute the people see my grumpy uncle they burst into an uproar that could make a person go deaf! I remain on his arm and walk with him down to the street, clutching my dolly tightly. The officers and police nearby try to push people back, but they seem to be struggling slightly. Cameras flash in my eyes, questions are thrown at me left and right. Hey! I don't want any pictures taken of me! I'm wearing my father's coat, over my regular coat, over the dress those nice ladies made for me, which isn't necessarily the prettiest dress in the world. At least I'm wearing shoes, but they aren't really something to be seen out in public wearing. Mr. Ismay let me borrow his slippers because I realized my slippers had been completely ruined. I'm glad to have shoes, but his slippers are much too big for my feet! I can't even begin to imagine what my hair must look like! Mummy would be so embarrassed.

Mr. Ismay looks a bit more presentable than me, he finally cleaned himself up this morning and someone gave him a suit so he wouldn't have face the press in his pajamas. He's already going to be made out as being a coward, at least according to him, so I don't see what difference it makes what he's wearing. Luckily for me, nobody knows who I am, and I'd rather like to keep it that way! I don't want people questioning me about daddy, I don't know if I could answer any questions about him! However, as we push through the crowd trying to get to the nearest cab, I hear a woman desperately asking officers about Thomas Andrews. I turn to her voice, I'd like to at least tell her he's not coming, but Mr. Ismay pulls me along and I'm forced to follow him.

We make it to a cab and Mr. Ismay tells the driver to go to some hotel, telling him that he'll pay a lot if he can get us there quickly. I sit quietly in my seat with my dolly in my lap and pull out daddy's pocket watch, flipping it open. It's still going steadily, so I place it back into my pocket and wait until we arrive at the hotel. When we get there, Mr. Ismay quickly gets 2 rooms and ushers me towards one of the lifts. "Now Alice, this is your room key. If you need anything, I'll be right next door. Just knock all right?" he asks, I nod wordlessly and take the key as we finally make it to our rooms.

I enter my room and flop on the bed, I'm in New York! The streets didn't look like they were paved with gold, not like I'd be able to tell though, there were too many people. Besides, Mr. Ismay told me they weren't paved with gold, and so far he seems to be honest with me. So, if he says there are no gold streets, then I guess there aren't any. I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow.

Honestly, even after everything, I'd like to go out and see the sights! All the things Mr. Ismay told me about that one day at tea! Manhattan's nights, and the bright lights of the Coney Island amusement park! I want to eat one of those things called a hot dog, which are supposed to be even better than a sandwich! And the horse races at Belmont! I bet Mr. Ismay would take me, or Joey!

Ah Joey, I sit up and reach into my pocket, I saw Joey earlier today before the ship arrived in New York. He told me he was staying with a relative for a little while because the Derby isn't for another week or so. He wrote down the address for me! And here it is! I'll go there one of these days and see him! Maybe he'll take me to the races like daddy was going to, and maybe he can help me pick a horse in the claiming races! That's my new secret goal here in New York, I want a horse like the one in the picture! I'm going to have to ask Mr. Ismay for some money in order to buy the horse, but I'm sure he'll give me plenty of money! He told me if I wanted anything just ask. All I'm going to ask for is the horse though, and maybe ask him to take me out into New York to see the sights! That doesn't seem like too much to ask for!

I'm roused the next morning by a loud banging at my door. But it's so early! I groan and pull a pillow over my head, whoever it is needs to understand I am busy with very important matters! Like getting some much needed sleep! They just keep banging on the door though, but now there's a voice to join the obnoxious banging. "Alice! Open this door before my arms fall off!" What? That's a very peculiar thing to say. Now they've peaked my curiosity, whoever they are! I hop out of my bed and run to the door, I just have to know what would cause a person to say that!

Maybe I should leave them out there and see if their arms really do fall off! "ALICE!" the voice barks again. I quickly open the door and Mr. Ismay comes barging in, with an armload of boxes. He unloads them, or more like drops them, on the couch, wiping sweat off his brow, "The staff is absolutely useless around here," he mutters before turning to leave. What? After an entrance like that he's just going to leave?

I grab his arm, "Hey! What's all this?" I ask him, still trying to stifle giggles.

He turns to me, raising an eyebrow. "Well Alice, I thought you might need something more proper to wear, considering you're still in your nightgown," he replies, still trying to escape.

I finally let myself laugh, "Well this is a lot of boxes, what exactly did you buy?" I ask him.

He glances at the boxes, "To be completely honest, I wasn't sure exactly what to buy," he says, rather defensively.

I look at the boxes, there are more than I can count at first glance. I turn back to him, still laughing, "Did you buy out the whole store?" I ask him. From what he's saying, I think he knows as much about girls fashion as Mr. Andrews did.

He shakes his head, smiling slightly, "Might as well have, it took me almost all morning just to decide on those things! You should have everything you would need in there though. Now get dressed, or I'm going to change my mind about taking you out to see the city."

I immediately let go of his arm and race to the boxes, tearing them open like it's Christmas morning. I want to see New York! I didn't think he'd take me so readily, so soon! I thought I'd have to pry him to get him to take me!

Gee, Mr. Ismay sure wasn't kidding when he might as well have bought out the whole store! There are so many different dresses here to choose from! And shoes, and jewelry, and ew, he found stays. Dang it Uncle Ismay! You couldn't just let me go without it? I can't even get into it by myself! What am I going to do? I look up and see a button on the wall to call staff, might as well ring for a maid. Daddy did it for me on Titanic, but I can be a big girl now and do it all by myself! I stand and ring the bell, nothing happens. Ok then, I'll just have to figure out this corset and these dresses by myself!

Suddenly there's a knock at the door and a voice calls out. Oh thank goodness! That button worked after all! I open the door and the room service maid shuffles in. All right, now I just have to decide what to wear! This maid, much like Angelica, begins going through my clothes after she asks me what I want to wear and I tell her I have no idea. She picks up a pretty rose pink dress, "I think this would look nice on you miss," she tells me. Ok it's settled then! I'll wear it! She and I search through more boxes looking for shoes and jewelry that matches, along with a hair ribbon.

Once we have everything, she begins getting me into it. The stays being tightened upsets me ever so slightly, I haven't worn one in days! Last time I wore one, I was on the Titanic.

I miss being on Titanic, I loved Titanic. Now I'm afraid of seeing it ever again, and I try to blink away the few tears that spring to my eyes at just the thoughts. Daddy would be so upset to know I no longer loved his most prized creation. He went down loving that ship. I ended up abandoning the ship and well, I don't think I hate Titanic, but I certainly don't love it like I once did. I think about this as the maid does my hair for me. Having my blonde mess of hair finally combed out properly feels wonderful! Finally, I'm ready to head out for the day! This is the best I've looked in quite a while!

I thank the maid and step out of my room, practically skipping next door to Mr. Ismay's room. I knock on the door and he almost immediately answers it. Obviously he went shopping for himself too, because he has a brand new suit, hat, and cane. Even his shoes look brand new! He holds out his hand to me and I take it.

"All right Alice, I'm taking you to Coney Island today and I expect you to be on your very best behavior. I think it's better to go there than in the city where the press is waiting to snap pictures of me. I'll have you know I had the absolute worst time this morning just trying to buy some decent clothing!" he rambles. He's starting to sound like his old, grumpy self, and I smile at that, I want the old Mr. Ismay back. I want the irritable, overly confident, pompous Mr. Ismay at my side. Which is odd, if someone asked me if I wanted that Mr. Ismay at my side a few months ago I would have said they were crazy!

We catch a cab once we reach the street, and I have to contain myself so I don't bounce in the seat. I remember last time I had this much trouble controlling myself, was when Mr. Andrews and I were on our way to get on the Titanic for the start of her maiden voyage. I deflate a bit at this, I shouldn't be so excited. Mr. Ismay must have noticed my sudden change because he looks over at me, "Something the matter Alice?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, I was just thinking. Last time I was this excited was when we were departing for Titanic's maiden voyage," I confess.

He becomes uneasy and clears his throat, "Oh, I see." He pauses before continuing, "You're excited to see Coney Island?" he asks, like he isn't sure.

I laugh, "Of course! You made it sound so amazing before! I want to see everything you told me about! Like the hot dogs! And the roller coaster! And everything else!"

As I speak he nods, "Yes, we can see all of those things," he tells me. When we get there he gets out, before coming to my side and opening the door for me. I bolt out and take in everything! Look at this place! It's so, amazing! Mr. Ismay offers his arm and I take it. There are a lot of people here, wouldn't want to get lost! Oh what should we do first? Where should we go?

Mr. Ismay leads me down the boardwalk, it's a beautiful day out. Lots of people are on the beach, playing in the ocean or simply lying in the sand enjoying the sunshine. Women stroll down the boardwalk on the arms of their lovers, or in groups where they all hold parasols. The whole scene is like something out of a painting. I watch children run up and down the beach in their bathing suits, smiling and laughing as they have a fun day. I feel sadness tugging on my heart. Today is such a perfect day, it's strangely peaceful and nice. How could there be a day as nice as this, when just a few nights ago the worst thing in the world happened. I sure wish Mr. Andrews was here, more than anything in the whole world.

"Well Alice, what shall we do first? Whatever you want to do, we'll go do it!" Mr. Ismay tells me, drawing me away from my melancholy thoughts. As we walk I spot a curious thing, there are 6 or so metal tracks all in a row, with wooden horses on them! And people are riding on the horses like in a race! I point it out to Mr. Ismay, "Ah yes, that's the steeplechase," he merely states.

I tug his arm, "Can we ride on it! Please?" I ask him.

He stands and looks at it for a while, "Well, I've never liked rides much," he admits.

I begin heading towards it though, pulling him along with me as we enter the park. I want to ride the horses! "Oh come on Mr. Ismay! It looks like fun! You can't knock it til you try it!" I tell him. Mummy and Daddy used to tell me that when I didn't want to eat what was for dinner. I giggle thinking that I just had to say it to a grown-up.

While we wait in line he continues to watch the ride warily, as though he has a hope it might suddenly break and then he won't have to get on it. I'm watching all the stuff going on around here. There are all sorts of exotic animals and such here. Elephants and camels, real live ones! Not like the mechanical ones that had been on Titanic, I mean real camels! I wonder if it's the same to ride a real one, or perhaps I'd like to ride an elephant?

Unfortunately for Mr. Ismay, now it's our turn to get on the steeplechase! They tell us we both have to ride on the same horse, and Mr. Ismay has to be in front. He mounts the wooden horse and one of the ride attendants picks me up and places me on behind him. "You may wanna hold on little miss," he tells me. Suddenly I'm a little bit scared, and I wrap my arms around Mr. Ismay's waist.

The ride starts and we begin going up the first lift hill. What if I fall off? There's nothing to hold me on here! My grip on Mr. Ismay tightens and I can feel him tense up, "Alice! If you're scared now I'm going to be a very unhappy man! You were the one who wanted to get on this!" he tells me. We reach the top of the hill with the other horses and the ride starts. At first I hold on so tight I think it's difficult for poor Uncle Ismay to breath, but as the ride continues I think both of us realize there's nothing to be afraid of.

My grip loosens and I don't hide my face in the back of Mr. Ismay's jacket. We both laugh as we get off, "That wasn't so bad!" he says proudly, swinging his cane as we move on to the next attraction. I'm glad to have given him such a confidence boost.

"Oh! Mr. Ismay! Can I ride the elephant or a camel?" I ask. He looks unsure about it, but once again I begin tugging him towards the animals. Fearlessly I walk up to the man in charge, "I'd like to ride!" I tell him. He turns to Mr. Ismay, and the two of them begin negotiating.

"Sir how much for her to ride one of these?"

"That depends, ya want 'er on the camel or the elephant?"

"Which is safer?"

"They're both plenty safe!"

"I hardly care which then."

"Harry! Throw this kid up on the camel and take her around once!" He turns back to Ismay, "If ya want a photograph of her that'll cost extra," he says.

Oh my goodness I get to ride a camel! But more importantly, I could have a photograph taken of me! If I had a photo of me on the camel, I could show mummy! "Take a picture of me on there so I can show everyone back home! Can you?"

He sighs, "Take a photograph and it better be a good one!"

Before I can thank him a man comes and leads me over to a real live camel. I've never actually seen one in person, it's even bigger than a horse! It's bigger than an automobile! And how strange it looks! It's lying down so he can easily pick me up and plop me on its back. He hands me a rope and then has the camel stand up. I nearly fall off and hold on tightly as it stands up.

How strange this feels! I'm so high up! This doesn't feel like the mechanical camel in the gymnasium at all! I smile and wave at Mr. Ismay, who is standing with a worried expression on his face. Does he think I'll fall off? I giggle, I'll bet Mr. Andrews wouldn't have been so worried about me up on this camel. Once we've been around the square once, they stop the camel and tell me to look at the camera and smile. I give them my biggest and bestest smile, and once they've taken the picture, they have the camel lie down so I can get off, while Mr. Ismay pays.

Once that's done, we head to Luna Park. There's a big wooden structure up ahead, that reaches up to the sky. Mr. Ismay points at it, "That's a roller coaster!" he tells me.

I begin tugging him once again, "Let's go!"

Drop-The-Dips is what the ride's called. People scream as they ride it, I wonder why? Mr. Ismay and I get put in a car, with a metal bar pulled down onto our laps. This is funny, but at least I'm not sitting behind him this time! The rollercoaster starts and begins clicking up the first hill. I wonder how high this is? It's certainly far above the peoples' heads down below, and higher than the camel was! We reach the top and I look down, this is a lot steeper than the horse ride. I'm not liking the looks of this! Suddenly the car goes down the hill and I let out a scream! This is scary! I hang onto the bar on my lap so tightly my knuckles turn white! The turns are so sharp I feel like I'm going to fly out! Then the thing drops out from under me again! Mr. Ismay hasn't made a single sound, but I'm not taking my eyes off the track ahead to check on him!

When we finally pull into the station, I check Mr. Ismay to make sure he hasn't had a heart attack and died. Luckily for the both of us, I believe he still has a pulse, but he looks very flustered. When we get back on the street he takes out his pocket watch, "That's," he takes a deep breath to steady himself, "That's enough rides for today don't you think so?" he asks. I merely nod, "You're quite pale, why don't we sit down?" he asks. To that, I also nod, my legs feel like jelly!

It's beginning to grow a bit late, as the sun sets over the ocean, the bright colorful lights of Coney Island flash on. They're so dazzling! I can't even describe them really! There are just so many, it's bright enough to make it seem like it's still daytime, and there are all different colors! Now that we've caught our breath I stand up, "Come on Mr. Ismay! There has to be more to do around here!" I say.

He stands and takes my hand, "Alice! We haven't even seen half of it!"

So the rest of our night is absolute, well, dare I say it, bliss! I finally got to try a hot dog! Which I must say was definitely better than a sandwich! Especially with this stuff on it called ketchup, and mustard! Yummy! It was so good I had to have another one after the first! And I also convinced Mr. Ismay to play a game where he had to throw a baseball at some bottles that were stacked. He won a stuffed bear that was white with a red, white, and blue striped bow tie with a matching vest. After he won it he gave it to me and said that I could keep it! It's very soft! I was almost tempted to tell Mr. Ismay his aim is much better than daddy's, the snowball incident from long ago coming to mind, but I refrained.

After that, it began to grow late. Our last activity in Coney Island is a carousel with carved wooden horses, much more intricate than the steeplechase horses. Mr. Ismay decides to sit on a bench with my bear while I go on. The other people on the ride with me are trying to play the game where you reach out and grab some little brass rings off a hook. But after a long day, I just like sitting on the horse, petting its mane and going around and around while listening to the pretty melody the organ is playing. It is soothing to say the least, after so much chaos, it's nice to just sit on this wooden horse and not have anything to worry about.

The ride stops and I hop off, giving my wooden steed a pat on the neck before I return to Mr. Ismay's side. He stands and sighs, offering me his free arm as he carries my bear in the other. We walk quietly out to the sidewalk, and Mr. Ismay hails a cab to return to the hotel. Once I'm in the seat I sit back and begin falling asleep. Today made me so tired! Mr. Ismay prods me, "Did you have a good time today?" he asks, is he still unsure that I wouldn't like today? I loved today! I'll cherish today forever!

I smile and nod, beginning to close my eyes, "Today was wonderful," I tell him.

I don't think Mr. Ismay wanted to carry me up to my room, but at least he was decent enough to let me sleep until we reached the hotel. When we get there he shakes me awake and we both head upstairs wordlessly to our own rooms. The silence is broken when he hands me my bear and bids me goodnight before heading into his room. I enter my own room and close the door behind me, then I have to sigh in irritation! I have to call the stupid maid in here to help me out of this dress! Huffing, I hit the button before placing my bear on the bed and pulling the ribbon out of my hair.

Finally the maid comes and helps me undress. Mr. Ismay got me plenty of day clothes, but he didn't get me a new nightgown, which means I'm stuck with my one that I got off the Titanic in. It's looking a little worn now, but I suppose I won't be wearing it too long. At least it was washed today while I was out, so it isn't sticky and covered in sea water. Soon I'll be back in Belfast, just like Mr. Ismay said the other day on our rescue ship! And then I'll get a new nightgown.

I crawl into bed and hug my bear into my chest. I think I'm going to name him Dip, after the rollercoaster I survived with Mr. Ismay! Wow, I had a good day with Mr. Ismay, and we didn't speak about Titanic not even once! I wonder how long this peaceful time will last. From the cameras flashing when we got off the ship, I don't think we have long.

**A/N: Coney Island, it was a ridiculously lively place and I couldn't resist sending Alice there. It also makes for a nice change after, you know, a lot of chapters dealing with some pretty heavy subject matter. We're almost to the end everybody! Pretty please review? Maybe? Anyways, Thanks for Reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

Things have taken a turn for the absolute worst. I don't know how to handle it anymore! I'm all alone in this big stupid city, because Mr. Ismay won't even talk to me! I haven't seen him in days, aside from a picture or two of him in the newspaper. I couldn't read what the paper said about the pictures, but I think the boy trying to sell it was calling Mr. Ismay the biggest coward of the century. This city is terribly mean! Suddenly America isn't all it was cracked up to be, I just wanna go home.

The day after our outing to Coney Island, which seems like forever ago today, Mr. Ismay got a note telling him he had to report to some kind of Inquiry. He told me it would be best if I didn't attend. At first I wasn't sure why he wouldn't want me to attend, but decided it must be for my own good. Maybe it would be boring or something, who knows. I didn't even know what the Inquiry was about. I figured out what was going on after the first day though. When Mr. Ismay got back after that first day of the Inquiry, he went into his room and wouldn't speak to me. I wasn't sure what happened at first, but he must be upset, which probably meant the Inquiry had something to do with Titanic! I left him alone that day.

Three more days passed, he still didn't speak to me and I began to get angry. So much for asking if I needed anything! On the fifth day of him not speaking to me, I angrily went to his door and pounded on it until my hand felt like it would break. I screamed and screamed at him to open the door until my voice went hoarse! He even had the nerve to answer my cries through the door, he told me to piss off! How dare he! He can't just abandon me here! The big jerkface! When he told me to piss off I called him some very nasty things through his door, stuff that I'd heard workers at Harland and Wolff say and that Daddy had told me were very vulgar and unladylike for me to repeat. But despite the mean things I said, the last thing I said I believe stung the worst, for both Mr. Ismay and for myself. I was so angry though, and it came out before I could think about it, "I hate you Mr. Ismay, you stupid coward! I wish you'd died on the Titanic instead of Mr. Andrews!" With that I gave the door a final angry kick before storming into my room and slamming the door behind me.

I have not been out of my room since. Nobody has bothered me, thank goodness, but it's so lonely being in here. And after all my anger wore off I could do nothing but sob into my pillow. I promised daddy I'd be a good girl and then I nearly broke down a man's door and said such horrible things just because I wasn't getting my way! Especially that last one, although thinking deeper into it, it is true. I do wish Mr. Andrews was here instead of Mr. Ismay. But do I really wish for Mr. Ismay to have died? No, I wish nobody had died on the Titanic, I wish Mr. Andrews AND Mr. Ismay were here with me in New York. Today is a new day though, at least, I hope it is. So far I haven't had the urge to cry, but then again, it's still rather early in the morning, and I'm thinking about some hurtful things.

As I lie in my bed staring up at the ceiling, a piece of paper sitting on my bedside table catches my eye and drags me away from my painful thoughts. I've been so filled with grief lately, I must not have noticed it. I sit up and pick up the paper, trying to read it. Wait a moment, this is Joey's address! I recognize his handwriting. That's it! I'll go see Joey like I promised! If anyone can get me feeling better after all this chaos, it'll be him! Maybe today I can get the horse of my dreams! But wait, I'm going to need money for that! And Mr. Ismay has the money, but he won't talk to me.

That isn't going to stop me though! I open my door and march over to his room, I think he's still in there, the Inquiry doesn't start for another hour according to my daddy's pocket watch, which I checked before coming over. I knock on the door and call in an absurdly high squeaky voice, "Cleaning service!" I press my ear against the door and listen carefully, will he buy it? Will he open the door? Suddenly there's a click and then there's no door holding me up. I fall into the room on my face, but at least I'm in the room!

Mr. Ismay is looking down at me with a surprised look on his face, "Alice! What are you doing?" he demands, helping me up.

I brush off my nightgown before looking up at him, "I need something, but I knew you wouldn't open the door! So I lied!" I reply honestly.

He stares at me flabbergasted before clearing his throat, "All right then, what do you want?" he asks.

Suddenly I feel a little guilty asking for money, especially after I was so mad at him the other day. I swallow, "Money sir," I reply timidly.

Immediately he turns on his heel and heads across the room to a desk that's covered with papers. He rips open a drawer that is filled to the brim with green paper. In the blink of an eye he pulls out 2 handfuls and shoves them into me, "There, now, if you would please leave I have to get ready to leave soon!"

He pushes me out of his room and slams the door behind me. Fine then! I have to leave soon too! I head back over to my room and put the money on my bed, carefully sorting through it. This currency is different than what we have in Ireland, I don't know how much this is! I suppose it's a lot though, I quickly call for the maid and begin rummaging through the boxes to see if I can find a bag of some kind to carry all this American currency in! By the time I find one, the maid is knocking at my door and I quickly let her in. I know what to expect by now, she's going to ask me what I want to wear. I hand her the bag, "Fine something to match this bag please," I tell her.

With my request, she begins going through all the dresses, finding a red and white one. She makes quick work dressing me too, which is nice. I just want to get out and find Joey! When she finishes I grab my bag of American money and practically run out of the room down to the lobby of the hotel. How do I get to this address anyway? I don't know how to read it really, and even if I could read it, I don't know how to get around this strange city! I suppose I'll have to catch a cab and hope he can get me there! I step out onto the street, it's so busy! But it's so early in the morning, actually, I reach into my coat pocket and check daddy's pocket watch, it's only 10.

Now, which one of these is a cab? Is it these yellow ones? I timidly walk up to one parked outside the hotel, opening the back door and stepping in. The driver turns around, "First time in the big city little lady?" he asks.

I nod nervously and hand him the paper with the address, "Don't be so nervous! I'll get you where you want to be, this is a taxi. But uh, are you sure this is the right address?" he asks, looking down at the paper. "This is in the slums! No place for a little lady like yourself."

I nod, "It's right, I uh, met a friend on my trip to New York. That's the address he gave me." I tell him. He looks like he wants to ask more questions, like where my parents are and such. But instead he merely shrugs and begins driving.

What is a slum anyway? I wonder what mummy would think of me going to this 'slum' that no first class ladies are supposed to be going to. Oh shoot! I still haven't written to mummy! She must be panicking because she hasn't heard from Mr. Andrews or from me! I still don't know how to send a telegram though, and I can't write a letter because my writing isn't good enough!

Suddenly the cab comes to a stop in front of a dirty looking brick building, "Here we are miss" he says. I have to pay don't I? I reach into my bag and begin pulling out bills. How many of these do I give him? I'll give him five! I hand him the bills and he laughs, his eyes growing wide "Woah miss, you just gave me 100 dollars!"

Oh, that's a bit much isn't it? I take back four of the bills before getting out before he can stop me. I'm well aware I just gave him a 20 dollar bill, but I think that all Mr. Ismay gave me was twenty dollar bills!

So, now what? I knock on the door of the building and swallow. A kid answers the door, he's looks to be about my age. This must be the cousin Joey was telling me about on our rescue ship. He's got a cigarette in his mouth, his dark hair is shaggy and unkempt, practically covering his eyes. He puffs smoke in my face, "What can I do ya girl?" he asks.

I swallow nervously, though I shouldn't be intimidated by this kid. I bet I could knock him down if I really wanted to. "I'm lookin for Joey," I say.

He nods and pushes the door open all the way, tramping inside "Hey Joey! Got some rich kid at the door!" he calls.

I hear some thumping from upstairs before I see the red head peak down the stairs, "Alice! I thought you would never come!" He says cheerfully, "Just give me a minute to get ready!"

I decide to just stand quietly and wait. Honestly, I'm a little scared of who I might encounter here. The boy that answered the door didn't really give me any high hopes, what if I get robbed in here? I think I realize now what that cab driver was talking about when he said this was no place for me!

Suddenly a tall fellow with light brown hair wearing a white shirt and brown vest comes into one of the doorways, leaning against it, "Hey there. I hear you're here for Joey," he says.

I nod and he approaches slowly, cause my heart to begin pounding in my chest. "Aw, why be here for him. I'm way better than he could ever dream o bein!"

Joey finally comes down the stairs, "Rooster ya better not be harassing 'er!" he says with a goofy smile.

This man, Rooster I suppose his name is, shrugs, "How'd ya manage to befriend a cute little rich gal Joey? Gals livin on Easy Street are practically impossible to even talk to! Especially the kids!"

Easy street? I voice my confusion, "What's easy street?" I ask him.

He laughs, "It's the life you rich folks live! Livin on easy street, means your life is, well, easy! Dressed in the very best," he gestures to my dress, "And eatin like a king, or queen. Never havin to work a day in yer life!"

I smile, "You make it sound like heaven. You know I'm an orphan, and I used to be poorer than you!" I tell him.

Rooster once again laughs, "Ain't nobody poorer than me!" he replies.

I need to just tell Joey what I want. I didn't come here to socialize with this Rooster fellow, no matter how entertaining he's turning out to be.

"Joey, I want you to take me to Belmont racetrack, to see the claiming races you were talking about!" I tell him.

His smile drops slightly, "I'm afraid I can't bring ya Alice, otherwise I would," he replies sadly.

I tip my head, "Why can't you?" I ask him, really, why can't he?

He sighs, "All the racetracks in New York are closed, racing has been outlawed in this state," he replies. How am I supposed to get the horse now? He ruffles my hair and takes my arm, "Hey, don't get upset! I still know a place to get horses!" he tells me in his usual cheerful way.

With that Joey takes me out and we walk, and walk, and walk! Just when I think I can't walk another step he pulls me around a corner and I'm met by a sea of horses! It's like that book come to life! Horses, all different sizes and colors, all here in this one place! Joey laughs, "Like what ya see eh? Come on, I bet we can find a horse like in that pictya right here!" he tells me.

With that we begin going down the rows of horses. Some of them are small and cute, sniffing at children's hands as they reach out to pet them, others are massive. If the Titanic were a horse, it would be those ones! Some of them are kicking and pawing at the ground nervously, others look half asleep. Each of them are wanting a new home, but none of them are the horse from the picture.

Suddenly something catches my eye, a tall grey horse covered in dapples, its ears pricked and its eyes bright like stars. It swishes its black tail and shakes its pretty head, revealing a white spot hidden by its black mane. That's it! That's the horse! Right there! I drag Joey over and point at it, "This is the one Joey!" I tell him.

He looks at the horse, shaking his head, "She's heavy with a foal lass, she ain't gonna be any good for ridin'," he tells me.

I shake my head, "I don't care! This is the one Joey!"

The man, who I assume is the owner, smiles, oh, um, that's interesting, I didn't know teeth could fall out of adults. "I see the little lady has an eye for fine animals. Give me 200 and she's yours!" he says.

Joey looks like he's going to try to barter over the crazy amount, but I laugh, pulling out 10 of those green bills and handing them to the man. Joey stares at the money as though I just pulled solid blocks of gold out of my bag. I turn to him, "What's the matter? Get my horse!" I say.

He jumps, "Oh yea, right! Sorry," he dips into the horse's pen and puts a lead line on it, leading it out behind him. As we begin walking back towards the brick building he watches my horse, "What do ya think you're gonna call 'er lass?" he asks me curiously.

What am I going to call her? There are so many names to choose from, but I know of one that sticks out of my mind the most, "White Star".

Yes, White Star, after the White Star Line. Mr. Ismay technically paid for her, so therefore I think it would be fitting that she was named after his company that he loves so much. The company daddy designed Titanic for. Now that I have the horse though, where am I supposed to keep it? I can't take a horse that is about to have a baby back to Ireland with me. And where in Belfast am I supposed to put her? She won't fit in my backyard, and what would mummy say? I really should have thought this all out more.

When we reach Joey's house I put a hand on White Star's shoulder, it's my first time touching a real horse! I wish daddy was here to share the moment with me, he would have loved this horse. She's just the one he'd always wanted, just like the picture. I look at Joey, "Can you do something for me Joey?" I ask. He smiles and nods, "Can you take care of her for me?" I give him the bag loaded with money, "That should be enough to take care of her, and her baby when it comes."

He stares at the money and at the horse for a long time before nodding, "She'll be treated like a queen," he replies.

Now here we are, I think I'm going to have to bid farewell to my new horse, and to my friend. His face changes, "Aw Alice, don't cry!" he tells me, am I crying? I sniffle, I can't help crying, I'm going to miss them so much!

He opens his arms and I run into them, "I'm going to miss you Joey" I tell him.

He laughs, "Nah, it'll be all right. We'll write to each other! Ya?" he asks.

I nod, "Yes! I'll write to you!" I tell him, "I promise!" Now I really have some incentive to learn how to write well!

He suddenly pulls away, "Well ya betta tell me where ta send the letter to then!" he tells me. I have to think for a moment before I can finally tell him. I can't write the address, but I have it memorized and recite it while Joey writes it down himself.

Now that everything's settled, I turn to White Star, my new prize. I got her so quickly, almost thoughtlessly, and now I'm leaving her in Joey's more than capable hands. I trust him, he'll take good care of my pretty horse. I stroke her nose and she nuzzles my hand. What a sweetheart! Daddy used to call me sweetheart, I sniffle and stand on my tippy toes, wrapping my arms around her neck and, beginning to cry a little into her grey coat. I don't look at Joey, but I'm sure he's very confused as to why I'm crying again. Suddenly I feel his hand on my back, "I know you must miss yer da, he seemed like a great guy. But he wouldn't want ya cryin! He'd want ya embracin life! He'd want ya to get out there in the world and live life to the fullest! He did, now it's yer turn!" he tells me.

It takes a moment for it all to sink in, but when it does, I realize he's absolutely right! Daddy even told me in the smoking room that he wanted me to live my life. Daddy did, now I should carry on what he did and live the best life I can! I turn back to Joey and hug him again, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, "I have to go back, to easy street now," I say. We both laugh over Rooster's idea of the rich life. "Goodbye Joey," I finally say.

He grins in his big, goofy, typical way, "Goodbye Miss Alice, glad to have met ya!" he replies in his usual fashion. I turn back to White Star and give her a peck on the nose before heading down the street. Joey calls out to me "Hey!" I turn. "You're going the wrong way!" he tells me. I laugh and begin walking the opposite direction.

Since I gave all my money to Joey to take care of White Star, I have to walk all the way back to the hotel. By the time I get there, it's dark out. Of course the city itself is illuminated by many lights, so it doesn't feel as dark. I'm just glad I wasn't jumped on my way back here, there were some shady areas I had to go through before a nice lady and later a paperboy finally gave me proper directions. I'm so tired from all this walking! In these shoes! In these stays! I just want to go sleep for a week! And I'll be able to too, since Mr. Ismay still won't talk to me. I'm sure he'd go back across the ocean without me if his guilty conscience would allow it!

When I step into the lobby of the hotel, I'm confronted by a sight that is both confusing and heartbreaking at the same time. Mr. Ismay is sitting in one of the plush chairs, he looks like he's trying to hide tears. Should I approach him? I walk up to him slowly and the closer I get, the more confused and upset I become. I touch his shoulder, "Mr. Ismay?" I ask.

His eyes snap up and meet mine, he looks terribly upset about something. He jumps up suddenly and wraps his arms around me, "Don't you dare do that again! I thought you'd run away and I'd lost you! I'm sorry how I treated you this morning, and that I have been negligent! Please don't go off into the city by yourself, especially without telling me! It's dangerous!" he practically weeps.

I don't want to cause a scene in the middle of this place, so I take his hand and begin leading him to the lifts, "It's ok Mr. Ismay," I tell him, giving him a reassuring smile and squeezing his hand, it seems to sooth his nerves.

Neither of us says a word until we get back up to the safety of my cabin. He turns to me, running a hand through his hair. It's the first time in a few days I've really gotten a good look at him, he looks completely and utterly exhausted. Mentally, I'm sure he's barely pieced himself back together, and I feel guilt creep in on me for leaving him and saying the things that I did. He didn't truly deserve that, I think I was being awfully selfish.

"I'm very sorry for leaving Mr. Ismay, I won't do it again," I say, sitting on my bed and looking up at him as he paces the floor anxiously.

He pauses in his pacing to face me, "What's wrong dear child? I cannot fix anything unless I know the problem. I am trying my best to make you comfortable, I apologize for leaving you here most days but I assure you it is for your own protection. These inquiries, they," he pauses, "They'd only upset you."

I open my mouth to tell him that I was angry at him for ignoring me, but suddenly I stop. Is that really what the matter is? I look back on my actions, my doubts. Have I been doing the right thing? "I think my father would be upset with me," I finally say, softly.

Mr. Ismay looks a bit shocked by my statement, "Why?"

"My mother and father always told me to make them proud. I'm supposed to be a well-behaved young lady, I'm supposed to be first class, I'm supposed to do everything right! Yet here I am being rude, and difficult, and ungrateful to you. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel as though I don't know what's right and what's wrong. I've made so many mistakes already, I feel so alone."

There's a long pause before he comes over and sits on the bed beside me. "Alice, your father may not be here to guide you, and in some regards you have been left on your own. I'm the only one at your side at the moment, and I know I haven't been around these past few days. But no matter what, you're not alone Alice."

He takes my hands, forcing me to meet his gaze. He's gravely serious with me, "Dear child, you must understand that people make mistakes. Fathers, mothers, millionaires, peasants, all people make mistakes. I have made mistakes, many of them quite recently. I'm sure your father made mistakes in his life too. It's what makes us human. As long as you honor your mistakes and make good on them, you will always be forgiven. You are too young to worry about knowing what is right and what is wrong, yet I will tell you now that even when you grow up, there will never be a clear cut answer anyhow. You must decide what's right and what's good. Someone will be on your side, someone else won't be. You mustn't let those that oppose you change what you truly believe in your heart to be the right thing to do."

"You've been a very good girl Alice, your outbursts have been justified, and I have already forgiven you for them. I know if your father were here he would be more than proud of you. You've been very brave and strong-willed these past few days, which is more than many adult survivors of this tragedy can say for themselves at the moment. I will certainly tell your mother that you have been a very mature, caring, grateful child and that it was my honor to be able to care for you."

He is right, I know that he is. If he were wrong I wouldn't find myself crying. He wipes the tears from my eyes before cupping my cheek in his hand. "Don't fret Alice, I won't leave you again. We'll stay together from this point on. In this time of grief, I would say that we both could use each other's company."

I nod in agreement and he smiles faintly, "Good girl. Now I believe it would be best if you went to sleep now. We're boarding a ship tomorrow, time to begin our journey home."

He stands to leave, but before he does, I squeeze his hand and thank him for what he'd said. He has certainly given me a lot to think about! Once he leaves the room I call the maid to change me for bed. I hardly pay any mind to her as she helps me out of my dress and leaves the room. I pull Dip the bear to my chest and close my eyes to think about what Mr. Ismay said. I'm not alone, that's what Mr. Andrews had told me too. He told me he'd always be with me, I believe him.

The journey home will certainly be a strange one, traveling with Mr. Ismay instead of daddy, but I'm not too worried about it. I only hope that Mr. Ismay can keep himself together not just for my sake, but for the sake of his family waiting back home. Poor George, perhaps I shall advise him now to rethink his plans of building a bigger fleet of ships. Perhaps we should learn from the mistakes of our fathers and design a fleet of ships that aren't the biggest and grandest, but are the safest instead.

**A/N: We're reaching the end of our adventure everyone! Next two chapters will be sorta a 2 part epilogue. It is too long to make into one, so I've split it up. The other thing is, it's not quite finished yet. So the ending is going to take me a few days to post. But it should be up within the week! In the meantime, pretty PLEASE review, please with sugar on top. And as always, Thanks for Reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

It has been a few decades since I arrived home in Belfast after leaving New York with Mr. Ismay. Yet, even after all this time I can still remember everything as though it happened yesterday.

It's been a few years since I arrived home in Belfast after leaving New York with Mr. Ismay. The voyage itself was rather unremarkable. The ship didn't compare to Titanic, and Mr. Ismay trembled with nerves the entire voyage. He told me he never wanted to see another ship again, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for not only him, but his poor son George as well.

We went from New York to England first, and when we got there Mr. Ismay was bombarded by press and told he had to go to yet another inquiry. So, he bought me a ticket to Belfast, and with a final kiss on the hand bid me farewell, and good luck. He promised to write and make sure I made it home, and he kept his promise.

When I arrived in Belfast, there were a few people waiting for me. Mummy wasn't there, but I recognized most of the people there as workers from the shipyard. They all knew me, from trailing daddy every once in a while as he examined Titanic's progress. All of them took their hats off to me and watched me in silence as I walked to a waiting carriage and stepped in. I had to try very hard not to cry in front of all of them, my heart ached so much though. Mr. Andrews loved these workers, he loved all his workers, like they were his best friends, his brothers!

The carriage ride home was actually shorter than I wanted it to be. I was a little nervous and afraid to face mummy, would she be angry at me? Upset? Well of course she would be upset, but what would things be like without Mr. Andrews? What if she threw me out? I stepped out of the carriage, took my suitcase, and tramped up the walkway and up to the front door. I wasn't sure what to do, so I knocked at the door and waited. After what seemed like forever, one of the maids answered the door.

She stared at me, in shock, as though she were seeing a ghost. It was at that moment I realized I'd never gotten around to writing home, or sending a message of any sort telling them I was all right. I was sure they knew by then my father was gone, but they must have assumed I went down with him. She turned very pale and I was very afraid she would faint on the floor, so I just pushed my way in and closed the door behind me.

Mummy walked out of the sitting room, likely to see who the maid had just let in, and had a very similar reaction. She had to catch herself on the door-frame, and stared at me as though I couldn't possibly be real. I set my suitcase down and took a few steps forward. Then I took one of Mrs. Andrews' shaking hands, "Mummy? Mummy it's me, Alice," I told her hesitantly.

Suddenly she burst into hysterical sobs, sinking to the floor and pulling me into her, running her hands through my hair. "Alice! I thought I'd lost you," she choked out. I managed to wiggle out of her grasp and get her to sit on the couch in the sitting room. She took me into her lap and held me, not wanting to let me go.

"Mummy, I'm ok," I told her. Through her tears she asked me so many questions, I tried to answer them as best I could, but it was hard to understand because she was crying so hard. I felt tears trail down my own cheeks, I wanted daddy here. I wanted him to have mummy in his arms, I wanted him tell her he loved her, that he'd be with her always. I didn't want to be the one who had to say the message for him, but that was his dying request, and I would honor it.

I kissed mummy on the cheek and told her about Mr. Andrews, how he had sent me away with that heartfelt message. I told her I wanted to die with him, but didn't go any further than that because it made her more upset. What was I to do? I had no idea! So I merely sat there, trying to get mummy to calm down. Finally she did, she composed herself as best she could. I wanted to get off the subject of daddy, so I asked her where Elba was.

Mummy choked up a little bit once more, "She's upstairs," she told me. Obviously mummy wasn't going to get up off the couch at that moment, so I gave her hand a final reassuring squeeze before standing and running upstairs. I wanted to see Elba, I wanted to see her more than anything! She wouldn't cry! She was too young to understand, at least I hoped she was.

When I entered our room, she was sitting on the floor playing with one of her dolls. She saw me and her face lit up, before she said something that broke my heart, "Awice!" I'd asked her to be able to say my name when I returned, and now she has said it. I couldn't cry in front of Elba though, it would have upset her! I knelt down in front of her and she stood up, running up to me and giving me a big hug, "Awice! I miss'd you!" she told me. I swallowed back tears and told her I missed her too. Suddenly she looked behind me, "Where's Daddy?" she asked.

Why she had to make things so hard, I still don't know, but I continued fighting the tears as I spoke to her, "He's, well Elba, you see, he's here. It's just that, you can't see him anymore."

She crinkled her nose, confused, "Why nawt?" she asked me. Oh how I wished in that moment that Elba still couldn't talk. I can't remember exactly what I told her, but I definitely remember explaining to her that even though she couldn't see daddy, he was with her all the time, and he loved her very much. She accepted that answer, and for most of her childhood she believed it was true. She believed it in the most literal sense! About a year or two later I remember walking past our bedroom door and hearing her ask daddy if he wanted more tea. Peaking in through the door, I saw she had a little table set up, with four little tea cups on the table. One was for her, one was for one of her dolls, one was for her stuffed giraffe named Ludwig, and the last place was empty, but she was addressing it, as though daddy sat there drinking tea with her and her other little friends. I hid in the garden very upset after I saw that.

Mummy told me not to speak about Mr. Andrews for a full year after I came home. Instead she tried to distract me from his absence by starting my lessons again and eventually sending me to school. I showed her the page of the horse book I read to daddy on Titanic, and I read it aloud to her one Sunday afternoon. She was very proud of me, it was one of the first times I saw her smile after the tragedy. I decided not to tell her where the page of the book came from, or who I first read it to. She probably just assumed I found it somewhere. I also didn't tell her about daddy's journal, or his pocket watch. After his death she began collecting up his things, hiding them away so Elba wouldn't see them. The only object of his that she didn't hide away, was the ring he gave her when he proposed. A sapphire surrounded by little diamonds.

I find it a little funny that she cherishes that ring so. I know she loved him very, very much, but when my father first proposed she was stunned into silence and didn't exactly give him the answer he'd wanted. I remember finding the letter he wrote her the day after his failure, and having my heart break as I read his words. Written in his perfect scroll, he said, 'My dear Nellie, I cannot tell you how much it grieves me to feel that I frightened you or gave you any annoyance last night. Had I for one moment thought that we did not understand each other all these years, since we first met, that you did not love me.' I was crying by that moment, my poor father! There was another line further in the letter that hurt me too, 'I am alone to blame.' I am sure that he was thinking that as the Titanic sank, it broke my heart to read it in his hand writing.

Five years after Mr. Andrews' death, mummy married again. I was 17 years old at the time, and Elba was 7. I did not, under any circumstances, want to leave the current house to move in with mummy's new husband, Elba didn't want to leave either. But mummy forced the both of us out, and that was when things between the three of us began to fall apart. Elba and I never hated our mother, of course we loved her, it's just that for a while, we felt betrayed that she would marry again. I remember Elba asking me while mummy was out on her honeymoon, "Doesn't Mommy love Daddy anymore?" I told her mummy loved daddy very much, I couldn't tell her why she married someone else though. Elba still believed daddy was literally with her.

When Elba was 10, and I had newly turned 20, I wished to leave Ireland to see the rest of the world. Mummy was absolutely against it, and many arguments broke out between us over my staying. I told her I wanted to go out and live my life, since I was an adult. Even Mr. Harland agreed that I should be allowed to begin starting a life for myself, but mummy was 100% against letting me leave the household, let alone Ireland, under any circumstances.

I wanted to do what Joey and Mr. Andrews wanted me to do, go out and live life to the fullest. Staying with my mother, I knew I was not living up to my potential! I wasn't doing anything. Though things changed when I began seeing someone.

I'd first met him in the woods about a year prior. I'd just had a terribly argument with mummy, and had run from the house with the mindset that putting distance between us would somehow change her mind. I must have looked a mess, my hair wild and unkempt and my dress a simple blue one that I only wore around the house. He'd been riding with a hunting party when he came upon me. I thought him just a shipyard worker or a farmer, or some such thing. He wasn't impeccably dressed, and he spoke with slang that didn't particularly place him in my mind as a man of high class. His cheek was even smudged with a bit of dirt, and his horse's legs were absolutely covered in it.

He'd asked me if I was all right, and when I assured him I was fine he told me how he had taken the route through the woods as a dare, since it was known to be treacherous. He'd gotten a bit of mud splashed in his face and nearly fallen three times by the time he nearly ran me over, but he found it thrilling. We had a long talk standing there, he informed me that loved to have a bit of fun. If someone told him to do something he'd do it, no matter how crazy. When I asked him why he did such insane things and he told me simply, "You only live once, why not make it count while you can?" I was rather charmed by that phrase, he'd been quite right in my opinion.

As it turned out, he came from a rather wealthy family. I met him again at a social gathering in May a year later, where he surprised me by approaching me and asking me to dance. That night, he swept me off my feet and I felt as though I were in a dream. He began to courting me afterwards, and I daresay I already knew I loved him very, very much.

He and I were similar in many ways, we had the same ideals and the same sense of humor. He was also quite handsome, with gentle blue eyes and a charmingly goofy smile. He had a kind personality as well, and could get along with anyone. There really wasn't much not to like about him. He reminded me of Joey, he had a lot of the same silly, childish qualities. Will just had a lot more class than Joey could ever dream of.

One day we were outside taking a stroll through the gardens behind my new home. It was May again, and the flowers are always absolutely beautiful that time of year, then was no exception. The weather was nice as well, not too hot nor too cold. We sat down for a rest and while he appeared as calm and laid back as usual, there was something amiss that I couldn't quite place.

"Alice, I've a question. Are you happy?"

"Yes, I'm quite happy. Aren't you?"

He'd nodded, "Oh I certainly am. I have another question though. If you answer the way I hope you do, I'll be the happiest man in the world." Before I could even think or say anything, he was down on one knee before me, presenting me with a black velvet box. Inside was the most beautiful diamond ring I believe I had ever seen. "Alice Andrews, will you marry me?"

For a moment, I was absolutely speechless, much like mummy had been when Mr. Andrews had asked her the same question. Marry me? I'd felt tears well in my eyes, and I couldn't tell whether they were tears of joy or of disappointment.

"Oh Will," I'd replied, breathlessly. I wanted to say yes, I wanted to say yes more than anything in the world. Yet for him, I was worried about my history and my position. He deserved a girl who matched his status, a rich lady who could bring more to a marriage than I ever could. How would his parents ever accept me? "I, I'm no princess. I have nothing really, no parents, no dowry. I do not even know if that beautiful ring will fit. But if it does, will you take me as I am? An honest Irish girl who loves you?"

"Of course I will. But only if you'll take me as I am. A young man still learning his trade, and trying to make his way in the world."

Taking my hand gently, he slipped the ring onto my finger. It was a perfect fit, and I could hardly fathom how he even managed it. I felt tears trickle down my cheeks and I smiled up at him. He would take me, over all the wealthy girls in the world he had chosen me! He took me in his arms and I knew then and there that he and I were meant to be together.

Much to mummy's delight, I married him and became Mrs. Alice Donnelly. And because I married him, I ended up staying in Ireland just like she'd wanted. Elba was pleased as well, though she'd been very upset when I told her I'd be leaving the house. I promised her she could visit as often as she liked, and she definitely took me up on my offer, trying to get to my house almost every Sunday I was home. Mummy would accompany her most of the time, but when Elba got a little older she was able to come by herself. Nothing against mummy, but I was glad when Elba came alone. We had a special bond, the two of us.

William and I had a lot of fun before we settled down permanently though. He loved to travel as much as I did, and while our home would always be in Ireland, he had no trouble granting my wish of seeing the world. I saw so many fantastic places! I saw the pyramids that Madeleine Astor told me about, I saw the Great Wall of China that daddy had spoken of once. I went to Paris and ate the most wonderful food I ever tasted, the closest to Titanic fare I ever had, dare I say even better. We also went to a lot of parties, and I mean a lot.

The roaring twenties was quite a time to be a young adult. After so many years being reined in by the first class society we lived in, the 20s was a time to finally let loose. Short skirts, short hair, wildly upbeat music. Will and I totally and completely embraced it, though I sometimes wondered what Mr. Andrews would make of me if I saw me dancing the Charleston in a skirt that barely covered my knees, at parties populated by all walks of life from the richest to the poorest in society.

Paris was the best for parties, though Will and I attended plenty of wild social gatherings all over the place. There was a ban on alcohol in America, but somehow the first class there managed to throw the absolute wildest parties I ever attended. I reunited with some old friends at some of these social gatherings, like Lucile and Billy Carter. Lucile and I kept in contact our entire lives, she married eventually and had a daughter and a son, though I never had the pleasure of meeting them.

Will was particularly popular at these gatherings for his wildness and willingness to do just about anything. I should perhaps consider myself lucky that as an Irishman, he held his drink well and never ever hit, yelled, or abused me in any way. He made sure not to go over his limit, saying the mornings after simply weren't worth getting roaring drunk, and that you could have just as much fun with only a drink or two. Staying sober actually made him more popular, as he helped countless others stumble to taxis afterwards and saved many a girl from doing things she would regret later. His personality won him over with everyone.

I was rather popular as well, and I made a lot of friends at those parties. I felt comfortable with the mixes of class. I knew how to communicate with the richest and the poorest, and universally they all shared the same love of dancing. I rarely drank at the parties, rather I would be out on the dancefloor having the absolute time of my life. I also loved dressing up for those parties, the dresses were absolutely fantastic, in colors I would have never imagined wearing on Titanic and with incredible amounts of beading and fringe. No more lace, no more corsets, and the skirts were so short they didn't get in the way. You could actually run in them, I felt free to do just about anything!

I loved it, but eventually we really needed to settle down. After one particularly wild party in Paris, I became pregnant with my first child. Will's father was also pressing to retire, and really wanted his son to return and take over their family business. So, we ended up back at Will's estate permanently, where I held my own social gatherings. At the first gathering I held, I taught Elba and all her half-siblings how to do the Charleston. It was something that mummy quietly disapproved of, and Mr. Harland was rather indifferent to. I think he secretly supported it, but he never said anything.

By that time I felt as though I finally fit in first class. I wasn't totally worried about what people thought about me, I just followed Maggie Brown's advice and was myself. Everything that was expected of me was second nature, and it didn't take much to charm the elite while still being myself. At the gatherings I held I sang and danced, and I even learned how to play a bit of piano so I could play the rags I'd heard during my travels. Alexander's Ragtime Band was the first song I learned, it always held a special place in my heart.

During this time, right after my first child had been born, I had White Star brought to me. Will had a stable with a couple of horses. One day as I was writing to Joey an idea popped into my head. White Star could come to live with me in Ireland! I could finally keep her! I scrapped the letter I'd been writing and started over, asking him if White Star was in condition to travel. I knew she'd delivered her baby a while ago, a little black son with a white spot on his head just like his mother's and four white socks. When Joey had written to me and asked me what I wanted to call him, I answered his letter with one word, 'Unsinkable'.

Joey answered my letter telling me that White Star would be perfectly fit to travel, however, he wanted to keep Unsinkable in America, to race him and breed him. I decided after everything Joey had done for me, and since he was one of my dearest friends, that he could keep the little horse. Who knew, maybe Unsinkable would become a champion! Little less than a month later White Star arrived on my doorstep, and I could not stop petting her neck for almost an hour after we got her into the stall. Will told me she was a pretty little horse, and asked me if I knew how to ride. I told him I'd never learned, and he quickly set to teaching me.

I learned how to ride White Star, and the feeling of being on the back of a horse was one of the greatest feelings in the world! I was sure daddy would be proud of me for learning how to ride a horse, and what was more, I rode the horse with one leg on either side! And Will taught me how to jump White Star over fences and piles of stones and fallen trees! Everything became an obstacle to jump over! And jump those obstacles we did! When we didn't jump, we simply galloped across the countryside, I felt free of any and all burdens or guilt when I rode White Star.

Things changed when World War 2 occurred. By that time I had given birth to five lovely children, two sons and three daughters. My eldest son Thomas, was as gentle and caring as his namesake, while his brother Joseph was a bit of a freer spirit. The two of them both doted on their younger sisters, Samantha, Rose, and Nellie. I needed them to be strong for me, for we were heading into a dark period in history.

The Belfast Blitz is an event I doubt I shall ever forget. William had left for Belfast on a business trip the night before, leaving me home alone with the children. We didn't live very close to Belfast, yet we could still hear the explosions in the distance. I had vivid flashbacks to Titanic, and how I wished to cry out in fear. I drew strength from my children though, and we huddled down in our shelter together.

I told them stories of their brave grandfather, Thomas Andrews, and the mighty ship Titanic that he'd built, which had been the largest ship of its time. I told them my very own version of Cinderella, I told them of a poor unwanted girl taken in and made a princess overnight. I told them of splendor and glitz that would likely never be matched again. I told them, and they listened attentively. At the end of it all, I sang them Lavender's Blue to get them asleep. It worked of course since, it was their favorite lullaby, and once I was certain they were all asleep I buried my face in my hands and wept.

Their father didn't return for quite some time, as it turned out he was rather badly injured in the attack. His leg was permanently damaged, he would need to rely on a cane for the rest of his life and he would always walk with a limp. He telegraphed a friend of his, who then came to inform me that he was embarrassed to come home, that he didn't want to face me knowing he wasn't all the man he had been. He was ashamed, and I felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. I spent so much time trying to find him, but he never told me where he was, and none of his friends would tell me either. As Christmas came around, I felt at a total loss, as though he'd died rather than only injured himself.

I held a gathering for the family on Christmas Eve, as had become tradition. I stood to the side most of the time, watching the children play and the adults mingle and sing carols around the tree. I didn't hear him as he snuck in through the back door, nor did I know he was standing behind me until he whispered in my ear, "Happy Christmas."

I spun around and there he stood, a little worn looking but it was him. I wanted to say something, but he quickly hushed me. I instantly began to cry, I couldn't help it. I never thought I would see him again! He took my hand with a smile and led me into one of the side passages, away from the party and people.

"I love you-"

"Shhhhh. We'll worry about everything else later, but for now let's just have a very Happy Christmas," he said.

Taking my hand, we left the party entirely and slipped into the servants' staircase, where he set his cane down and took me into his arms, kissing me passionately. He lifted me right off my feet and in that moment, I could have cared less about his disability. He was not any less the man he had been. He was still the man who had danced with me, who'd taught me to ride, who was the father of my beautiful children. He was still the man I loved, and nothing in the entire world would change that.

That night, I actually thought to myself, that I was happy. I am happy. Despite all the things that had happened to me, both bad and good, I was all right. Perhaps I was no longer a princess, that gilded age had long passed us all by, but I was happy. I had everything I could have ever asked for and more, much, much more. For the first time in my life, I realized the true meaning of living my life to the fullest. It wasn't about conforming to society or rebelling, it wasn't about the number of things you'd done. Living your life to the fullest is just being as happy as you can be. With William at my side, I know that simply put, I couldn't be happier.

**A/N: Next chapter is the last! It's been fun. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thanks ever so much to aloha4life for reviewing every single chapter. You are dedicated, and you are awesome! Thank you! To my other readers, please review! I love hearing feedback, what you liked, what you didn't like, it's like candy to me! So, if you have the time, pretty please review! In any case, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!**


	19. Chapter 19

It has been many, many decades now since I survived the sinking of the Titanic. Yet, even after all this time I can still remember everything as though it happened yesterday. A lot has changed in all that time

Raising a family was both the most challenging and the most wonderful thing I ever did. I wanted to be the best parent I could be, and I think I did a pretty good job. I wanted to make sure my children had the childhood I never got. I spoiled them quite badly, but I also made sure to teach them to always be grateful for what they had and to be kind to others.

Also, having a family of my own, I realized what daddy must have felt on the Titanic knowing he'd never see Elba ever again, knowing he'd never see me again. I know I wouldn't have been able to do what Mr. Andrews did. I wouldn't have been able to resist getting in the lifeboat, if only to see my child smile one more time. If only to have my spouse in my arms again! Daddy was so strong, and sometimes when I watched my children playing in the garden, I strongly wished he could be there to see them.

My first son, Thomas, is as gentle as his namesake. He always wanted to help others, in fact he met his wife when she accidently fell into a fountain and he dove in after her to save her. Thomas became a doctor in England, and is well respected. My second son, Joseph, was always a little different, he became an artist and moved to Paris. He write to me often, and always sends me a sketch or two of some of the things he has seen or done. He tells me that there are so many pretty French girls, it is difficult to choose the one to stay with forever. I still hope one day he realizes there's more to it than a pretty face.

Then there are my three daughters, Samantha, Rose, and Nellie. Samantha was much like Thomas in the sense she was gentle, and good natured. She found a stray puppy once and insisted on nursing it back to health. The little golden pup became known as 'Jip', and where ever Samantha went, the little pup was sure to be right by her side. She hasn't married off yet, she carries the same desire to travel as I do and has now been even more places than me. My second daughter, Rose, was always wild child! She was defiant, and unhappy when she had to act proper during social gatherings. Try as Will did to get her to fall in love with a man that had a lot of money, she fell for a gambler in New York and the two of them ended up eloping to Chicago, which we didn't find out about until 5 years later when Rose finally sent me a letter, saying she was sorry for running off, but she loved her husband and wanted to be happy. After five years of thinking she'd been kidnapped or even murdered, we accepted the marriage.

My youngest child, dear Nellie. She was quiet, always quiet, but very close to her brothers, especially Thomas. I had to hold back tears whenever I saw them out in the garden together, Thomas holding little Nellie's hand as he showed her different flowers that were beginning to bloom in the spring. Nellie was heartbroken when Thomas had to leave for medical school, and was overjoyed when he came home for Christmas and other holidays. She married eventually, to a boy who was her complete opposite! He was outgoing and bright, and he brought out the best in Nellie. They are quite a pair, those two.

Each year has seemed better than the last in my eyes. Though I've gotten older, I don't feel my age. The only thing that shows me how old I am is the outside world! I mean, girls can wear trousers now, TROUSERS! I felt a bit angry at first when skirts began to get shorter and shorter, but then girls were allowed to wear trousers, and I was furious. All that time and effort learning how to be a lady, dealing with corsets and all those things, only to find that not even ten years later they're not in fashion anymore? It was absurd! Still, I did go along with the fashions. The twenties, again, was my favorite time in that regard.

There have been good things about the changing times! Radios, television, telephones that could call across the ocean. The telephone thing was convenient for talking to Joey, but we only talked on the phone once a year because it's rather expensive. It was always good to hear his voice, even the year he had to tell me Unsinkable had died at the ripe old age of 21. White Star had died of old age by then as well, after many years of love she'd gone quietly in her pasture one night.

Horses aside, I've outlived a lot of people too, including Joey. He died about ten years ago, he fell off a horse. Can't say I'm not surprised, he would tell me he was too old to be riding horses, let alone still racing them. He only raced for fun, that's what he claimed. I suppose I'm happy that he went that way, it was probably short and quick, and he died doing what he loved. About a year later Elba died in a car accident, my heart still hasn't recovered from the loss. She was on her way home from a job in Dublin when it happened, I cried nonstop for a week after. I still cry sometimes when I come across little drawings or things that she gave me. I even have Ludwig the giraffe, who is sitting on a shelf next to Dip, the bear Mr. Ismay won me so many years ago.

Poor Mr. Ismay, he had a hard life after he got back to England. He quickly retired and actually moved to the west coast of Ireland. I made sure to visit him when I could, I believe he was very lonely. He'd never been one who would willingly live a sheltered life. Also, his wife made it so he wasn't allowed to talk about Titanic, ever, even though all that was ever on his mind was that ship. I'd visit him when his wife wasn't around, and I'd let him talk about the ship. We'd talk about Titanic as though we were still on it, and I know he was grateful to me even to the end. He got very sick and died in London about 20 years after the Titanic disaster. Sure he was old, but I feel like if the press hasn't been so cruel he would have lived longer.

Only a few years after Mr. Ismay's death was when I nearly lost Will during the Second World War. His disability changed things slightly for us. He could no longer ride horses, or dance, but I didn't love him any less. His limp finally made us slow down, instead of always rushing about, we took the time to appreciate the quieter moments in life. We enjoyed picnics, lazy walks along the beach on Sunday afternoons, and quiet evenings in our sitting room with a fire cackling and the radio playing our favorite songs. He died last year of pneumonia, and I felt as though I lost my other half.

Mummy died too, I sat with her when she was on her death bed. It was not by any means a pleasant experience, but it was certainly a quick one. I noted with great sadness that she died not very far away from our old house in Belfast. When she died I went through most of her things and took anything and everything belonging to my father, and a few things of hers as well. While I was going through all those things, a thought occurred to me. After all these years, I had not yet read my father's journal. It sat in a box, along with his pocket watch and the page I tore from the horse book, under my bed.

When I got home after my mother's funeral, I opened the box and pulled the journal out, opening it to the first page and beginning to read. Each page filled me with emotion, he wrote about Titanic so vividly it was as though I were still on it. He noted every little imperfection, from a boiler fire I never even knew about, to silly things like the number of screws in a hat rack! But the most interesting part, was that at the end of every day's notes during the voyage he wrote something about me! All sorts of things, little notes about what I'd done, or things I'd said. I laughed at some of them, but one note in particular changed everything.

_"April 13th, 1912. Returned to the master at arms' office today, had a confrontation with Alice's father. The man demanded I hand Alice over when we reach America or he will involve the police, and legally he is allowed to do so. I am only fostering the girl, the county offices haven't allowed me to adopt her with her father still alive. I couldn't come up with suitable evidence that would enable them to legally free her from an abusive guardian. She was considered a runaway, they almost made me hand her over then to be returned to her father. Despite my best efforts, all I could do was foster her until either her father wanted her back, the girl turned 18, or evidence was found against him deeming him an unsuitable guardian. That's what the contract says. He must have forgotten about her, as I'd hoped he would. My hopes were that he'd forget until she turned 18 years old. However when he set eyes on her last night, he was reminded. Now I fear I will lose her forever, and I'm unsure how to tell Alice. I love her as though she were my own little girl. I will stop at nothing to protect her from that wicked man. She is my baby, as much as Elba is my baby, and I will keep her safe on this voyage. I have not broken a promise to her yet, and I don't intend to start now."_

I'd dropped everything in that moment and investigated the matter thoroughly. I never knew that! I'd never known any of it. I dug through my mother's papers, finding anything and everything with my name on it. At the bottom of the pile I found what I was looking for, a telegram dated April 14th. Mr. Andrews had worked with the master at arms and found the evidence against my father he needed, and he found a lawyer on board to sign the paperwork. He telegraphed New York, and then Belfast, to tell my mother that I had officially been adopted. I was his child for less than 24 hours, and the knowledge weighed heavily on my heart for years after the discovery.

It was suddenly as though all the time I'd spent with him was only half as real. For a time, I felt as though I'd lost a piece of myself, as though I weren't entirely sure who I was. I was completely torn up about it, and couldn't even bring myself to tell Elba. I gave her everything of daddy's that I owned, almost including the journal that had revealed so much. Thankfully, I wasn't in a slump for long. With William's help, I eventually came to terms with the fact that, truly, every moment I had spent in Mr. Andrews' household had been as true and real as they would have been if I'd legally been Alice Andrews. In his last moments of life, I'd been his little girl, and in the end that was all that mattered to him.

I continued reading the journal once I regained confidence in my identity. I enjoyed reading the journal really, he wrote the most heartfelt things about me, which both warmed and broke my heart. His fears when I'd gone missing because I went below with Joey, his happiness that I'd been able to read that page in the book, his excitement to take me to New York and show me a horse race. I learned so much from that journal about the way he saw the world. The only thing that educated me about daddy more than that, was the biography someone wrote about him, which was the first real book I ever read entirely by myself.

The book told me a lot of things I already knew, like what he did at the yard and his bravery on Titanic, what it taught me about was things like his little Shetland pony! I didn't know he'd had a pony! I asked Mr. Andrews' parents about it when mummy and I visited one day and they told all sorts of stories about him and that pony. And I loved every minute of them telling me about young Tommie Andrews, leading his pony around through the gardens and picking carrots for him. Stories about him practically crying when his pony got a little scratch from a nail sticking out in the fence. Then they told me other stories, they had so many stories to tell that it took them all day just to tell me every single one they could think of, all about Mr. Andrews!

I learned about his life, which he lived to the fullest just as Joey told me. And it makes me even more positive I've lived mine to the fullest as well. Now I'm lying here in bed, on the 74th anniversary of the ship sinking. I'm a little afraid to go to sleep, because every year on the anniversary I have the same dream I had on the Carpathia, the one where I'm standing in the smoking room with my daddy while the ship sinks. Even though I expect it every time, it's still frightening.

As I close my eyes, reopen them and realize that I am indeed on the Titanic once more. Only this time, I'm standing on one of the promenade decks. I look out to the ocean, the sky is blue and everything is perfectly fine. That's odd, I look down at my hands. I'm young again, although usually when I'm in this dream I'm still 12, this time I'm older, about the same age I married William actually. I look around the deck some more, nobody's out here. Maybe if I go walking I'll find someone! I begin my stroll down the deck. This is rather peaceful actually! I also take notice that I'm wearing a beautiful white dress, I haven't worn a dress like this since, well since my wedding day! It's plain, but light as a feather and the purest white I have ever seen, it practically glows.

Suddenly, I think I hear people. It's coming from the doors that lead to the grand staircase. As I turn to go in the door, two men open them for me, smiling brightly. This is very odd, and I feel a little nervous as I walk into the grand staircase. There are a lot of people here, more than I think are supposed to be in here! I recognize them all too! There are the musicians who played until the end, and the steward who I made open the gate in third class while the boat was sinking, and there's John Jacob Astor and Madeleine, with their dog who I assume must be Kitty. And there are the people I met in third class that night when I went down with Joey! And Mr. Ismay! Oh Mr. Ismay! He looks so happy! Mummy and Elba are standing there with him! I want to stop and hug them, but they nod towards the staircase with encouraging smiles.

At the bottom of the staircase is Joey, smiling his usual big goofy smile, looking just as he did when the ship sank. I stop in front of him but he motions for me to go up the stairs before winking at me. I begin walking up the steps, not even bothering to look up them. I'm too busy taking in all the people here, taking in the ship I haven't seen in so long. When I finally do lift my head though, I see Mr. Andrews standing there waiting for me, and just like everyone else, he's smiling. I practically run up the rest of the stairs and into his arms, burying my face into his shoulder. In my dreams I could never reach him, now here he is! Just like before! After all these years my wish has come true, I've finally met him again. I begin to cry and daddy hushes me, "Alice sweetheart, everything is all right. Don't cry," he tells me.

I sniffle, "Oh Daddy! I missed you!" I tell him. I love him so much and now to finally have him here! I've waited practically my whole life to see him again!

He chuckles, the sound of his voice is so reassuring, "I've missed you too my darling. But you don't have to miss me anymore. I'm here, like I've always been, and I'm not going anywhere," he tells me. Had he really been with me all my life? I don't know, and right now I don't care! He's here! With me! And everyone else is here too! Looking up, the upper levels have even more people! The captain and all the officers are there, and William! My darling William is here too! Everyone's here! But wait a moment, all these people here with me, they're dead. Does that mean I'm dead? Is this what heaven is? Titanic?

It would make sense that Titanic would be our heaven, wouldn't it? It was the ship of dreams, an 8th wonder of the universe! Why wouldn't it be? I nuzzle my face into Mr. Andrews' shoulder and he kisses my temple, "Daddy, are we going to be on Titanic forever?" I ask him suddenly, feeling like the little girl I was when I knew him.

He laughs, "Of course Alice, God himself won't sink this ship!"

My daddy never lies, if he says this ship won't sink, then I know it won't. We'll simply sail on into eternity, and nothing will ever separate us again, ever.


End file.
